If a an educated girl from West is bringing a metric failed paindu .. then how can u expect the marraige to work?
But if an educated girl is bringing an educated guy from a big city of Pakistan then there are 90% chances that marriage will work fine (10% chances for it to fail).
So make where if u are ABCD/TTDD/LMPD whatever then u bring one that can understand the society he is going to and eager or at least capable to learn the norms of it.
agreed....not all guys from pakistan want a 'goonga ghulam' for a wife! some know they want a better life, not a ghissi piti boring life..which is why they would opt for a girl who is well adjusted in the system already...and can jump start a life together smoothly..(goes for both men and women)..
These terms are not really the whole story. You have to look at where the guy is comming from and the girl, like some families in Amierca are very backward and "jahil' I'd hate to say, and some families in pakistan are much more cultured and worldly. I think its most important for the people to come from similar back grounds, and family,level of education, level of religious devotion etc... rather than a simple FOB and ABCD.
^That's true.
I have seen the most jahil people here despite of living in the U.S for over 20 years. One of them was this woman we know of who got her 15 years old nikkahed to her 28 years old nephew in Pakistan and did their rukhsati when she turned 17 and graduated high school. The poor girl now lives in Pakstan and has to work around the house like a servant because her husband is one of those super desi types, and she even has a baby now at the age of 19. She often calls up one of the girls here and cries about how miserable she is.
There are so many people like that! even more in the UK I hear....I think people in Pakistani villages are probably better than Londonistanis! (sorry guys I am sure there are exceptions)
well im a bbcd n married a FOB n to b honest u cant get better than him, no he doesnt expect me to b the typical desi housewife n has never restricted me in anything, be it fashion going out talking to guys or anything, n i love n respect him for the way he is i wouldnt want to change him for the world
I think that every situation is different. I am born and raised in Canada and personally feel that I might not be able to deal with a husband staright from Pakistan. Obviously different situtations might work. If he's like well-educated and stuff. I kind of think its easier for a guy from the west to marry a girl from Pakistan rather than a girl from the west to marry a guy from Pakistan.
well im born n raised in uk so u can imagine the difference in upbringing, he is educated upto metric level (dunno wat level that is in west) but regardless he knows n understands the west culture very well n hes only been here for 7+ months
but yeh like u said every situation is different
First of all leme clarify that by using the very controversial terms "FOBs" and "ABCDs" i mean no offense to anyone here or anywhere for that matter but i just couldnt come up with a more attention-catching AND short title for my thread ;)
So, without specifying whoz who here i just wanted to get ppl's opinions bout the whole idea of a girl born and raised in Pakistan marrying a guy who was born and raised in the U.S.
I know its doable but only if they fall in love or something, but what if its totally an arranged thing btw the parents and the girl and the guy are given an opportunity to get to know each other thru phone conversations etc...
I mean what bout the fact that both were raised in completely different environments with completely different privileges (or none at all), different life experiences etc.... and therefore have completely different lifestyles, attitudes, priorities etc... and even little things like the way they talk to other ppl or just their personalities in general are so different cuz of the different cultures they were raised around....
Oh n if in case ur confused, both guy and girl obviously have Pakistani parents but the guy only understands but doesnt speak any Urdu, and the girl can speak fluent English and Urdu obviously. Shes ben living in the U.S for a couple years.
If two people are committed to make a relationship work then I don't think upbring, and environment is an obstacle.
well im born n raised in uk so u can imagine the difference in upbringing, he is educated upto metric level (dunno wat level that is in west) but regardless he knows n understands the west culture very well n hes only been here for 7+ months
but yeh like u said every situation is different
really? thats amazing then that you get along with him then! you are lucky! what city is he from? maybe that will explain it. big city right? probably karachi heh na? they are more modern in their thinking.
^ no my dear hes a paindu from a pind near gujarkhan which is an hour away fro rwlpndi
in fact some of the so called city ppl are much more backward thinking u know
Arshad-salam long time no c:hugz:…yeh i agree with u its upto the couple to mke things wrk, upbring n that doesnt mke a diff
spock stop giving people false information lol please refer to thread "define fob" for a clearer definition as many guppies worked hard to collect the research
actually spock is right, the term is more prominently used in asian (far eastern) groups than desis, and goes back to the 1800s when it was actually used for European immigrants.
i don't know if anyone else had gone through this, but i'm the ABCD, and my soon(inshallah) to be hubby is fob...loll.why does this sound soo funny :)...but i would have never married a fob if it wasn't for love....ohh for people who have gone through this, was it hard for you guzy to get married, because i'm having a hard time with my parents, i think they rather have me marry someone from here!!!