For new moms and dads!!!

akmoti · December 29, 2011, 10:01am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

automne77......how did u freeze paratha's?
and what desserts did u freeze?

my mom isnt coming unfortunately so i will be all alone n i'm sooo much worried about cooking....

automne77 · December 29, 2011, 7:48pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

I made ras malai, banana nut muffins, a lot of desserts by Dorie Greenspan are freezable and her desserts are easy to make as well. I also made brownies (my hubby loves meetha so I made all this in my nesting phase)

I rolled out parathas and then used wax paper between parathas and put them in the freezer. When they froze I would just separate them and put them in large ziploc bags.

I froze yakhni in ziploc bags as well (it takes less space).
Make sure u drink milk with haldi and nuts, add a spoon of ghee. It is recommended for the energy you have lost. I didn't eat panjeeri just drank this milk drink for 2 weeks once a day.

akmoti · December 30, 2011, 7:54am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

^thankyou sooo much! may Allah bless u all with loadz of happiness ameen!!
i got all the stuff yesterday...will start preparing now..

NS2 · December 30, 2011, 11:02pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

Love your advices..i just feel so lost..iv started my third trimester and i havent started my shopping yet..pls advice what should i buy starting from clothes to creams and whatever else there is to shop..

rabia3983 · December 31, 2011, 8:14am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

^ babycenter.com has great list for what to buy for the first year. That's what I used and it was pretty good.

NS2 · December 31, 2011, 8:40am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

Oh thank u I'll check it out..
anyone from Karachi here who has recently done some shopping for newborns? i want to know which are other good places to shop other than zubaidas and mothercare

somegroovychick · December 31, 2011, 9:43am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

automne! girl after my own heart- i LOVE dorie greenspan!! i know exactly what dessert we'll be having for dinner when you come over ;)

akmoti · January 2, 2012, 4:31am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

2 more questions....
as i'm in middles east so.......1)what should be the suitable room temperature for newborn baby?
2)how many times a week should i give bath to my newborn baby?
weather is a bit cold nowadays but i'm not sure what type of weather will be in feb/march.....
baby is arriving in end of jan inshaAllah!

akmoti · January 6, 2012, 5:04pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

i think i have asked really silly questions lolz

automne77 · January 7, 2012, 7:17am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

Akmoti, your questions are not silly.

For temperature my son was in the Middle east during summers so I kept him away from direct cold air of the AC, and also he was also swaddled so I didn't put too many clothes on him. I used to check him to see if his face was not too cold and so on.

There was a tip from a nurse and it was that the rule to remember is that your child should have one more layer than you. Also you should check the back of the baby if you are in a hot place, babies should not be sweating.

Usually when my son was hot as an infant his back of the neck would be a little wet and that was my signal that he was too hot so I would take off one layer or something.

Also remembered one more thing :

*To check the temp of the water, put your elbow in. It is the best way to check water's heat or coolness to see if it is appropriate for baby.
*

I used to give bath to baby every other day, but we washed everytime he peed or pooed. (except when he was circumcised) and if it was cold I would put the heater on in the room, warm it and bring baby back and also apply baby vaseline on the skin so it is not dried out.

During summers I used to have fan on slow (NO ac in the room) and once baby was comfortable only then would put the AC on.

akmoti · January 8, 2012, 5:17am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

^thanx aload!!!!m sooo nervous :/ as am all alone i hope i will take good care of my baby inshaAllah!

automne77 · January 8, 2012, 7:08am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

No probs, you can come here for help and support. Pray for yourself that you are healthy and your baby is healthy rest everything works out inshAllah

vaqarkhan · January 19, 2012, 6:28am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

a xillion thanks to the thread starter and to all those who contributed, my wife loved it, and i got some tips too, thanks!

Gemini_the_Great · January 24, 2012, 5:37pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

Just read this blog and thought I will share…she shares the trials and troubles of bf but the benefits for the baby keeps you going! so be prepared, dont give in.. you can do it.. I do supplement with formula but like she said its not a poison!!!

