I know in some families, mothers dictate that the early on young girls are encouraged to cook , the better it is for them as they will inculcate good habits and will gain valuable kitchen handling skills for use ultimately in later life ..
While in other families, mothers dictate that they wont let daughters do much in the kitchen , coz eventually they will be doing all of it anyways through out their lives , so why put them through it now …
In my own experience , my mother taught me to make roti’s at quite an early age , around 11 and since then I had that responsibility in the home … It did help me tremendously, coz i know that many ladies dislike making chappati’s , I , on the contrary , really really enjoy the task … perhaps its due to the fact that it was introduced to me quite early on in my life and i have better acceptance of it …
So the question is , when is a good time to introduce cooking to young girls ? and how to get them started?
but instead of focusing on whether the son or daughter can make roti/saalan i think parents should teach them manners etc of kitchen and more simple stuff like how to serve guests, how to make salads, how to put up cuttlery when dinner is being served and helping mom/dad in making the food eg peeling peas if mattar chawal are being made.
Yeah why this gender bias ? And why only the girls ears and noses are pierced and why are only girls are made to wear dopatta/hijab , frocks and skirts and flower patterned clothes and have long hair etc .
Last I checked, you didn’t need female body parts to be good in the kitchen. Islam doesn’t prohibit boys from learning in the kitchen.
If I ever have a kid, boy or girl, I’ll make him/her help me I guess from age 5 and onwards. I love cooking and baking so I’d want my child to enjoy it too.
if anything at least ill get a free dishwasher out of it
And besides cooking…I"d focus more on getting them to do chores. Don’t want them to be lazy like their mommy
Girls should be taught cooking because this is what is expected from a perfect desi wife. Boys can learn if they are interested. I learned it out of my necessity, my son learned because he does not like desi food so he makes his food of his own liking.
Just because that's what is normally expected doesn't mean it should be that way forever.
Girls and boys should both be familiar with the kitchen and be able to do household chores. I don't find any good reason to discriminate and make girls learn these chores while boys get to play--and "that's what always happens" isn't a good reason. at all.
Guys, lets not turn the discussion into gender discrimination issue! Its a universally known fact that women have household responsibilities, that includes the kitchen , looking after the family , feeding them , cooking for them and many other chores.
Men can help in the kitchen , perhaps even cook occasionally , but most of the time it is the mother/wife who takes on the key responsibility of looking after the family.
In very few cases there are men who take the main role in the kitchen .. they do not represent the whole male gender !
So the question remains , when is the right age for girls to start learning household and kitchen handling?
Girls should be taught cooking because this is what is expected from a perfect desi wife. Boys can learn if they are interested. I learned it out of my necessity, my son learned because he does not like desi food so he makes his food of his own liking.
Boys should be encouraged to help themselves and not always have to rely on their mothers and sisters for food. Cooking is a life skill that could come in handy some day and inshAllah I shall start teaching all my future children how to cook (basic dishes at the very least) once they reach the age of 12/13. :) (I'd be a bit weary about teaching them how to cook any younger than this age because I don't want them to mess about with the stove and possibly hurt themselves) I don't see why this is a problem with some people. Is it zulm? Do you also believe that boys shouldn't ever be told to wash dishes or clean up after themselves?
In my family, my siblings and I take turns when doing household chores. Both my parents work so most of the cleaning and some of the cooking is done by us siblings. Sometimes I do the dishes, Sometimes my brother does. Sometimes my sister does. Same with preparing lunch or breakfast/dusting/vacuuming/snow shoveling/sweeping.
Yes, desi women are expected to do all these chores after they are married. But that doesn't mean that parents should insist that only their daughters learn to cook for the family while their sons sit and play video games.
CB, I started very early too, more out of necessity though. Which leads me to think that ideally, it would depend on the individual child; at whatever age they can maintain an interest in participating. It has to be more about getting them to enjoy it and see the value of cooking from scratch, than it being a sort of duty. I hope that makes sense.
The boy/girl thing. I think we do our kids a disservice by dividing things out this way, we should be focusing on raising individuals who are competent in a well-rounded way. I find a male who can not feed himself and a female driver who can not change a tyre, equally disappointing.
Guys, lets not turn the discussion into gender discrimination issue! Its a universally known fact that women have household responsibilities, that includes the kitchen , looking after the family , feeding them , cooking for them and many other chores.
Men can help in the kitchen , perhaps even cook occasionally , but most of the time it is the mother/wife who takes on the key responsibility of looking after the family.
In very few cases there are men who take the main role in the kitchen .. they do not represent the whole male gender !
So the question remains , when is the right age for girls to start learning household and kitchen handling?
Grownup women. Not little girls.
anyways I wasn't trying to turn it into a discrimination issue but Mirch brought up some points that I had to address.
And even if women do take on majority of responsibility...doesn't mean that men/boys shouldn't be taught kitchen stuff either. That's all.
when it comes to proper cooking, i would say 16-17 is a good age to start learning to make full meals. otherwise when younger, it would be good to learn about basic cooking, like egg, omelette, roti, rice and simple stuff.
I didnt get into the kitchen till grad school and that too out of necessity. before that it was little things like make the salad, lay the table chores.
fortunately I haven't had any trouble cooking/taking on full kitchen responsibility. I don't think early training "helps" girls for later in life.
for my kids ... i'll stick to small chores unless the kids really really want to be in the kitchen ....
not to derail the thread ... but I agree 100% with @Sara516 . Feeding oneself is a life skill not a gender based skill and needs to be picked up by both genders. Times are changing ladies and gents ... even in the desi world. woman taking on exclusive/primarily kitchen responsibility is no longer the norm. "that's how it is/was" doesn't cut it anymore.
im 26 i never learned how to cook....but recently i started cooking because i felt like creating... to me its an art and a form of expression...i dont like following recipes...i make my own and everyone loves them because i love what i do .... so my take on the whole issue is no one should be forced into it they should come into it on their own like i did its more fun and more creative that way....
though i have always helped around the kitchen so the helping around the kitchen served to pique my interest it took a damn long time for me to actually start cooking...yeah i cooked here and there when i was in my early 20s i.e. i followed recipes but actually creating my own stuff and enjoying it that i just started and thats what i call real cooking
Cooking, cleaning, being organized and overall having some sort of saleeqa are basic life skills.
I dont consider cooking to be girl-specific but lets face it - women do end up doing most of the cooking.
That being said, what age is good to start implementing basic life skills? I dont think you can ever start too early…provided you dont have a 4 year old making chai of course.
I learned how to make roti around age 11 as well CB from my nani and never forgot it. I could let my belan rust for a year but when I pick it up, it feels like I never stopped. I have amazing memories tied to this basic skill of mine (like hiding ata that I messed up on the bottom of the trash can…) with my grandmother and hope to share those things with my daughter someday. Inshallah.
I will be one of those mothers who think a girl can learn when needed.. I have no intention of making it a rule for my girl to help me in kitchen.. if she is interested, fine but like I wasn't forced, I wont make her cook or learn to cook either!
I dont enjoy cooking but when and if I do it turns out good.. it's a matter of enjoying cooking and not just because you are a woman and you have to cook!!
Same rules for my boy.. or probably a little bit more strict since I appreciate having a husband who can cook it will be an added bonus for my bahu if my son can cook as well.. again only if he enjoys it as much as his dad does. :-)
My daughters are already helping me out at age 5 and 8. It's not about learning kitchen activities, but about responsibilities, being busy, and learning to become independent.
