to phir roman uncle aap ne kya soocha PHD carna chai par
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UmMm ThOrE fUrMp
yar kashi meiN ab bhoorHa ho gaya hooN iss liyay ab sirf coffee par hi guzzara hai.
chai par PhD to aap jaisay jawaan logoN ka kaam hai
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Apnay ghalib uncle say poocho, unheiN bhi aaj kal bari khansi aa rahi hai.
[wana reply to this thread in detail inshallah...so to remind myself...bump...]
i’m bringing up this old thread…saw it while browsing thru the forum…and really wanted to write abt my experience here too…maybe as a catharsis or hoping it might help sum1..i dono.. 
hmmm…this is gona be so long n boring 
no body is even gona read it ..but ah well…
i was a FOB student in amreeka too…in every sense of the word FOB…a proud FOB…now i am back in pakistan after finishing my bachelor’s in computer science this past summer alhamdulillah…
i’m from a typically conservative/traditional/sheltered middle class pakistani background…not the type of very liberal or very rich families that send their kids, specially daughters, to study to amreeka…i applied during A levels on tukka, just coz evryone in my skool was and at that time my older brother was in canada, and to everyone’s surprise ended up getting an all expenses paid full scholarship to a great skool, so went to the US, was the first girl in my family to ever do that n it was a big deal for everyone n everyone from the bachoomraz to the buzurgwaar in my family had high hopes from me…
left home when i was only 16 and had seen nothing at all of the world except my family, friends, relatives and school environment and some tv and books. i was very very naive and sheltered even more than some kids my age in pak coz i was always into studies since a kid and never was interested too much in whats going on around me, books n studies n my school were my world, my absolute passion, just for my love of academics and because thats what all my friends were like too and parents expected of me.
i had no relatives at all in amreeka, my brother also left canada a couple months after i got to the usa, and i was pretty much on my own right since the plane landed…
as a FOB in america, firstly, the thing that hits u most is HOMESICKNESS…u just feel ALONE…
you just feel like a fish out of water and you miss everything abt home…it becomes an obsession to think about home and attach urself to people/things that make u feel closer to home…
this is inevitable but if possible one should try to avoid it because it makes one always feel incomplete or that something is missing..feeling this is unhealthy n distracting…
plus one should be thankful of this amazing blessing from Allah swt…to get a good education…
the first couple of months were just terrible, i used to cry every single night…nmany times i wanted to leave everything n going back…but everyone expected me to make something big out of myself…so i stuck it out…alhamdulillah…and with the passing of time Allah swt helped n everything was ok…
one thing that i was really lucky about alhamdulillah was COMPANY…one should always be sure to surround oneself with good company…i was always around muslims…dint have any close non Muslim friends till senior yr when i became friends with some fob indians…but having good friends really helped me stay on the right track..one can easily fall into bad company and then get into habits like drinking, smoking, dating n so on…
those friends that i made and who r my friends for life now r just such wonderful ppl…i just dont have words to praise them…we were very very very close, just like family…
also the whole experience of living alone in a foreign country is so personally, emotionally challenging that sometimes one can lose focus of their aim…which is ACADEMICS…one should always always always keep that in mind that their foremost purpose is studies…
alhamdulillah the college i went to is a very academic place, and sheltered campus so that was good…we had a very great psa and msa, small but very very supportive…so i found a home away from home with them…without that it would have been impossible…
plus Allah ka laakh laakh shukar hay i never needed to work during school as i was on a full scholarship so i never had to do those things like working part time at mc donalds and all that kinda stuff…but i did work part time on campus like helping out in offices or helping at the campus cafe for scatterred periods just to get some extra money…i used to come home every winter and every summer for 1 month and 3 months respectively n needed money for the tickets n my fazool kharchiaan…
hmmmmm…i agree with the original poster in this thread about all the points they have brought up…very good points…we FOBS are often very naive about everything and we think idhar bhee bas kaam chal jayay ga koi masla naheen ho ga like everything just works out in pakistan, and becoz of this lax attitude we land ourselves in trouble…we should be very very careful abt following rules…
hmmm…i think the GOLDEN RULES every FOB in amreeka should follow…my last advice as a sister to all my FOB brothers and sisters abroad is…pray NAMAZ…and ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS…what they have sent u so far away from home for…be true to yourself…and dont betray their trust…
a big thumbs up :k: to all my fob bros n sisters who braved and are braving it out alone in the pardes…i know how tough it is…its a jihad…may Allah swt help you guys and keep u on the right track inshallah 