I’ve always been strong in my belief that breastfeeding was right for me. Everything I read about it, especially what I’ve read about all the incredible benefits, and just knowing that nature’s way is infinitely complex and irreplaceable are really the reasons why I chose to nurse. I also have a firm belief that researchers only know the tip of the iceberg in terms of how important it is for mother’s and baby’s health . I nursed each of my children for a little more than a year.

Was it easy and fun and did I love every minute of it? Heck no. I didn’t think so! It hurt so bad at first with each child, so much so that I would keep a washcloth near to bite down on in the first weeks. My boobs got HUGE…sometime’s double DD’s, I could never find shirts that fit me, or didn’t make me look like Pamela Anderson, and in the summer it was sweaty and hot, and sometimes totally inconvenient. I felt tied down for sure, because I had to watch the clock like crazy because baby boys are hungry little pumpkins and cry for food every 2 hours and for God’s sake is it too much to ask to just run by myself to Target without my husband calling and say “he’s crying and hungry come home quick”?

If you ever have had a mastitis (a breast infection) let me tell you…the best way to describe it is using the phrase “knocking on death’s door”, because really you pray to be taken to another place…bad or good, you don’t care.

My last two babies had lactose issues and I had to limit my diet so much…no pizza, my favorite!

I think the hardest thing for me was that I would NOT lose those last 10 pregnancy pounds! I hear all these celebrities saying they got so thin afterwards and attribute it to nursing, and I think for some girls it must work that way, but for some of us, I think it’s the opposite. There was NO way those 10 extra pregnancy pounds were coming off until the baby was completely weaned. It’s not fun feeling fat for an entire year after being pregnant for 9 months especially when most of your friends are getting so post baby skinny and wearing cute clothes!

I’m telling you this not to discourage you, but because I don’t want to paint a picture that it was all butterflies and rainbows for me because it wasn’t! I had a million excuses to stop, and I guess I felt so strongly that it was worth all of these inconveniences and hurdles and straight out pain because of the life long, super huge list of benefits for my child. I began to think of it as the most incredible gift I could give my children and I only had a once in a lifetime chance, that first year of life, to give it to them.

With my first two, I considered formula poison and they never had a drop. I would try off and on to pump and never got more than a couple ounces and what a pain!

Here’s a now funny story of my turning point in the silly “formula is poison” thinking:

When Matthew my third was born, a friend lent me one of those great expensive breast pumps. I thought it was an answer to my pumping problem and was so excited to try it. My cheap-pump attempts yielded an ounce or two no matter how much I tried. I dreamt of a dinner out with my husband or maybe even a movie with a friend, without the hassle of pumping for days for one measly bottle.

So the day I tried the pump, I waited till the baby was napping, gave my older two lunch in the kitchen (what cuties sitting at the little table by the window together!), and ran upstairs to get my 6 ounce bottle. After all the logistics and planning I came away with about 3 ounces…still I was overjoyed. I ran down to the kitchen, set the bottle on the counter, ran up to get the parts to clean and put things away, came back down…no bottle in sight. I went back up, looked, came back down, looked. What the heck did I do with all that work? I said out loud, “Where the heck did I set that milk?” Little Isaac said, “The milk on the counter? We shared it! It was so good! Can you buy more?”

I sat down on the kitchen floor and cried. I have to admit, I think I even scolded them. I know, how awful of me, but I just broke down. All that work for nothing! All my dreams dashed and all that pressure back again! What was I going to do?

I vowed to never pump again then and there. It seems to work for everyone but it didn’t for me. It stressed me out, frustrated me, messed with my milk supply and I felt, was just so incredibly inconvenient.

I went out and bought formula. First I tried some free sample I had, and my sweet little best baby Matthew, fussed and cried for hours. Well, that made me feel awful but then a friend told me about a formula that was thinner and lactose free (Carnation Good Start) and I let Jeff feed him a bottle one evening when I ran out to grocery shop.

