Since I was brought up in Pakistan and moved here only after marriage, all my close friends (which were already pretty few) are back there.
I’ve even lost contact with them, except through FB and that also is not the same you know, buss hello hi hoti hai.
I’m kind of missing having really close friends with me right now to hang out with or share my emotions with Most girls I know here are mainly acquaintances, I’ve never made any effort to get closer to them (my fault mainly). Now I feel like I should start trying to develop better friendships and maybe try to build up my relationship with some girls here, I especially like two of them who are down-to-earth and practical females and have no airs and graces.
Any tips on how do I go about doing this. The thing is that I mostly meet them as family, you know… never all by myself. Do the married ladies on this forum who have moved to other countries/cities/states, have the same issues and challenges when it comes to friends?
yes - I am okay with acquaintances (family friends, neighbors, mom of my daughters friends, school, co workers, relatives) because just don't have time. I see my friends from school, high school and college about 3-4 times a year and that's enough for me.
I would ask one of your acquaintances friend that you like to go for lunch or something. Get to know some of them a bit better?
i moved to a new country ... thankfully my in laws had a good social circle with the right kinda ppl... about 4 very close families with lots of bahus and daughters... i thought to myself ok , this is where my new home is and where i have to live and im gonna live it up.... i met them all a few times in a family setting at dawats etc.... then i picked and chose the ones i liked... and i started to have all girl parties... just tea or coffee or pot luck... they also saw that i was trying to make an effort and started to invite me to their homes either alone or with husband for couple only parties...
so do something like that... start off by doing one on one... that is very important... otehrwise, if you invite 2 girls that are already friends, they will usually just start chatting to each other and you will sit and stare like an owl. so one on one... when you have been through the ones you want to know better... do a tea party etc.... find out common grounds and chat it up on that...
once i was done with the women only... i realized you can never have great friendship if you treat it like you only care bout the woman... so get your hsuband involved and invite their husbands too.. to a just couple dawat.. no buddy thudday in laws/parents allowed!
its not easy but its not hard either.. as long as the ppl are right.... its worth it!
good luck!
oh and dont restrict yourself to just friends from teh social circle... if your husband has parties where colleagues invite each other.. go with him... its good to have a variety of friends .. the housewives.. and the working women... keeps your mind very englightened. :D
Oh I have very good friends, as couples and all… we all get together, we chat, we laugh… I just don’t have those close friends you know, with whom you can share all your thoughts and can just go over to their house whenever I want, and just lounge there or hang out with when I’m bored… the kind of friends you make when you’re teenagers… you know, friends for life.
I am missing that so much right now I wonder if its the hormones.
with whom you can share all your thoughts and can just go over to their house whenever I want, and just lounge there or hang out with when I'm bored..... the kind of friends you make when you're teenagers... you know, friends for life.
I laughed so hard when I read this. Hon you need a babysitter and time machine
Most girls I know here are mainly acquaintances, I’ve never made any effort to get closer to them (my fault mainly). Now I feel like I should start trying to develop better friendships and maybe try to build up my relationship with some girls here, I especially like two of them who are down-to-earth and practical females and have no airs and graces.
