For those of you who grew up in the West...

Hangout GupShup Cafe
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Please share the stories of your visits to Pakistan over time.

  1. How did you feel about going to Pakistan?
  2. How did you feel when you first arrived?
  3. What moments/images really stuck out to you and made an impression?
  4. What surprised you most about Pakistan?
  5. What did you like most about your trips to Pakistan?
  6. What did you like least?
  7. Which regions/cities did you go to?
  8. What were the reasons for your trips?
  9. How have your feelings about visiting Pakistan evolved over time?
  10. Who initiates/initiated your visits?

Anything else you would like to share?

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Re: For those of you who grew up in the West...

Well I moved away from Pakistan when I was 9 and have absolutely no cousins or relatives here in Sydney.

  1. Going to Pakistan is always a nice relaxing holiday. Time to catch up with relatives, uncles, cousins, aunts who I spent the very early years of my childhood with.
  2. First time going back felt really weird but really good. Almost couldn't believe it I'm back. Was very happy :)
  3. Lahore's traffic. How peaceful and empty Islamabad is at night.
  4. I found out you only say 'please' when you are on the verge of begging someone to do something. I found that weird since I'm used to saying please even for the littlest things.
  5. Spending time with relatives definetly.
  6. I find the people to be a bit rude.
  7. I've been to Islamabad, Lahore and villages in between.
  8. Visit relatives, weddings etc.
  9. It's nice to go there for holidays and visiting relatives. My early childhood was spent very close to alot of my relatives so being back there is just like close family. But I don't think I could ever live there permanently. In fact I mean not to. Sydney is definetly home, atleast for now.
  10. Mum lol
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Re: For those of you who grew up in the West…

**1. How did you feel about going to Pakistan?
**Hmm I honestly don’t remember. I went many times, and I remember the basics, but I don’t remember the feelings much…I guess as a kid I was excited… we also had planned to go in the summer after I graduated high school and at that time I was extremely against the trip. Unfortunately our trip had to be delayed a few months, and from there on, I went almost every year during winter break from college, til I got married. Since I got married I’ve been back twice. My first time going there after getting married was actually really awesome. actualy I dunno whY i say that, cz there was sooooooooo much drama (me and hubby, parents and in laws, in laws and their in laws etc).

**2. How did you feel when you first arrived?
**My first time there I was 4 years old, so I don’t remember much about it…but I’m told that I hated the garmi and I was constantlya ttacked by mosquitos…and that when I went home, I was mad at my dad for making us come back (my dad and brother had stayed behind). :smiley:

**3. What moments/images really stuck out to you and made an impression?
**The smell…of everything…i don’t mean it in a bad way…like even the clothes that were in closets (all clean!) had a paritcular smell to them…when I was younger, everyone lived next door/one alley over, and would all get together for lunch or dinner… that was pretty awesome. After experiencing it for a few days I told my mom, why don’t we live here? and she said when we live here, it wouldn’t be like that… :confused: I also love how wherever you go, ppl truly are generous…even if they can’t afford much, they give something…when I went with my husband, almost every single relative gave us “salami” even though they didn’t need to.

My parents moved back to Pak a few years ago and when I went to visit them, I learned that they almost rarely ate dinner at home…they either went to one house or another (there were two homes that they always went to)…we were always welcomed, and I NEVER got the impression that they felt we were being a burden and eating their food…it also helps that my parents have no nakhray, they ate what was cooked (one of my aunts is famous for making daal 4-5x a week :hehe: ) and never really requested anything. There were two homes that they could go to, whenever they felt like it… now that was amazing.
**
4. What surprised you most about Pakistan?
how much I missed it when I left! I missed everything, but mostly my relatives! at one point I really thought I could settle down and live there…
**
5. What did you like most about your trips to Pakistan?
The shopping of course! and then the food…proper restaurants, small restaurants, street food, food street, ghar ka khana…all :smiley: but I loved how, everyone got together to eat at least one meal a day…just sitting outside and chatting..

6. What did you like least?
the politics, the drama, the cosntant fighting between me and my mom, or ppl in the family… like how one simple conversation or act was repeated a zillion times… and of course, creepy guys and girls who gave you death stares for no reason…
**
7. Which regions/cities did you go to?**
Lahore. Visited karachi briefly when I was 8 but I don’t remember much at all. When I visited after my wedding, we went to Islamabad but we didnt’ spend much time there. What I remember was that it was so peaceful there… lots of greenery, it smelled different too…
**
8. What were the reasons for your trips?**
The first time? I don’t remember. second time, whne we went to karachi, we all went together as a family…my brother ahd to go for some reason, thats’ why we went to karachi. It was my father’s first time going back to Pakistan after he had moved here (so it was 14 years!)…I don’t remember but I’m told he actually kissed the ground when we landed :hehe: Several times we went for weddings/engagements. **

  1. How have your feelings about visiting Pakistan evolved over time?
    **Yes. In college I hated it but now I’d LOVE to go back.
    **
  2. Who initiates/initiated your visits?**
    Except for the last two trips, it was always my mother who initiated. she was really attached to her family.
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Re: For those of you who grew up in the West…

I came here when I was 11, so basically I have lived half of my life in Pakistan. I visited after 8 years.

