How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 percent. It’s called “Wedding Cake.”
In the beginning God created the Earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, “I haven’t eaten anything for days.”
She looked at him and said, “God, I wish I had your willpower.”