On the one side this person prides themselves on not missing salat meanwhile they can’t stop bad-mouthing family and friends to their “confidant”. They will sit in someone’s company and just as a back is turned they will talk of them.
When they lose their temper they let out the worst profanities for those that they are upset with.
I understand that they have differences with some of these people…but I don’t see what name-calling and swearing accomplishes.
Can someone please suggest some hadees or duas that can help this person?
one has to guard his/her tongue because this tongue is one of the major reasons why a large number of Muslims will end up in hell on the Day of Judgement...there are numerous aHaadees-e-saHeeHa which warns men/women to guard their tongues.
I think there might be many dua's but I haven't came across any so far. However, the best is to read continuously "Astagfar" and "La Ilaha Illallah".
*Book 'The Book Pertaining to Paradise, Its Description, Its Bounties and Its Intimates (Kitab Al-Jannat wa Sifat Naimiha wa Ahliha)' of Sahih Muslim. Hadith No. 6853.
*
It is narrated from 'Iyad b. Him-ar that the inmates of Hell are five:
1- The weak who lack power to (avoid evil).
2- The (carefree) who pursue (everything irrespective of the fact that it is good or evil) and who do not have any care for their family or for their wealth.
3- Those dishonest whose greed cannot be concealed even in the case of minor things.
4- Those who betray you. morning and evening, in regard to your family and your property.
5- The miser and the liar and those who are in the habit of abusing people and using obscene and foul language.
Can someone please suggest some hadees or duas that can help this person?
Sahl Ibn Sa’ad reported that Allah’s Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “Whoever can guarantee for me (that he will guard) what is between his jaws (tongue) and what is between his legs (private parts), I will guarantee for him Paradise.” (Bukhari)
Prophet (sallahu alayhi wa salaam) said to Muadh Ibn Jabal, “Shall I not tell you of what controls all that?’ I said: ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ So he took a hold of **his tongue, and said: **‘Restrain this!’ (ie hold your tongue) I said: ‘O Prophet of Allah, will we be held accountable for what we say?’ He, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: *“May your mother be bereaved of you, O Mu’adh! Is there anything that causes people to be dragged on their faces – or he said – on their noses into Hellfire other than the harvests of their tongues?’” *(Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Ahmad- Sahih)
Noble Qur'an [al-Hujurat 49:23]: "O you who have attained to faith! Avoid most guesswork [about one another] for, behold, some of [such] guesswork is [in itself] a sin; and do not spy upon one another, and neither allow yourselves to speak ill of one another behind your backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would loathe it! And be conscious of God. Verily, God is an acceptor of repentance, a dispenser of grace!"
Noble Qur'an [al-Hujurat 49:23]: "O you who have attained to faith! Avoid most guesswork [about one another] for, behold, some of [such] guesswork is [in itself] a sin; and do not spy upon one another, and neither allow yourselves to speak ill of one another behind your backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would loathe it! And be conscious of God. Verily, God is an acceptor of repentance, a dispenser of grace!"
that Hadees is about Gheebat [back-biting] and NOT bad-mouthing!
Lemme tell ya, no hadeeth will make someone change this habit because they have justifications for what they do and it gives them inner satisfaction in doing so. These people just need to make a conscious decision to stop doing it.
Just try not to be around such people a whole lot, or if you can't avoid that, just figure out a way where you form a protective shield around your mind so what they are saying doesn't penetrate.
Lemme tell ya, no hadeeth will make someone change this habit because they have justifications for what they do and it gives them inner satisfaction in doing so. These people just need to make a conscious decision to stop doing it.
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This is what I was trying to say! You can change someone that is not willing to do so internally!
thank you all...jakakAllah.
I have some good advice here and iA will turn it into practice immediately.
Sometimes it is painful to see someone trying to turn their life around for the good and then just wasting the goodness by speaking ill of others......
The best thing i have heard is that as consequence all the backbiters previous sawab will be transferred to you, and your sins are given to him.
Perhaps you can gently remind the person as to why she wishes to further reward the person she dislikes? I.e unko apne nekia to na de. Or perhaps a serious discussion is required?
i actually thanked someone for this gift; and it was genuinely from the bottom of my heart. I could do with lots more of that seeing that its an easy way to gain; by taking other peoples hard work! Lol. Ok that isnt the right niyyat but its an awesome concept!!
I disagree with that transfer of backbiter's good deed to one another. Otherwise one would like to be with backbiters so he or she can easily get the good deeds. :)
What I heard and seen (those who practically did) that to avoid any habbit (bad) one me totally stay away (stop doing that) for 40 days.
*Do try to let the person know that the person is being foul mouth and also not to do Gheebat. *
It depends how one should let other person know depends on circumstances.
BTW: One should not tell or reveal the hypocrisy or bad habit of this individual to someone else who might know that person.
The smartest advice I've read thus far. No amount of dua is going to change his behavior unless this person realizes that what he's doing is wrong. Someone did convince him to start praying so if someone tells him about this politely, he'll probably manage to get a handle on this too.