  1. First time we were visiting, I was super duper excited.

  2. As if I am an alien. I just felt disgusted by the looks/stares that I got. But when I saw some familiar faces(i.e. relatives) at the airport, it felt good! I was happy.

  3. My grandmother asked me to bring her a glass of water. She was talking to the lady who cooked our food. So I brought the other lady a glass of water as well, well it was really hot that day. She was so thankful and pleased and made so many duas for me right then and there, just for bringing her a glass of water. I still remember her smile.

  4. Not much had changed i.e. the country itself.
    Generosity of some people.

  5. THE STREET FOOD and the happy feeling. People are so happy to see you!

  6. Getting sick! :bummer: The airport staff, the ladies that do the security check, they were very rude! AND the fact that people were breaking lines to check in first and saying oh I am so and so’s relative. WHO CARES? Get back in line and wait for your turn! This was on the way back to Canada. sigh

  7. Karachi, Multan

  8. Just visiting relatives.

  9. I feel bad for the poor people. They are not given the due respect that they deserve.

  10. Parents.

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Re: For those of you who grew up in the West…

1. How did you feel about going to Pakistan?
SO excited! I hadn’t seen my cousins and family for 4 years. So was really looking forward to meeting them and my old school mates.

2. How did you feel when you first arrived?
Shocked. Everything was so different than I imagined/ remember. The airport was much cleaner than I expected. I remember it being ridiculously hot and wanting to hop into the car and telling Driver Uncle to turn on the AC.

**3. What moments/images really stuck out to you and made an impression?
**Basant. This was the first cultural tradition that I had witnessed, aside from desi melas and festivals in The States.
Driving around Lahore. Just the lights, the atmosphere, the environment, the people, the food, all of the smells, everything. Lahore during the day and Lahore at night were completely different!! Loved both of them :slight_smile:

4. What surprised you most about Pakistan?
Everything was much cleaner than I expected, but there were still soooo many flies! When we went to Islamabad, I was relieved that there wasn’t a fly in sight :cb:

5. What did you like most about your trips to Pakistan?
Spending time with my relatives and catching up with my school mates. Everyone was much older and taller than I remembered, obviously. I was shocked that they remember me :sid: and… GOL GUPPAY!!! :yummy:

6. What did you like least?
The attitudes and being made out to be a celeb because I was from “Ameeka.” The constant fear that I was going to be kidnapped or something LOL! And the creepers who undress every girl with their eyes.
I hated how people treat their naukars, mallis, chefs, cooks, drivers, etc. :mad3:
**
7. Which regions/cities did you go to?**
Lahore, Islamabad, Maree, and some army base. I don’t remember which or where it was. :bummer:

8. What were the reasons for your trips?
Visiting family, attending/ planning family weddings, Basant, & Eid.

9. How have your feelings about visiting Pakistan evolved over time?
When I was younger, I just wanted to go visit my family and friends. Then I wanted to go because I missed the freedom. But, now, sometimes I wish I lived there. Mainly because I hate missing everyone so much and missing out on so many milestones of family members over there. But I don’t think I could live there. As much as I love it, it’s nice to visit and spend time, and be able to return to your home. I feel much safer here than in Pak :frowning: And the idea of naukars and stuff doesn’t sit well with me.

10. Who initiates/initiated your visits?
First few times it was my parents, and then me and my siblings would beg for them to send us because we missed everyone. Lol … Or family in Pak asking us to come visit.

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Re: For those of you who grew up in the West...

1. How did you feel about going to Pakistan?

I loved it! Mom used to take us to Pakistan every year. We loved it. We loved riding rikshaws and taanga's.. loved dancing in the rain on the chath .. loved sleeping on the chath. I used be so excited to visit pakistan.

** 2. How did you feel when you first arrived?**

I don't even remember when the first time I went to pak was. I was probably still a little baby.
But from when I was a little older I remember the scent that hit you as soon as you got off the plane. I can't describe it .. but it's just this ... ahhh amazingggg feeling!!

** 3. What moments/images really stuck out to you and made an impression?**

Too manyyyy!!!

** 4. What surprised you most about Pakistan?**

It was different when I was a kid. Last time I went to Pak was in 09 after my shaadi before that my last visit was in 1998 when I was 9. I went with hubby to see inlaws ...it was just so different!! The world through a kid's eyes is so much better. I didn't enjoy it as much this time. We didn't even ride in the rikshaws .. BOOO!!

** 5. What did you like most about your trips to Pakistan?**

As a kid: Ding dong bubble gum. Green wali barfi. Taangas, rikshaws and riding on motorbikes with the older cousins. All the cousins and khalas!

As an adult: Liberty market in lahore. The food.

** 6. What did you like least?**

As a kid: Nothing!!
As an adult: Load shedding.

** 7. Which regions/cities did you go to?**

As a kid: Lahore, multan, khanewal, karachi, islamabad and murree

As an adult: Lahore and Islamabad.

** 8. What were the reasons for your trips?**

As a kid: Went with mom every year to visit khalas and other relatives.
As an adult: Went with hubby to visit in laws

** 9. How have your feelings about visiting Pakistan evolved over time?**

It was just so much better when I was a kid.. Pakistan has changed so much over the past 10 years it's unbelievable!!!