Our neighbor’s kids have been getting on my nerves for a while and it’s just getting out of hand. We live in a condo which means our houses are at a pretty close proximity to each other and hence normally, people who are considerate of their neighbor’s would want to keep their noise level down. But this family in particular (6 kids in total- all under the age of 10ish) don’t seem like they care at all. Two of their kids (twins around the age of 2) scream ALL day long. This isn’t any of the normal crying where the kid cries for something and shuts up after he/she gets what they want or just gets quiet after getting tired. It’s not the regular tantrum fit, its just CONSTANT screaming. I think they take turns or something, it’s like a kid gets pinched or something and makes that loud shrieking scream but it’s just non-stop. And I don’t see the parents do anything about it. If i heard the parents make an effort and the kids still went about screaming, I wouldn’t be so upset. But it’s because they dont do ANYTHING. I see them screaming in the parking lot, like they come out of their house and the kids just scream scream and scream until they get into the car with apparently no reason what-so-ever and the parents dont even tell them to get quiet once or ask them what they want.
Now here’s the catch, the mom has cancer. It’s really sad, and what’s worse is that she seems to be going through chemotherapy and a LOT of pain because we hear her crying in pain in the middle of the night. It’s not ordinary crying, it’s when someone is in really terrible pain or mourning . This in itself keeps us up for 2-3 hours at a stretch on some nights (sometimes 2 or 3 am in the morning) but that’s completely okay, and our heart really goes out to her.
But then what’s not okay is her kids screaming ALL DAY LONG and that’s not even an exaggeration. I swear, when they stop for a few rare moments, the screams ring in our heads.
I complained to the manager (about the screaming only) and it seemed to have calmed down for only a couple of days. Now it’s back up.
I mean yeah she’s sick but she can still tell her kids to be quiet right? That shouldn’t be an excuse.
Now I’m deliberating over having a serious talk with our management or just going to her house and telling her to keep it down. But at the same time, I feel bad because she’s sick and She’s Muslim. We are supposed to be there for each other right. And I’m like sort of non-confrontational so I don’t know how I’m going to speak to her.
I don’t know what to do. It’s Ramadan and I usually have very late nights and early mornings for studying, so at night it’s usually the mom which is completely fine but the kids during the ENTIRE day is just a killer.
P.S: closing windows doesn’t help at all! It’s that loud.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
My question was: what do you guys think I should do?
I feel like I have been shot in my head every night. Half of my brain dies because of this retarded exam/ ramadan at the same time and the other half because of the kids.
And I don't want to be mean , she's sick :(
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
It's alright to speak to the management again, I think you should have that serious talk.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
I can feel your discomfort but on the other hand, i don't know how easy it can be for the sick mother to really make her kids shut up :(. I am wondering if her husband or anybody else from family is not around to tackle the kids? I wouldnt expect the mother to be able to do much in this state of health.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
if her kids havent been taught to shut up and nto scream... or talk at a decent voice level... doubt its gonna make a diff now .. especially with her being sick
dont knwo whats gonna work in this case bu having a talk with the mgmt again would be the place to start. no one else can hear them.. like the apt infront etc.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
They probably don't try because it has little effect and it's just a waste of their energy.
You don't get much sleep, now imagine how hard the mum has it if she's awake through the night in pain. How is she supposed to handle the kids? 2 year olds are difficult enough to manage, on top of that twins (I should know, I have twin brothers), even a healthy mum is going to struggle let alone an ill one with 4 other young kids. Sounds like they need help to be honest.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
can't you study elsewhere ? library and stuff ?
i have a 2 year old nephew who makes way too much noise but my solution was earplugs, locking the door + library on weekdays.
parents are the first to know when their kids are annoying especially if they have 6 so if she could handle them she would have already done it. i don't see how talking to the manager would provide a long term solution
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
**do NOT let this situation become any bigger than what it is right now. you have three options:
****1. talk to the the parents. tell them you wanna be a good neighbour and you do all you can to make it happen. u expect the same from them to make the living together in harmony and happiness a reality.
If they do NOT take any action, and nothing changes then talk to the management of the condominium. complain to them in writing and if possible take some pictures and/or make some hidden videos. u must be armed with some proofs.
If nothing happens, then you have the option to call your local police and make a report against them...the officer will come and will give them warnings and make peace between the two of you.****
hope one of the above methods will work in your favour :) Good Luck :)**
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
You can ask them to keep their doors and windows closed and keep yours closed too. That should take care of the noise.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
Babysit the kids for a day and see what their issue is. Maybe they're frustrated cos their mum's sick and don't know how to cope? Bring them to your place and put a dvd on for them.
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
ear plugs??
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
Why can't you offer her services?
If she's in much pain couldn't you at least help her out?
Re: Following the general guidelines of etiquettes in this case..
Here's the dealio with offering to babysit. The family is relatively new in our neighborhood and it looks like they're out of town because they have no visitors. When we heard the mom crying for the very first time, mom went to their place the next morning and asked if everything was okay/not sick because she heard someone crying in the middle of the night. The lady said she had no idea, and no one was sick in their house. Mom said she just came to let her know there are two other Muslim families around here and they can help out etc.,
So it's obvious that the lady doesn't want other people to know she's sick, she has a right to her privacy and we respect that so we never approached her again. It's hard enough for her already without neighbor's poking in their noses in her business when they're not asked. Mom doesn't even talk about it with the other neighbors because she knows the lady didn't want people to know so it's not our business to discuss. But it's obviously her who is sick because she walks out to the balcony and cries and vomits and we see her.
Her husband is also around, but he's at work for a big chunk of the day. That's what bothers me, he won't tell his kids to shut up. It might actually even help the mom a bit.
As far as the library goes, I tried that for a while but the budget cuts/summers have really reduced library hours. They open up late and close uber early. The only one that's open till late (a university one) takes about an hour of driving back n forth/that aided by the fact that I'm fasting and have to walk out for iftari/nimaz with tons of books is just a time waster.
Ear plugs seem like the only plausible option. I hate those. They make me feel like I'm deaf and I like some noise around me. :( but I'll have to suck it up I guess.
I know for a fact that if the management gets a lot of complaints from a family and the family does nothing to fix it, they're evicted. Other people have been complaining about them as well and I don't want to be a part of that. So I'm going to try sorting it out and talk to her/her husband politely about it.