“Fridays in Hell”
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I’m in hell!
Satan: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that’s
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine
coolers,
diet tab and fresca… we drink till we throw up and
then we
drink some more! And we don’t worry about getting a
hangover,
because you’re dead anyway.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Satan: All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the
finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs
out.
If
you get cancer - no biggie, you’re already dead,
remember?
Guy: Wow… that’s awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go
bankrupt
you’re dead anyhow.
Satan: What about Drugs?!?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…
Satan: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great
big
bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re
dead,
who cares.
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: No…
Satan: Ooooh (grimaces). You’re gonna hate Fridays.