Food Ban at the Weddings

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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
^

friend's brother's best man? dude dinn have pals of his own or somfin? :)

The wedding reception after the vows are exchanged is not the same is the banquet they have afterwards.

Tons is spent on weddings here as well, there just seems to be a misconception that its not.
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Lol, nope grew up together.. Well sort of .. Went to the same school, college and belive it or not University only thing is her 23 and i am 20 so three years difference!

Banquet? In ENgland? Nope they just go down the pup or club!

Dude, i know tons are spent weddings everywhere , One of our fmaily friends spent $100,000 to wed their daughter in New-York, Over there the wedding industry is supposedly worth around $10 Billion, i dont know about england or Pakistan.

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*Originally posted by The_Deleted_One: *

Lol, nope grew up together.. Well sort of .. Went to the same school, college and belive it or not University only thing is her 23 and i am 20 so three years difference!

Banquet? In ENgland? Nope they just go down the pup or club!

Dude, i know tons are spent weddings everywhere , One of our fmaily friends spent $100,000 to wed their daughter in New-York, Over there the wedding industry is supposedly worth around $10 Billion, i dont know about england or Pakistan.
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Best man? I could understand if you were one of the grooms men but the guy does have a brother if not his own friends.

Anyways, what I wanted to say was that I've attended two weddings in England and they definately do go all out. One reception I went to, the couple had these massive tents set up outside, each one serving a different purpose.

They served the food in what I think was the perfect way. On the invitation, they had included a RSVP card that asked your meal restrictions(Kosher, Halaal, Vegetarian, or No Restriction) and preference (beef, pork, chicken, etc...). So when you sat down at your designated table, you were served based on the what you had requested. This method can be extremely time consuming but it has to be more cost effective because you're eliminating the chances of wasting food.

There are people who subvert laws, and so there may be many instances where food is served without any restrictions. However, the law provides a safety net to those who do not or can not afford lavish weddings. I think its a good law in Pakistan's typical bher-chaal attitude where everyone tries to top the other one in fazool kharchi.

While, hand-to-heart, I think any law that restricts someone's right to serve their guests in a befitting manner is against Islamic provisions. However, since most of our people are incapable of staying within their means and would rather beg-borrow-and-steal to cater to lavish wedding demands, this law makes a lot of sense.

*Originally posted by ChaChoo: *

*why generalize and impose a punishment on all ? *

all laws are designed in this way are they not? if families want to spend more money on weddings they are more than welcome to have major parties afterwards, the laws just imposed limits on what can be spent at the weddings to protect those vulnerable to abuse.

perhaps the better approach would be to let ppl spend a certain amount in proportion with their annual income and no more, but then who knows what anyone's annual income is in Pak, we all know the tax evasion :)

As I indicated earlier that majority of poverty is in villages (I think) and there this law did no good..

There is plenty of poverty in the cities, if ppl get out of defence and kda1, gulshan, north nazimabad, and head to ranchorr lines, landhi, aurangi etc you will see it first hand.

Whether or not this law wasenforced properly is a diff thing, but the fact remains that something is needed to control this. laaton kay bhoot baaton say naheen mantay, sadly in pakistan there are many laton kay bhoot.

*even where the law was imposed people paid rishwat to throw those lavish parties so they not only incurred the cost of food but also rishwat on top of it… that is what laws like these accomplish..…so where is the money saved? *

The corruption is a whole diff issue, one can not say a law makes no sense if there are ways to go around it, by rishwat people get away with not paying taxes, would you suggest that there should be no taxation either?

I don’t have enough knowledge to provide these numbers but I will say this that the cost of food is a fraction of the jewelry and bride’s dress which are not banned by this law…

in my view law should be expanded to impose limits on dowry as well. The point is that people are being used and abused by this cultural ill. I dont like govt meddling in people's affairs..unless people have shown that they need to regulated. Sadly in pakistan, this is a huge problem for many families.

*My point is, it is a good thought and it should be just that… bring awareness to the people instead of ramming down laws like these down their throats… *

awareness is great, and awareness is a longer term and better solution. However, until this awareness is everywhere, the problem remains, so a short term and long term approach is needed.

Banquet? In ENgland? Nope they just go down the pup or club!

errr, I suppose it depends on which echelon of society one is dealing with.

I have been to weddings in england and know how lavish the after wedding receptions are.

Not everyone who is at the wedding ceremony is at the banquet as well, but there are others who are just at the banquet and not at the actual ceremony.

all laws are designed in this way are they not? if families want to spend more money on weddings they are more than welcome to have major parties afterwards, the laws just imposed limits on what can be spent at the weddings to protect those vulnerable to abuse.

well like I implied, it is a punishment rather than a law... in that case it is unfair to punish the innocent.

perhaps the better approach would be to let ppl spend a certain amount in proportion with their annual income and no more, but then who knows what anyone's annual income is in Pak, we all know the tax evasion :)

Government needs to stay out of our personal lives... it is none of their business how much I want to spend in proportion to my salary.. what next... govt will also allow me which house to buy or which car to drive based on my salary? or even better where can I eat and hang-out based on my salary?

There is plenty of poverty in the cities, if ppl get out of defence and kda1, gulshan, north nazimabad, and head to ranchorr lines, landhi, aurangi etc you will see it first hand.

Haven't been to Karachi much but I have heard about some of the areas that you mentioned.. similar issues exist in Lahore as well... but I still think majority of poverty stricken communities are in villages.

Whether or not this law wasenforced properly is a diff thing, but the fact remains that something is needed to control this. laaton kay bhoot baaton say naheen mantay, sadly in pakistan there are many laton kay bhoot.

