Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
Who cares about fitting in Pakistan anyway? It's not like it' on the leading edge of everything.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad…
LOL!! That sounds kinda adorable.
Don’t think of it as dumb. So you don’t play their silly mind games. I’d say thats a quality hard to find in a person nowadays, raised abroad or in the motherland. To be honest, I’m just amazed at the effort you’re putting in. Keep up the efforts and don’t let the haters get to you. Haters gonna hate.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
At least you are trying to speak in Urdu. Who cares if it goes wrong sometimes?! That's how you learn.
And yes, I have also had little kids asking me "what it wrong with your Urdu?" I just say, "it's not as good as my English!"
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
yeah when I DID get called out by little kids on my urdu, they were more shocked that I spoke English. My 2nd cousins kids were surprised to learn that I'm from "where they make all those english movies". All the neighbors that came to visit thought my weird American twang when speaking Urdu was adorable more than anything else. I don't think anyone really minds/cares unless you act like an obnoxious slob.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
people like my british accent too however I don't like the fact that I have it! i think i am really hard on myself.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
people like my british accent too however I don't like the fact that I have it! i think i am really hard on myself.
complain to your parents
"how dare you send me to an English school in UK with all these britishers! Why couldn't you just leave me at my Aunts and I would have been happy with my broken English and perfect Urdu!"
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
people like my british accent too however I don't like the fact that I have it! i think i am really hard on myself.
You can practise talking urdu without british accent, if it bothers you too much.
But yes, don't worry about it too much.
complain to your parents "how dare you send me to an English school in UK with all these britishers! Why couldn't you just leave me at my Aunts and I would have been happy with my broken English and perfect Urdu!"
Your comment does not make much sense.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
UFF woman! Just go shopping and eat pakoray from the pakora place and chill the ch out! Who cares if they judge you, don't you judge them and their 'perfect' urdu?
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
I think its all in your head and due to your own insecurities (I dont mean to offend).
Kids even from pakistan (especially cities) speak broken urdu, so why so much unsureness?
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
its ok to be just who you are. you dont have to try extra-hard...they'll accept you even if you wear jeans or speak in english. and the ones that do judge you are not worth the effort to try and impress.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
Your comment does not make much sense.
It was supposed to point out how ridiculous the OP sounds. She was born in the UK she speaks English fluently and is sad that she doesn't speak perfect Urdu. When we all know that Pakistanis don't really speak perfect Urdu. They always mix it with English.
and there is no way she can drop her british accent now she grew up with it and its part of her. If she wanted to sound like an FOB she should have never learned how to speak English and just hang out with Pakistanis
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
I think most of us girls who grow up outside of Pakistan face this insecurity at some point in their lives--when we constantly have heard that "girls from back home are so much better" for whatever reason (be it from our very own parents, aunties, random ppl etc)--we feel embarrassed for not being "pakistani" enough.
Most of us eventually grow out of it and learn to be comfortable with who we are and ignore the "haters"
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
^ yes... but u get that in gatherings otuside of pakistan....
ever walked into a gathering where most of the women are from back home and everyone is amazed (raed shocked) that u can speak urdu, cook, clean... and have a kid.
our community is the way it is, be it outside of pakistan or in it.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
I don't see how that is a contradiction to what I stated.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
^ and im not too sure where i said I was contradicting u... now uve confused me...
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
When you visit pakistan how does it go for you?
DO you fit right in? Do you feel like your being judged? I mean I would like to know your experiences and opinions esp with regards to extended family.
I get along with my khalas and phuppas and chaachis, but there are certain cousins who have not been good to my parents and I just cannot get on with them or respect them because they have been bad to my parents and it is awkward.
Also because I am from 'Bahar' I always try very hard to dress appropriately,speak in urdu all the time and play close attention to my tameez and also what I say. I DO feel like i am constantly being judged and I try very hard particularly so no one can say anything bad about my parents!
I don't fit right in considering I've been living in the U.A.E 18 years. I get judged quite a lot but I don't mind. LOL I get judged here too. My maternal grandparents and mamoos/khalas live here so everything is normal with them. But, with the paternal side things get rocky quite fast. I don't like my dad's side of the family except for the grandparents, because all of them are greedy people who like to talk about wealth and social status and class. It's the 21st century, people.
I'm from 'Bahar' but I dress the way I want, eat what I want and speak with what I feel comfortable with, which is English. People have been saying bad stuff about my parents from day 1 of their marriage, so me being good in front of them, won't make much of a difference :/
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
All I know is, I walk,talk & act like pure desi guy but unfortunately they call me LALLOO.
:((
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad.....
Ugh! Going to pakistan is so often a drag. No matter what we do nothing ever seems to satisfy those people. If we do anything different its because we are 'modern people' from behar, but if we do anything religious like wear a hijab to a wedding we suddenly become 'maulani'.
Before mum and dad used to make us always be respectful and our urdu was so good people had a hard time believing we were from australia, but now i just cant keep up with the superficial pleasantries.
I guess living overseas meant that we get to choose our friends and the families we hang around with. There isn't any compulsion. But in pakistan we're forced to sit in room full of back biting relatives and there is nothing you can do about it. Speaking your minds and having different opinions is such a forein and incomprehensible idea with my relatives.
And since these people literally dont give a damn about us, i've just stopped trying to fit in and approach them.
At the same time i guess its worth going back to see the few people that we do love, naani's are always the sweetest.
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad…
'Ello gov’na! Would you like a spot 'o tea?
Whenever I’ve gone to the UK there have been some accents that are just impossible to understand. Overall though, English accents are usually considered attractive, at least to people in North America.
I kind of notice the not fitting in, but it has more to do with not knowing the place, as opposed to cultural differences. Doesn’t matter though, I tend to think I’m better than most people I meet, be they from Pakistan or elsewhere 
Re: For those of you who grew up abroad…
Whenever I go back to KHI, I try to carry myself like a “local”…i don’t put on “airs” or complain about the weather, the light going out etc..it is what it is, so I just go with the flow. I think for that reason, I haven’t faced much teasing from my family/friends/in laws, because my Urdu is pretty good, and I don’t speak it with a heavy “amreeki” accent, despite being born and raised here. That being said, I know the bazaar waalay can spot me as a Westerner a mile away, so I usually keep my trap shut and let my cousins do the talking 
The only time I’ve ever been made fun of outright is at Aga Khan Hospital when I was there in 2008 with my papa. I was sitting in the office of one of the top most Oncologist in the country, trying to discuss my father’s prognosis, and this rude man was mocking my accent (which is almost non existant 
) and actually taunting me by replying back in a twisted, “Amreeki” dialect. I’m sure he thought he was being cute, but I was so offended I stood up and told him off in Urdu & English. The look on his face was priceless. He was a golf buddy of my brother in law’s, who is a big wig in the Pharma industry, and when I complained to him about the behavior, he called the good ol doc and gave him a tongue lashing I’m sure he still remembers 4 years later