Re: Forgiving Parents
I think 'forgiving' is too strong a word to be used for parents. We as their children are no one to forgive them. I am not going to write an essay on the parents rights on children. Sweetpip, we don't know what you had been through. Parents are humans and can hurt their children. But if we go by the book, we should try to bridge any gaps and should try to remain as much nice with them as possible.
Re: Forgiving Parents
Thats the problem with desi men, they dont have a control over their tongues.
It is such a generalization. Refer to post # 4 for reference.
If you have a father , a brother and other men in your life , what do you think about them ? Do they have control over their tongues ? If they do then your generalization loses its air. If they do not still there must be some men in your life who would have control on their tongues. No ?
@OP , I will forgive my parents no matter what. They are the reason I exist , they brought me into this world , nurtured me , raised me , put up with my tantrums , they were there when I was sick , hungry , unable to walk. They were there when I could not talk the talk and I could not walk the walk, they taught me all that.
They sacrificed a lot of their own needs and wants and fulfilled mine.
What if they behaved badly or said bad things to me , I am sure I have behaved badly with them zillions of times and I must have said billions of bad things to them.
Yes may be now is not the time for you to forgive and forget but one day you will need them , you will long for them that is the time when you will forgive and forget , but that might be too late.
Re: Forgiving Parents
The bond that every parent and their kid shares makes it impossible NOT TO forgive each other, no matter what happens, so I would say forgive your parents. BUT, and remember this, NEVER let your parents emotionally blackmail you. The way I see it, things won't be the same again between you and your parents. Be nice to them, but be firm too. Stand up for your rights. As long as you maintain a balance, you will be fine :)
Re: Forgiving Parents
I am not ready to go into details, but to give some context the marriage discussion has caused the situation. For me though the issue is not that we have had disagrements on the topic; it is the hurtful things that were said and their approach are what makes it difficult for me to forgive. Although it was in anger I will never forget the words that have been said which I had never imagined a parent would throw at a daughter.
My dad and I have always had a very close relationship, but the manner in which he handled things means that it is unlikely we will ever be that close again. Although, my relationship with my mother has always been strained I am angry with her because she sends mixed messages and is unwilling to upset her family. At least my father acknowledges that the situation has been created due to family interference.
what if it was his reaction to an action?? isnt it possible he threw the sentences over you because he was also hurt deep inside??
the easiest way is, put yourself in his shoe.. realise if you were a father and he your daughter.. what would have happened and what you would have said??
as you said, you have been in a very close relation with him..may he not be expecting any of your particualr action.. ewmwmber, when you love someone, you become over sensitive or very possessive.. i am sure whatever he have said..must be a part of his anger.. after all he is your father, and he loves you true!! you should forgive him at all....... these are the nights of ibadaat..... there must have been sins that you did, openly or hiddenly.. kabira... or saghira.. but who knows?? Only Allah.. yet you cry over nights.. asking for the forgiveness.. and want Him to forgive you! Why? because you love him & you ask for forgiveness.. because you know, Allah WILL forgive you! but think for a moment.. what if He doesn't? so don't go that far.. 2 months is still not that much time.. stop it to let it become 2 years... and then you will never regret.. you never know when one comes to regret.. so go ahead, hug him.. i am sure he loves you.. he will kiss you back.. Good Luck!
Re: Forgiving Parents
what is the real story?
Re: Forgiving Parents
..
Re: Forgiving Parents
I think 'forgiving' is too strong a word to be used for parents. We as their children are no one to forgive them. I am not going to write an essay on the parents rights on children. Sweetpip, we don't know what you had been through. Parents are humans and can hurt their children. But we go by the book, we should try to bridge any gaps and should try to remain as much nice with them as possible.
Totally agreed with Ashy2010 here..........
They don't need our maafi seriously. And why we always forget how many times we hurt our parents even without realizing it...... and they forgive us everytime even we don't ask for forgiveness. If they have said something harsh........ he must be angry because of your some wrong actions. Why don't you talk to him... ask him and tell him that his words have hurt you why he did this to you. Communication is always a good option.