So many women are on the forums and many of us are married, engaged or in the prospect of getting engaged.
Some of us have been married for years and even are mothers.
I just wanted to hear your thoughts on what advice or things you would teach your future daughters (if you don’t have a daughter, then a child like your daughter). What values do you think are important to teach young girls and what are some things you as a woman have learned throughout your life that you don’t want happening to your daughter, etc.
teach them to be independent...get higher education, develop their own personality...be themselves...tell them to say "no" to parents politely if they come in your way of marriage and or education. [by marriage, i mean you have the God-given right to chose your own husband, parents must learn to respect that as well]
good question OP. i personally feel and find raising a daughter a very daunting task. its a heavy responsibility with lots of pitfalls.
education and career is a requirement for my daughter not an option.
financial independence
knowing the difference between culture and religion
strength of character and will power to challenge gender based stereotypes and expectations.
the art of compromise … contrary to popular beliefs … compromise (mutual concession) is a two way street, is not gender based and is not the same as sacrifice.
a lot of the above comes from what @Sara516 said. self esteem/confidence
teach them to be independent...get higher education, develop their own personality...be themselves...tell them to say "no" to parents politely if they come in your way of marriage and or education. [by marriage, i mean you have the God-given right to chose your own husband, parents must learn to respect that as well]
did you miss the part where the married/almost married ladies are being addressed?
Someone mentioned not imposing unfair standards and having only the daughters help with the housework and I quite agree with that. However, I don’t think having children learn to clean and look after themselves and the house is a bad idea, provided that this is expected of BOTH sons and daughters. At uni, I had classmates, both girls and guys, who couldn’t even boil a packet of instant soup because mummy had always done everything for them and never expected them to help around the house.
This is slightly different but on a similar note but I’m really not keen on this idea many people have of “oh, you just study” and not having children do anything else. At uni and later on in the workplace and in life, we often have multiple responsibilities, so I find it unrealistic to get children accustomed to only doing one thing at a time. The people I went to uni with who were raised this way really had issues coping with doing more than one thing at a time or having multiple responsibilities and that’s something I’d like to avoid.
To never use abusive language in front of them
^This. It's amazing how many people ignore this.
While taking my niece and nephew to the park, I've come across small children who swear like sailors and I wonder where they get it from...oh right, their foul mouthed parents.
sigh. Story of my life–never did any chores, never responsible for anything, didn’t learn to cook at all…I get that the intention was good, and while I’m good with cooking and cleaning now, it was hard in the beginning to learn everything from scratch, cooking moreso than cleaning. (Before anyone gets snarky–I know it doesn’t take a genius to wash dishes or do laundry or clean the toilet, but…it’s still something you gotta get used to doing)…it’s not something I’d repeat iwth my kids.
Plus, doesn’t giving kids chores and stuff give them a sense of responsibility and help build their confidence/esteem? Parents/teachers weigh in?
That’s actually so true. My dada (bless his heart) always scolded my parents for making me do chores around the house, and my mom would insist I help her in the kitchen at times when I could. I think it’s very important to be an all rounder too and not just sit and study. Yes education was super important to my parents and they always made sure my homework was done BUT knowing how to do things around the house was totally important to my mom. My MIL always raves about it now because she thinks I’m a great cook and cleaner LOL. I owe it all to my mom though, I hated it at the time, but now even my dada ji always speaks highly of how my mom raised me and my sister well. Good point.
I think you knocked off most of the things I would teach my daughter right off my list.
I completely agree with the art of compromise. So true!
Awesome points.
I'm not in either position but my cousin's flat out saying she wants her baby daughter to be more chalak. Being the nice guy hurt her and she wants her daughter to be tougher and meaner :S
