Top four signs that you are old.
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Liver spots out-number your freckles four to one.
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Your forhead is slowly expanding and is in danger of engulfing the top of your head.
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You are more concerned about you daily bowel movement than the prospect of peace in the Middle East.
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Your memory is, err… your memory is emm… your what do you call it is… oh forget it !
I didn’t dare think of the future; the past was still happening..