Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
Are you an independent woman?
Ahahahaha! To quote a facebook group, 'yeh tu Lmao hogaya'.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I grew up in Pakistan where till the day I got my Master's degree all my expenses were paid by my parents and elder brothers , so I never had any inhibitions about asking them for money. Even my first car back home in Pakistan was bought by my elder brother.
So we have this bond where when his son needed a car I bought it for him.
Family member takes care of family what is so shameful about it ? Or maybe in the culture where I come from and where I have my roots from this is not a big deal.
My wife does not work , I give her some pocket money and buy her anything she wants . We have joint accounts and credit cards , she has never bought anything without consulting with me. Alhumdulillah her needs and wants are not unreasonable ever where we will have any arughments about them.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I felt extremely awkward asking my husband for money initially. He would get annoyed so he got me a separate debit card to use and slowly but surely I got used to it. Now it doesn’t matter if I am using his money or mine. It’s all the same. It takes time to adjust but you do eventually lose the “ego” or whatever it is that we should call it. 
It feels great though really..not depending on someone but knowing that there’s another person keeping your spending in check.
I ask my hubby if I can buy something and it’s completely unneeded. That’s the greatest thing about sharing life with someone special, whatever is his belongs to you and whatever is yours belong to him. It’s really not depending on someone if you get what I mean
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
Kissi se mangne ki kya zarorat, Q aap ke haan Her masjid ke bahir "Chanda braey tamir" ka dabha nahi rakha hota? it's just like a personal ATM .... Aysh karain or khush rahein.
Ps.
Agar Mian biwi aik dosray se Khuch mangte Howe jijhak mehsoos karain, to hanoz dilhi door ast.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
So I am sure all of us have been working full time one time or another, and we all know how hard it can be when you are suddenly out of work - being made redundant or perhaps starting a family etc.
How do you feel about having to rely on others - for example having started a new job, my boss was meant to pay me. Failing to do so this week, she told me it should be in my account next week, I was extremely over-drawn at which point my mother swooped in and gave me money, I felt awful as a consequence. As this money was meant to go for house things - i do normally contribute when I am working and it gives me a feeling of independance.
Has anyone else felt like this before? or is it just me. I remember a friend of mine who got married and her husband doesn't allow her to work, she has ask him for 5 pounds sometimes just to go to the local shop, this was a girl who is outgoing and independant, and she said she felt very ashamed in doing this.
I can understand your feelings as i have been in the same situation since few years. It is depressing for me to ask for money from my parents. but i feel bad because of other reasons, like my father is retired and now working as a visiting faculty so he doesn't have fixed amount of income now and he is only earner in our house. Another reason is that i am only looser in my house, my elder sisters were independent women before marriage and they were earning good amount of money. but still when i was working i occasionally ask for money from my father like for Eid clothes and all. But if my father had permanent job or he was a rich man then i wouldn't feel ashamed to ask for money from him either i was working or not.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
Agree with and can relate to Mirch's post 100 %!
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I can understand for someone who has been financially independent it’s not easy to be dependent on somebody else’s money even if it be your parents/spouse. However then don’t you think you might as well earn yourself and support your expenses?! How does by not just having to ask him but still using his money makes it any less awkward? 
.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
With my parents I feel odd, I generally always have some money to fall back on in case I have none coming in so I hardly ever ask them. It's cool with my younger sister though, we take each other things without asking a lot of the times.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
not ashamed at all... i take money from his wallet if i see it there... and i take his card and use it when i feel like it :D
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
Haww well thank you, I definitely deserve a hug!
Bwahahaha! Now I want to join this group!
^ it was a typo people crosses arms and pouts
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I think my husband may feel awkward me for any of the money he earns. 
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I don't think I've asked anyone for money since I first got paid, before that ofcourse I've had to rely on mama. But now I try to keep a little money just in case of those rainy days, whilst handing some over to mum to help with expenses around the house.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
What's with this money-in-the-drawer stuff? I'd like to introduce you guys to the joint chequing account lol.
Yes it can feel weird asking for money, or help, but everyone needs it sometimes. Especially nowadays. More and more college graduates have to live with their parents initially because the cost of living is higher.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
Although it feel great to be independent but what’s shameful in asking family member (parents, siblings etc) for help when there is a genuine need? What is family for? Are’t family members supposed to help each other during thick and thin?
As far as spouse is concerned, we have joint account and each have our own debt card (+ couple of CC) so she does not have to ask BUT SHE STILL ASK ME 
“xxxx suneen, X$ hoon gai aap k paass tu dai deen, Car nikaloo garage sai, change karoo…aab main nahi ja rahi ATM”
Aur yee pochna woochna tu eik bahana hai. Most of the time she knows that I have cash in wallet and thats why she ask 
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I always consider myself as an independent women, but the truth is I just independent at some point, every one got her broken point, and no one can be live alone.
As for me, I need love, support and encourage form lovers, family, work.
So as everyone, no matter how independent you are, you still need others to expel lonely, and live with courage.
Re: For the Independent women - Depending on others?
I grew up in Pakistan where till the day I got my Master's degree all my expenses were paid by my parents and elder brothers , so I never had any inhibitions about asking them for money. Even my first car back home in Pakistan was bought by my elder brother. So we have this bond where when his son needed a car I bought it for him. Family member takes care of family what is so shameful about it ? Or maybe in the culture where I come from and where I have my roots from this is not a big deal. My wife does not work , I give her some pocket money and buy her anything she wants . We have joint accounts and credit cards , she has never bought anything without consulting with me. Alhumdulillah her needs and wants are not unreasonable ever where we will have any arughments about them.
I grow up with similar culture, but things change as I grown up.
Without financial independent at some point got less respect and free. I know there no wrong or right, it's just culture, but to a human got basic feeling, being a women, I wish got respect and love same as men does.
just share my point of view, still there no right and wrong.