To All Pakistanis with Love…
You know you are Pakistani when…
Your house smells like fried onions.
When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in
an exam, and they
ask you what happened to the other two percent.You make tea in a saucepan.
You never buy bin bags, but use your saved
grocery bags for it.You put your clothes in suitcases instead
of wardrobes.*You have a ‘Singer’ sewing machine at home.
- Your mother has a minor disagreement with her
sister and doesn’t talk
to
her for ten years.“”.
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you
are male.You do all the housework and cooking if you
are female.Your relatives alone could populate a small
city.Everyone is a family friend.
You were not that intelligent so you studied
computer science or
business instead.You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home
as possible.You still came back home to live with your
parents after you
had finished.You only make telephone calls after 6:30 PM.
You like the meat well done.
You eat onions with everything.
You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
You say you hate Indian films (/songs)
but secretly watch (/hear) them
with your parents.You teach Westerners swearwords in your
language.You order Pakistani food in English language
to impress the people
you’re with but the waiters don’t understand you.You avoid public places when with a member of
the opposite ###.You secure your baggage with a rope.
You’re walking out of customs with your trolley
at the airport and you
see all possible members of your family who have
come to pick you up.You get very upset when airlines refuse to
accept your luggage, which
is
just 80 lbs. overweight.You go back to your parents’ country and people
treat you like a member
of the royal family.You ask your dad a simple question and he tells
you story of how he had
to walk miles just to get to school.You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your
shoes wherever you go.In addition to cooking, you also use oil as
a grooming aid.You have annoying nicknames.
“”.
Your mother measures wealth only in gold and
diamonds.Your parents push the concept of an arranged
marriage on you and try
to
demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not
fighting.Your parents compare you to all of their
friends’ kids.No one ever seems to call ahead of time to
say they are coming over
for
a visit.Your parents worry what other people will think
if you’re not going
to be a doctor or engineer.“”