so, as the saying goes “I can forgive but can never forget” and for some it is “I can neither forgive nor forget”.
how is it with you all, have you been deeply hurt by someone close ( like your own sibling/ cousin/spouse/friend/close relative) in some point in life and have you been able to forgive that person, if yes how long did it actually take.
i am here only asking about forgiving people who have not actually admitted their mistake and have shown no signs that they regret hurting you.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
if someone hasn't admitted their mistake or taken steps to rectify them, then forgiveness has no place in my heart for that person. I don't believe in the oprah version of forgiveness that unless you do it you cant move on. If a person has no regard for me then I move on from that person, if they however evolve and make a true effort towards reconciliation I would be open to that.
Forgiving others is never an issue, forgiving myself is tougher.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
the first step towards reconciliation is that he/she must admit to have erred and must also apologize. if that person does that the:
i'll forgive but not forget because this has taught me a lesson which i must not forget in order to be careful with such people in future.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
For me I can forget and forgive no worries, but there is a limit. If someone has been persistently irritating and a pain over a number of years and has been unable to show support or love when they should have then I don't think I forgive or forget.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
^ Faarsii kii ek kahaavat hai**:
"aazmooda raa aazmoodan jehl ast"**
[testing the tested is ignorance]
once burnt is enough to stay clear of that person...no?
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
Reporting in, only to further validate your piece of literature. 
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
Kitna jhoot boltay hain log toba toba...
It depends why was I angry at them. Many of the reasons don't matter few years down the road (like oh he stole my girlfriend when we were in high school). Now I may or may not bring that person to the same level of friendship, but yes I will forgive and forget.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
It truly depends on the nature of pain one gives you. I have been always considered as "forgive & forget" friend. My friends believe I forgive and forget things easily. But yes, as I mentioned, sometimes, few acts are hard to forgive.. & forget!!
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
It depends why was I angry at them. Many of the reasons don't matter few years down the road (like oh he stole my girlfriend when we were in high school). Now I may or may not bring that person to the same level of friendship, but yes I will forgive and forget.
Telling the person you're angry with, directly, always has helped the people involved. Not mentioning, sparing a chance for the endless misunderstandings that may lie within them.
Keeping the anger inside of you, only to pretend/hope you've forgotten about all that may have taken place between the two of you, only guarantees to be putting you/your mind in a pretty awkward/wrecked position when you see them walk past by you the next time they choose to.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
I believe it would vary person to person.. but I can forgive.. forget too.. (forgetting takes time.) forgiving myself.. takes even longer. that how could I be a fool and let myself believe that..
second is: if anything painful happens.. it would in start stir up the old feelings..
however before you forgive and forget.. make sure the person is guilty. otherwise no one is seeking forgiveness.. why are you being the martyr?
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
So no one else pursues a blood feud? Just me then. :/
if someone hasn't admitted their mistake or taken steps to rectify them, then forgiveness has no place in my heart for that person. I don't believe in the oprah version of forgiveness that unless you do it you cant move on. If a person has no regard for me then I move on from that person, if they however evolve and make a true effort towards reconciliation I would be open to that.
This. I wish I was more forgiving but in regards to the issue on my plate its hard to do. Other instances I have always forgiven and forgotten and am very patient in general but there is one lingering scenario that I am just civil about but am not ready to forget so easily but I don't think it's necessarily good for me either but I just can't.
Re: Forgiving people who were once closed to you? possible or not
so, as the saying goes "I can forgive but can never forget" and for some it is "I can neither forgive nor forget". how is it with you all, have you been deeply hurt by someone close ( like your own sibling/ cousin/spouse/friend/close relative) in some point in life and have you been able to forgive that person, if yes how long did it actually take. i am here only asking about forgiving people who have not actually admitted their mistake and have shown no signs that they regret hurting you.
Is it possible to forgive them? Probably yes, but I never really tried.