Five signs you can tell that you have chosen the wrong airline:
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Ground crew seen using pennies to check tire wear
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Trendy desert-pastel paint job upon closer inspection turns out to be primer-yellow and Bondo-pink
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Man with oily rag hanging from the back pocket of his dirty overalls turns out to be the pilot
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Voice on P.A. system warns you to keep your hands and arms inside the aircraft while it is in motion
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Stewardess offers coffee, tea or Valium
Five more ways to tell if you’ve chosen a cheap airline:
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Air sickness bags printed with the Lord’s Prayer.
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Suspicious-looking passenger in the next seat over is nevously counting down minutes.
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Pilot asks if anyone on board has jumper cables with them.
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A telephone with a really long cord attaches the flight crew with the control tower.
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Navigator keeps asking: “are we there yet??”
** unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of Truth! **