As new parent, the first month is the hardest as someone mentioned so if you have any family around you, you need to let them help you. Parenthood is exhausting and to be a good parent its okay to have someone watch your child while you take a nap. Ive seen a few desi ladies who have family around but they wear themselves out because they don't want their child with anyone else. Mostly because bacha kisi aur se attach na hogaye wali mentality. Pleaseeee take care of yourself so u can take care of the tiny human you are responsible for. If u live alone, when the baby sleeps, sleep!! Laundry wagera can be done after 45mins.
Also, someone gave me this wonderful advice that after 4 months u do not need to feed them ever four hour. So start increasing the time lapse between each feeding so after a week or two of him turning 4 months, he is getting uninterrupted eight hours of sleep. I know a few ladies who felt guilty skipping the 4am feeding and the pattern was set and now their 1.5 year old baby wants that feeding. The hardest lesson I learned was that i needed to let go of guilt. Every parents goes thru a million diff guilt trips and doubts but its all because of the unconditional love u have for the tuny bean and your body plays horrible tricks on you when its sleep deprived.
I hope I can read all of this once the new baby gets here InshAllah.
Main thing is to remain calm and be patient, every mother is a first time mother to the new baby. My first was different and is going to be different from my second, I need to re-learn parenting that is specific to the new baby.
And being scared is once again a feeling that envelopes you, but second time fathers are more relaxed and not on their toes like they were the first time so be prepared to have a full plate.
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
Is there anything wrong with swaddling? I thought it was a good thing.
^Adding to the above please please don't panic, hate yourself or blame yourself if you can not breast feed for the time period you thought you wanted to.
Understand and know that breastfeeding is hard work for babies, their jaw gets a lot of exercise and that does tire them out, while feeding from a bottle is easier and not much hard work. Keep your circumstances, situations in mind. Not every woman can breastfeed but every woman has the ability of being a great mother.
And one wonderful piece of advice :** Do what works for you and your baby. IF your baby is peaceful because they are swaddled, swaddle them. IF you are being criticized by others for your choices take some time away. Nothing adds to the frustrations of a new mother than someone telling them they are doing it wrong and that they are a failure. So please do not listen to all the negative things that come your way. **
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
^it depends on the baby..he wuld do whatever it took to get out of it!!!the only time he cried was when we swaddled him... no wonder I find him all over the crib now.. he needed to move his limbs while asleep!
he was otherwise a very happy and peaceful baby mashaAllah so I had no issues with not swaddling him.. even htough everyone told me to do so!!my best advice will be to listen to your baby.. he/she knows exactly what they want.. they are the boss!!!
I think automne meant that for other things not necessarily just or swaddling!
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
*read n learn everything about labor and delivery(e.g normal delivery,c-section,early labor,induction,epidural,breathing techniques,recovery tips etc).....
watch videos on youtube and also educate urself about taking care of baby(e.g immunizations,jaundice,how to give bath n massage,colic etc) n Specially Breastfeeding.....you wont get enough time afterwards....
*get urself some comfortable and lose outfits or get them stitched from tailor because you wont be wearing your pre-pregnancy clothes for atleast 2months after delivery....
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
It is pretty easy to blame yourself for every little baby issue, especially if you are a new mom. It is pretty easy for others to be hard on new moms and for us too. Remember both you and the baby are trying to adapt the changes, little things will happen, he will cry and you wont understand why, breast feeding will be challanging...difficulty with latching does not mean that you are not producingmilk, it means you need help with it. If family cant help, ask a professional. You will get depressed, you will cry, it is okay, dont hold your emotions in. Communicate with your partner, it is okay to cry it out infront of him, it will help you feel relaxed. Mostly when a baby is born, people forget about the mother and focus is only on the baby. Take care of yourself, dont expect others to do that, if you have your family helping you, take the help. Enjoy your baby, they grow up pretty fast. :)
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
I have a question. When is it safe to take a new born out and about like say... to the mall? i was under the impression if the baby is covered and dressed appropriately its ok to go out with him like once a week or so. but my husband thinks differently. I've had a rough pregnancy and have been stuck at home mostly and i was hoping to go out with the baby and the husband once he's here, and i didn't want to wait 2-3 months before i did so. it will drive me nuts if i have to stay at home anymore. how long did you new parents wait before you started taking the baby out?
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
i've seen ladies with one month old babies out in the market or restaurants. So, i guess you just have to be very careful if its winter, and you can have fun with your baby in the mall or on the walking track. May Allah bless you and the baby
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
I think I took mine out to the mall at 2-3 weeks as well..but it was quick and very much needed!
I was more concerned about germs etc than anything else.. I didnt want anyone to goga over him and sneeze :D
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
we took the baby to clinic couple times in the 2nd week, eid prayers, lunch 3rd week, now he goes every where we go, grocery shopping, dining out, mall... actually every afternoon, i put him in his stroller and we walk to the grocery strore to buy some fresh vegetables for dinner. he loves looking at vibrant colors and at all the things around him. he is almost 7 and a 1/2 week old. mashAllah
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
here is a cute article
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
so i have to go abroad for a research trip, which i cant miss. i am due arnd in mid December and i have to go in beginning of feb. and i sure am worried, will it be okay to travel for like 8 hours by plane with a 1.5 months baby?
and i just hope i do well with the research...
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
^it would be fine i guess...baby will be sleeping most of the time and i hope the staff would be cooperative inshaAllah!
Re: For new moms and dads!!!
for new moms:
*keep the baby's head n back straight while feeding....
*seek help if you find it difficult to breastfeed/bottlefeed....
*keep diapers,wipes,napkins,rash cream as close to the baby(and yourself) as possible....
*similarly keep all the bathing essentials close to tub/chair and arranged nicely so that you can grab them easily n dont have to prepare for bath again n again...
*keep the room as dimly lit as possible,when baby will sleep you' should sleep with her too...
*it is ok to take a walk outside,read a book or take a nap while your baby is with dad or other relative n dont feel guilty about it...
*you cannot go on schedule or a timetable of your newborn baby's sleep,diaper-change n then your own task....do not follow the clock...
*always keep an extra outfit,diapers,wipes,bib,ziploc bags,washcloth,napkins ready in your diaper bag
*for those moms who will not have anyone to help around....dont get upset if you cant find time to clean the house or serve the guests...your baby is your priority...
*last but not least: visit gupshup for 30mins or an hour n seek help if you want or enjoy some time for yourself when your baby is asleep:D