…even if the person isn’t sorry? you would end up holding a grudge against a person, or the person hasn’t seen their faults. what would you do (depending on the situation)?
Well it does depend on the situation. But for instance, with my mil. She is a self-proclaimed 'spoiled' woman and still acts like she is a child who the world revolves around. Her sons and husband all accept this as a trait she has and let her get away with many things. This ofcourse can cause many problems because she tends to say hurtful things without thinking. I am not someone who holds a grudge and I generally do forgive. But I never forget. I believe that you have to learn from situations. And I am learning alot about her personality/flaws/strengths. I believe in 'being the bigger person', though that is a very self-righteous saying. But you have to sacrifice your pride sometimes to keep the peace. (Especially with in-laws)
I think people who think too much of themselves tend to say, "You treated me like THAT! Well I'll show you to treat me so terribly, you'll be sorry." And that ofcourse will just escalate a bad situation. You should forgive someone even if they don't feel sorry because it is the morally right thing to do. You have to keep peace and give someone a chance. If they see your good example then perhaps next time they will follow that in their actions too. But it is totally different thing to let someone walk all over you. You can't be a total doormat.
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*Originally posted by saimanyc: *
I think people who think too much of themselves tend to say, "You treated me like THAT! Well I'll show you to treat me so terribly, you'll be sorry." And that ofcourse will just escalate a bad situation. You should forgive someone even if they don't feel sorry because it is the morally right thing to do. You have to keep peace and give someone a chance. If they see your good example then perhaps next time they will follow that in their actions too. But it is totally different thing to let someone walk all over you. You can't be a total doormat.
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I agree , i also believe in beeing the bigger person, but there are some unforgiveable things. you want to forgive but cant . I also have hard time forgetting and often ask my self if it is because´, i have`nt forgiven? I dont know.
I have also learned that, there are some persons you easly can forgive and some you cant.
So it depends on the situation, but I will be able to forgive whithout beeing asked for.
Forgive? Yeah why not. Forget? Never. If the person does it once, let it be. Twice ok fine. If they make a habit of it, i tend to shove it back in their face and make them think twice before doing it again.
You only forgive and forget in certain cases, which mainly deals with family.
same here , i have a hard way to forget things :o
I always always end up forgiving chahey koi kuch bhi kurey but no I don’t forget. Simply can’t! But I never learn, I keep giving ppl more and more chances and usually end up blamming myself for whatever goes wrong. I don’t call myself dumbo for no reason 