For Mom...

[redidentity]

Re: For Mom…

@tanzansenzaki

First you say meri maan, then you say teri maan, aap ki aur kisi aur ki maan. Is the dedication to two mothers? Somehow in this short poem, two mothers do not seem to fit together unless you are comparing them, and that I do not believe is the purpose of your poem. So what have you to say? I hope you can take this crit and not ban anyone who is fair and makes constructive criticism here. Even reading your poem with the appended note does not make it a poem to be reckoned with except the rhyme.

PS: Please excuse typos.

Dear tanzan, ager aap ghor se parho tou yahan sirf aik he maan ka zikr hai.. last line main jo TERI MAAN hai, wo third person (Bala-ain) Amal se keh raha hai k TERI MAAN tujhe tanha nahi honay deti..

I hope it is klear now..