From then on, with Matthew and Andrew and Patrick I have used formula when I needed too after about 3 months, and it made breastfeeding SO much more enjoyable. I could go to my older kid’s soccer games and not have to nurse in the freezing cold. I could bring a back-up bottle in the car if it was the baby’s feeding time exactly at the same time I had to pick a sibling up across town. I could get a couple hours to myself and not come home to a stressed out husband who was helpless with a fussy baby. It took an incredible weight off my shoulder to have a back up plan and we were all better for it. Because I was still nursing, I felt like they continued to get all those benefits.

Here’s some tips:

Read, read, read. I would recommend Dr. Sears’ book on breastfeeding, but I’m sure there are so many out now that are great. You have to know what to expect…you have to have the knowledge yourself, and not rely on your pediatrician, your mother, or your sister-in-law. Not that they don’t have great advice, but some of it might be wrong and you need to know the facts.

Boys are hungry. Every two hours and that two hours begins at the start of nursing! This will slow down as they get older for sure but be prepared for a lot of feeding time.

Learn how to nurse in bed, laying on your side. God Almighty, I’d be dead of sleep deprivation if I didn’t do this. I thank a sweet nurse at the hospital with my first baby who taught me the importance of learning that little trick.

Remember it only gets easier! So many moms stop at 4 or 5 months and once they start solids at 6 or 7 months, the feedings really ease up and become so predictable. Don’t stop right before it gets easy!

Keep a schedule of nursings. Not so you can keep the baby on a strict schedule, but so you feel some order and predictability to your life. Those are two words that I thrive on, and if I find myself not keeping track it feels like I’m a fish swimming upstream. Just by writing down what time I started nursing, I knew what to anticipate and could predict a little rhythm to my days.

I know that it is an adjustment for older siblings, but I really felt like “tough”. They got the “gift” and they were not going to deprive their younger sibling of the same! That’s part of growing up. Have a stash of special, different, even new little toys and books and get them situated and busy before you start. I think because I just didn’t do the “poor guy” act and because I always said “our baby” and included them in every part of the care I didn’t have to deal with much jealousy. I let them pick out the baby’s clothes, put on the diaper, and gave them TONS of compliments on how great they were taking care of the baby. They have to feel included, not excluded, and if you feel sorry for them, trust me, they know it, and it gives them the feeling that they should feel sorry for themselves.

On frustrating days, remind yourself of the benefits. Look up 100 reasons to breastfeed, and get a little boost of encouragement! I know it was really hard for me sometimes when I felt fat, and frumpy and I was the only one who had to leave book club early.

Be very very careful of what medication you take. Honestly, I don’t trust anything. I know so many girls take the pill, and there are many so-called “safe” prescriptions, but I am always very very wary of that. Everything you eat and drink gets into your breast milk and I really think that very little research has been done on the long term effects of some of these medications. Most medications, after all, change your body chemistry and your baby’s too! That could be scary to a developing brain!

Almost every problem in surmountable…sore nipples, low milk supply, latching on issues. There are SO many people who will be willing to help you now! It wasn’t like this always, so take advantage of it.

Pacifiers are a nursing mother’s best friend. Yes, in the beginning be careful to not use a pacifier in place of nursing when they are hungry or you will mess with your milk supply, but once you get going, unless you don’t mind being a human pacifier, use one.

Growth spurts are real and lead to massive feeding frenzies. I swear one day I nursed one of my little boys it seemed like ALL day. Crazy. This is how they regulate your milk supply and when they are growing so fast their needs change.

If you do anything at all, buy a good nursing bra. Especially if you are like me and get Pamela boobs and don’t appreciate the added weight, pain and cleavage. I have used the Leading Lady brand that I found on-line, and keep some Target cheapies for night-time. A good nursing bra can change your life!

