I thought she was asking how your husband can get you into the mood, when your not in the mood for some lovin.
SO my answer was foreplay.
but i got confused after stoppits post!
egads. i dunno what you consider foreplay but if the lady ain't in the mood for lovin how is the foreplay gonna materialise?? GET OFF, I HAVE A HEADACHE etc etc
i think the poster is basically guys men = horny 100% of the time (not true btw), so what can one do to ensure the lady feels that way more often?
Milly has kindly shared for us what works for her.
If not money then you're wife needs to feel loved and stress-free. Who's gonna be up for going to all that effort when you have to cook and clean etc. Hubby needs to chip in to make sure wifey has time to relax and pamper herself plus all that being romantic garbage. Happy, relaxed wife will more likely to be in the mood, provinding she's not turned off by the size of that belly.
I'm writing this question in this thread, because I want only females to view this. We should have a ladies ONLY section too. Anyways, I'm not trying to sound pervy or anything, but this is a question that I was asked, and have to give the reply. **
We all know that men have a huge desire for relations with their wife a LOT. Like, there desire for it, is like the thirst for water. But we women, don't always feel that way or in the mood to do it as often as them. So what are some ways that men can't women into the "mood?" even though they weren't into the mood? **
Like I said earlier, this is a genuine question, not one I'm asking just for fun. Your replies will be helpful inshallah.
Jazakallah.
Incorrect generalization and assumptions based on stereotypes and misconceptions abt women's morality and sexuality.
Incorrect generalization and assumptions based on stereotypes and misconceptions abt women's morality and sexuality.
Totally agree with you there, Sara. This is such a loaded question that I doubt there's a one-size-fits-all answer to it. Assuming that the husband and wife love each other, have a healthy relationship and have a good understanding between them, intimacy won't feel like a burden. It's such an old-fashioned mentality to think of "desire" as something only men have. Women enjoy it as much as men do, if not more. It's only when we're brainwashed by our culture that it becomes scary, abnormal or forbidden. It's normal for there to be times when either partner may not be "in the mood" (because of various issues like stress, tiredness, illness) and it's completely okay to say that you really can't do anything that day. But at the same time, even when you aren't in the mood, but you go for it anyways to make your partner happy, chances are you end up enjoying it as well. The bottom line is be open to your partner, be loving and giving, and don't overthink it, and the rest pretty much falls into place.
Raatkirani - is absolutely right... it is a misconception or maybe the way the culture tells women they should be...but actually women have desire and passion too...in fact according to their cycle when they ovulate, they are the most wanting....the thing is that men need to remember to fulfill the women needs, because it does take them longer to enjoy and this does require patience, and the men who are patient and take the time to give their wives equal pleasure, find that their wives are more compliant to their needs too.
Also it is good to think of different and new ways to keep the excitement alive....because after the beginning of the marriage, it all seems to become routine, and loses much of its charm and excitement....
And after kids, forget it, life seems to get into a rut...but there are ways to spice it up...set up date nights...do romantic stuff for the wives, bring them flowers for no special occassion, just to show your love...send text msg saying i love you...these are just some ideas i thought might share to help you.
I think this is a difficult question and every women is different but every women likes to be nurtured and cared for so it's her husband's job to understand what makes her feel loved by him. In our example we are both very busy now so we do dinners for both of us or sometimes I try to do a movie night and just little fun to get us both relaxed for each other. Hope this helps :)