Law enforcement and its practicality is a very much relevant and important issue when you design any law. Without practical law it is a waste of everyone time and resources. As far as "latoon kay bhoot' thing is concerned, I have had this argument many times with a lot of desis... Why is it that we think that way... Pakistan has been always the victim of "laat" we rarely give it a chance for "baat"... we need to change that misconception and encourage more dialogue and less "laat" ... in the long run "laat" almost never works...

The corruption is a whole diff issue, one can not say a law makes no sense if there are ways to go around it, by rishwat people get away with not paying taxes, would you suggest that there should be no taxation either?

u have a valid point here but there is a diff between laws that directly affect other people and those that affect people personally... taxation is important and equally applied to everyone if you don't pay taxes you are cheating on your fellow country-men... if you throw a party with food at a wedding money is going out of your own pocket and will not affect someone who is attending the party...

*in my view law should be expanded to impose limits on dowry as well. The point is that people are being used and abused by this cultural ill. I dont like govt meddling in people's affairs..unless people have shown that they need to regulated. Sadly in pakistan, this is a huge problem for many families. *

yes some sort of restraint is needed.. and that calls for an awareness campaign that is truly backed by the social and cultural leaders and spokes-person... laws in such matters won't help much....

*awareness is great, and awareness is a longer term and better solution. However, until this awareness is everywhere, the problem remains, so a short term and long term approach is needed. *

It is like any project.. if you take the short-cut you will end-up with a messed-up system... you have to build a sound foundation and that might mean it might take a lot of effort and will cost in the initial phase but in the long run it is more effective. In some cases you have provide temp relief but that has to be compatible and potable with the long term solution. If in the relief period you push the people away from the ultimate solution people will not accept the final solution.

*Originally posted by ChaChoo: *

Government needs to stay out of our personal lives... it is none of their business how much I want to spend in proportion to my salary.. what next... govt will also allow me which house to buy or which car to drive based on my salary? or even better where can I eat and hang-out based on my salary?

Govt needs to look out for the wellbeing of its citizens, and if their are citizens who are being abused due to lame social norms than it is the govt's role to protect its people. Pakistan needs other laws too, like minimum wage, domestic workers regulation etc etc. one can me arguments against any of such rules. This however was done due to a need.

*Law enforcement and its practicality is a very much relevant and important issue when you design any law. Without practical law it is a waste of everyone time and resources. *

practicality is not the same thing is enforcement.

Pakistan has been always the victim of "laat" we rarely give it a chance for "baat"... we need to change that misconception and encourage more dialogue and less "laat" ... in the long run "laat" almost never works...

Fine, i noted previosuly that we need long term solutions, but what happens in the short-mid term? does the segment of population which is being abused deal with teh abuse until the entire societal mindset is changed?

The people need protection now, the fact that the enforcement of laws is lax is not a fault of the law. copyright laws are not enforced, does that mean they are not needed?

The corruption is a whole diff issue, one can not say a law makes no sense if there are ways to go around it, by rishwat people get away with not paying taxes, would you suggest that there should be no taxation either?

... if you throw a party with food at a wedding money is going out of your own pocket and will not affect someone who is attending the party...

if..yes
but..if you are forced to spend a certain amount because of pressure from the other side then that may not affect someone who is attending the party, but surely it affects the person footing the bill. Ideally we would not have to deal with this nonsense, but you know the cultural issues.

*yes some sort of restraint is needed.. and that calls for an awareness campaign that is truly backed by the social and cultural leaders and spokes-person... laws in such matters won't help much.... *

You and I are in complete agreement over what a sustainable long term solution is.

*It is like any project.. if you take the short-cut you will end-up with a messed-up system... you have to build a sound foundation and that might mean it might take a lot of effort and will cost in the initial phase but in the long run it is more effective. In some cases you have provide temp relief but that has to be compatible and potable with the long term solution. If in the relief period you push the people away from the ultimate solution people will not accept the final solution. *

True, since we agree on the long term approach, what would you suggest a placeholder, short term solution be, until the long term is set. they can run in parallel until the short term is no longer needed.

Well i dont know what your trying to imply but considering that 85% of the general public visit Public Houses or Clubs on social and special occassions… (http://www.statistics.gov.uk/)

England Receptions and Banquets are not lavish by my standards, if you want lavish then why not go down to Baharain, now those people know how to throw a party, … Seriously!

All i will say is that i have been to some great doos in London and surrey but they aint nothing compared to Pakistani weddings and they aint nothing compared to Baharainian Weddings!

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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
However, since most of our people are incapable of staying within their means and would rather beg-borrow-and-steal to cater to lavish wedding demands, this law makes a lot of sense.
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Actually Umreeka is no different in that sense.. most people live beyond their means in Umreeka and that is a known fact and just today I heard on the radio that Umreeka is leading the developed nations in foozool kharchiyan and the least amount of savings...

People in Umreeka would go beyond their means to throw a wedding party and note I am not using the word "lavish" here... just a regular wedding party.... I can make the argument that the society in Umreeka puts a lot of implicit pressure on the bride and groom and their families to do these foozool kharchian.. they are brain wahsed.. poor souls...

would you lobby for someone in the senate who supports a ban on wedding expenses in Umreeka? would an Umreeki would? Why ?

Bheir Chaal is not just in Pakistan, it is everwhere ... look around in the bay aera and you will find many examples..

Mr. Farudia ... I will get back to you soon... I have to fit in work with my interactions with GS :)