Make it work for you. I was so afraid of supplementing, thinking it would just be the end of nursing for me because of nipple confusion or milk supply issues. It worked great, (I think because I started after 3 months), and it really was one of the reasons I was able to nurse my last 3 babies for a year successfully. I really didn’t want to have to nurse at an 8th grade boy’s basketball game, with my toddler running amok! That occasional bottle of formula saved my sanity. By easing up a bit and not being so extreme, it extended my nursing time, and relieved me of a huge amount of stress in the end.

One year is short in the grand scheme of things. I told myself that often. Nature’s way is incredibly complex…you are supposed to feel tied down, you are supposed to be close to your baby and give him eye contact every two hours, you are supposed to be skin to skin, and sit down a lot. It’s more than just about antibodies.

No matter what, be confident in whatever your choices are as a mother. Just because your mother didn’t nurse, doesn’t mean you can’t either. Just because your friends might think you are crazy, doesn’t mean you should question yourself. Don’t feel guilty about saying no to something because you have a newborn who needs you for it’s food supply.

Clover Lane: My Thoughts on Breastfeeding

automne77 · February 2, 2012, 4:09am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

^Adding to the above please please don't panic, hate yourself or blame yourself if you can not breast feed for the time period you thought you wanted to.

Understand and know that breastfeeding is hard work for babies, their jaw gets a lot of exercise and that does tire them out, while feeding from a bottle is easier and not much hard work. Keep your circumstances, situations in mind. Not every woman can breastfeed but every woman has the ability of being a great mother.

And one wonderful piece of advice :** Do what works for you and your baby. IF your baby is peaceful because they are swaddled, swaddle them. IF you are being criticized by others for your choices take some time away. Nothing adds to the frustrations of a new mother than someone telling them they are doing it wrong and that they are a failure. So please do not listen to all the negative things that come your way. **

sarad · February 10, 2012, 3:45pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

I got engorged so many times and it is very painful. I was afraid of using pump in case I increase my supply and cause more engorgement but I was wrong.
The best thing I discovered for engorgement was to stand in a hot shower with massage mode. It hurst initially but if you stand for 10 mins and then pump or feed the baby, the engorgement goes away quickly.

TS · February 16, 2012, 4:38pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

Let the baby sleep with you.

That way when the baby is hungry he/she has easy access to food and you don't have to deal with a wailing baby, getting up and preparing a bottle when you are dead tired. Heck, you can even sleep through it and the baby will go back to sleep also when it is done. No fuss.

akmoti · February 18, 2012, 1:12am

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

automne77:

^Adding to the above please please don't panic, hate yourself or blame yourself if you can not breast feed for the time period you thought you wanted to.

Understand and know that breastfeeding is hard work for babies, their jaw gets a lot of exercise and that does tire them out, while feeding from a bottle is easier and not much hard work. Keep your circumstances, situations in mind. Not every woman can breastfeed but every woman has the ability of being a great mother.

And one wonderful piece of advice :** Do what works for you and your baby. IF your baby is peaceful because they are swaddled, swaddle them. IF you are being criticized by others for your choices take some time away. Nothing adds to the frustrations of a new mother than someone telling them they are doing it wrong and that they are a failure. So please do not listen to all the negative things that come your way. **

i also went through the BF problem but patience and not to panic is the only solution...
oats are also very good for quick production of Bmilk...
n yes i get soooo frustrated sometimes with so many people telling me to do this do that why have u done this?r u mad?lol
maybe a haircut or manicure/pedicure would change my mood :(hmmmm....

Lusi · February 18, 2012, 10:42pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

isn't that dangerous? I have heard of some scary stories of babies dying from mom falling asleep during the feed.

sarad · February 20, 2012, 3:36pm

Re: For new moms and dads!!!

I am not sure how dangerous it is and initially I was very scared that we may roll on the baby but I have done this with both my children and have had no problem Alhamdulillah.
I find it to be convenient for me. I work and this way I do not have to get up, pick the baby up from the crib, feed the baby and put back in the crib.

But this is what has worked for me so I can only talk about my personal experience.
Also after having kids for some reason I do not have a very deep sleep anymore and we have a king size bed so we have more space.