In many marriages, mom is the caretaker of home and kids, dad is the income earner. This is a nice situation but also one that needs care to keep things running happily.
Many times, dads dont realize the difficulty of the moms job. The difficulty is in the monotony of it - our days are the same each and every day. There is little adult interaction, little variation in the routine, little intellectual stimulation. There is no end to it, no breaks since we are “on call” 24 by 7 by 365. Not that I’m complaining, I’d not have it any other way. But it can get to us moms.
Lucky for me, I have a hubby who really understands this. When I start to get grouchy and tired, he’ll notice. And give me a break. Run the vacuum around. Or take the kids out for a while. Give me a day to just lounge around and read a book. Then things dont seem quite so endless and monotonous and everyone is happy again.
My hubby has been called wimpy (or something like that) for helping out at home. For not being “manly”. No woman wants to have a family with one of those "manly"men though.
thats really nice of him. i know exactly wat u mean. my mother, too, worked a lot and my father always helped around the house. i always wanted my husband to be like my father. taking care of the kids and the house so mom could have a little peace and quiet time. it is very essential in a marriage, specially if the wife works. in the west though, it is not un common to see husbands helping around the house and doing some household chores. since in 90% of the cases, both husband and wife work, thus, the household work is divided between the 2. me n my fiance have a deal that we will take turns cooking everyday and that is how i want it to be. i always think if i ever married a guy from back home, i doubt he will EVER agree to take turns to cook or help around the house or with kids....
You are very lucky that your husband gives you a break like that! It really refreshes you and allows you to be able to deal with the kids and house better when you have some time to yourself.
Ppl seem to think that cuz your a mom and stay at home with the kids you must just sit around, eat chocolate, and watch Oprah all day. The reality is that you don't even have a second to sit down and even when you go to the washroom the kids are knocking at the door "Ammi Ammi"!!!!!! My mother in law is always telling my husband that I should work because her poor bechara beta is working so hard and i'm just lounging around and having the kids fan me and feed me grapes.
It really is non stop no breaks no vacations no nothing...and now the most dreaded time is approaching! Summer vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!
agreed that both spouses should put in the efforts and share the workload.
2 things that ladies who are homemakers need to keep in mind
1- work is not a picnic either, you have good days and bad days, strsss, politics, workloads, pissy customers, lazy suppliers, all kinds of pressures juggling multiple projects, resources and deadlines. Coming home from all that, sometimes being left alone for 30 minutes is needed so maybe dumping everything on the dude as soon as he enters home is probably not such a great idea.
2- parenting efforts and dynamics change considerably when the kids start going to school though, so that is something that has to be factored in, if my kids were in school all day and wife was a home maker and I came back after a full day of work and then expected to do half of all the housework, there would be serious trouble.
its all about balance and fairness in division of work.
thats really nice of him. i know exactly wat u mean. my mother, too, worked a lot and my father always helped around the house. i always wanted my husband to be like my father. taking care of the kids and the house so mom could have a little peace and quiet time. it is very essential in a marriage, specially if the wife works. in the west though, it is not un common to see husbands helping around the house and doing some household chores. since in 90% of the cases, both husband and wife work, thus, the household work is divided between the 2. me n my fiance have a deal that we will take turns cooking everyday and that is how i want it to be. i always think if i ever married a guy from back home, i doubt he will EVER agree to take turns to cook or help around the house or with kids....
I think thats wrong, in my experience, from who i know, all the men brought up here are KAAMCHOOORRRR, dont even get up to answer the phone,while my hubby, whose from back home and some of the hubbys from back home we know, all cook and clean at times.
Ignore those that say he is wimpy! Bet they wish their husbands would get off their backsides once in a while and give the vacuum a spin! My fiance is strong, manly etc, he does the d.i.y round the house, he has a keen interest in mechanics, he has a very tough job but he also does his own ironing a lot of the time, he tidies up around the house, he looks after his two baby nieces. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion, I'm extremely happy to be marrying him :D
Thats the thing here...adult life isnt easy esp when the kiddies arrive. Its tough on both the moms and the dads whether they both work or not. So when wife makes an effort to ease things for hubby when needed and hubby makes an effort to ease things for wifey when needed, life is just SO much nicer.
Mamaof3 - I would love to be in your position and especially to have a husband like that. Most Pakistani men are too concerned with appearing wimpy...my own husband has said several times he wont do this or that or say this or that because he will appear "wipped."
You're very lucky Mashallah to be a stay at home wife and have a husband that does things around the house occasionally. I want to be a stay at home wife but unfortunately that will probably never happen sigh
Its great that your husband does this...if you are a stay at home mom, I understand that the majority of housework will be done by you...that said,like you wrote, many people dont see that the job is endless. I'll be honest, I know so many women that work and then come home and do the cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids...so why not men? Anyhow, its also good for your kids that your husband acknowleges that your work is hard and that does his part around the house.