Re: For the Guppans....
Cheating on your husband and seeking forgiveness from God, is that your idea of being faithful?
is it that easy to raise your hands and ask for forgiveness????
Re: For the Guppans....
Ok, now I remember why I was irked by the mention of this hadith in this context. A past thread detailed a woman's discovery of her husband's pre-marital sexual history - she was devastated b/c he had lied to her and portrayed himself as something he was not. Surprisingly, most posters were telling her to quit acting like she'd never made a mistake in life, that "past is past," to "get over it," and to "stop being ungrateful" because he wasn't doing any of that now. Several people defended his right to lie, quoting the "do not reveal your sins" hadith.
Whichever way you twist it, no hadith can justify lies or omissions that are convenient to you but relevant to others. Is it not selfish to harp on about one's own guilt (if there is any), one's own shame, one's own desire to move on, one's own decision to suddenly make a marriage work? Shouldn't the wronged party be given a say in where the marriage should go after vows have been violated, or is that the cheater's prerogative? How does it suddenly become about the offender and her/his peace of mind? What about the unsuspecting party whose trust and dignity has been shattered behind his/her back? Trust was broken, does the other party not deserve to know whether or not you tell? Boggles the mind.
Re: For the Guppans....
I'm glad my understanding of religion in this regard is correct. Thank you for sharing
Just to quickly summarize what I understood from different people.
Disclosing this sin means disaster for the lives of individuals, children and families for years to come. Evil is spread quickly by sharing sins with others. Better to wash it through repentance and with a determination of never repeating it.
One should never disclose a sin (even if pregnancy takes place through it) and try to live with it (that itself is a punishment in a way) by repenting (sincerely crying with remorse in front of Allah swt when alone at night by recalling the intensity of the disobedience that one has done towards Allah). Also try to compensate this injustice towards one's spouse by serving one's spouse to the extent possible even if it is at the cost of sacrificing ones personal luxuries/comfort/hobbies. Giving up one's own rights for him/her, making efforts and searching opportunities to make their life better even though if one has to make sacrifices of ones own time/money...etc. for that. Pray a lot in front of Allah (swt) to bless one's spouse with more blessings in return for the injustice that one has done to him/her. Whenever one's spouse misbehaves or becomes ignorant towards his rights, he should recall his sin (towards her), that would help him in remaining patient and forgiving.
Sins are of many types, and the divine decisions about the person's this life and hereafter takes place on the basis of his/her *intentions. *Unintentionally being trapped in a tempting situation is different than running around like a dog in search of opportunities for extra-marital affairs. The later can't deceive his LORD so he better realize that Allah (swt) is aware of each and every bit of dirty feeling that rise in the core of his heart and every impure thought that is going through his mind.
Re: For the Guppans....
when u r cheating your spouse usually know there is something going on.....yeah your spouse do deserve to know but whats the point?
..... forgiving and moving on with the same person is usually not easy for everyone ...... i hate to say but i would rather not hear his confession or rather affirmations of my suspicions.. to me it would be more destructive to know