Well, this week I received word from somebody i haven’t talked to in about 7 years. It so happens that 7 years ago he came to my father to ask for my hand in marriage, he was a family friend and we were considering it, I did like him and I thought he had a lot of potential…something came out and we discovered he had a soon to be hindu girlfriend who heard that he had proposed etc. and that called my house telling my parents that she was having nah-jayaaz relations with him…I did confront him in front of her but sorry to say that he didn’t say anything and I decided i did not want anything to do with him…he came back months later with his brother to talk things over but we turned them away at the door…now it’s been years later, he is married now and has been pleasantly married for a while now, but off and on he asks his brother and bhabi about me, well now apparently he has a guilty conscience about what happened years ago and I guess he wants to apologize…well he called and told me he has something in his heart that he wants to say and he wants to talk to me in person…i’ve said yes but i dont’ know if i can forgive me…because the thing that he did affected me very badly and broke my trust so much that it has been difficult for me to trust anyone again…also I don’t know how he is going to right this wrong, i’m of the opinion that u should consider doing or something 10 times before u go through with something, it also seems a little to little and a little to late…pls. help me out…I don’t know what to do, i’d like your opinions
***soon to be EX-GIRFRIEND
CORRECTION
Its indeed hard to forgive but i read this some where.
"Allah doesn't let anyone cross heaven or hell until they are forgiven " [soul is basically hanging in the middle].
I am sure you wouldnt wana be put in a place you are being kept away from your destiny cause someone didnt forgive you. [kudnakwasta]
I learned something new recently. [Ah i am learning a lot these days lol]
Sometimes its best to forgive and keep your mouth shut. Allah sees everything he is aware of every single ache of your heart :~).
Thank Allah that your life has been saved. I can count girls on my finger tips who were told after their nikah that their husbands had girlfriends. And over months their love affairs started to bring awful sights...
I am sorry, I don't know much about you, so I presume you are happily married now. In which case, it happened years ago, so "raat gayee, baat gayee". Discuss it over with your husband, and if he has no problems, then go ahead and meet this dude and clear the air. Obviously I recommend your husband stays with you during this meeting.
If it is any comfort, I believe most people go through experiences of broken hearts and shattered trust in their lives and many of them come out of these experienes a much stronger person. You should also be one, and not allow that one bad experience to cast a shadow over your future, more permanent, relationships.
Tassavur, how are you sis 
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actually lemme pm this to you dont know y josh charh gya tha publicly ye post kerne ka :biggrin:
You can forgive him over the phone. There is no need at all for you to see him.
Do as you wish! and make sure YOU feel extermly satisfy in whatever you do. Good luck.
Re: Forgiveness
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by tassavur: *
.....I did confront him in front of her but sorry to say that he didn't say anything and I decided i did not want anything to do with him........he came back months later with his brother to talk things over but we turned them away at the door.........now it's been years later, he is married now and has been pleasantly married for a while now, but off and on he asks his brother and bhabi about me, well now apparently he has a guilty conscience about what happened years ago and I guess he wants to apologize...........
[/QUOTE]
Who knows maybe he wants to rub your nose in and tell you that he had expected that you would have not taken some supposedly jealous girlfriend's word as the fact.
Either way, why even bother, let it go. You guys have moved on with your lives, does what happened even really matter, either to you or to him?
If it does, then there is a bigger problem here.
Dear tassavur,
You're an idiot. But that guy is a bigger idiot.
Roman,
If I were with him I would be an idiot so goes to show that I'm not...........and secondly, I've decided against this meeting.........don't need to deal with the past, present and the future is more important.......
And frankly speaking he's married and I don't think he should be talking to me!!
so you never met him? and never talked to him?
I would be curious to see what his explanation was.