Question for hte ladies (and guys too!)
How did it feel to be the first one in your family/group of friends to have a baby?
Did you feel that you wouldn’t able to stay friends with your current group? Did you make new friends who were parents?
Re: First one to have a baby...
married or unmarried?
Re: First one to have a baby...
Haha. both :p
Re: First one to have a baby...
I am the first one among my university friends to have a baby.. and boy are my friends excited or what!!! but then remember I was the first one to get married as well at 20,in my senior year of bachelors!! and no it has never come between us.. I was still seeing them..they they started to get married so we started meeting as couples!!
and now with a baby, I have a lot of khalas who are dying to baby sit him.. but we live in different states :D
I feel like these things never came between us.. I have a pretty balanced friends and family life.. my friends totally understand that my family is my priority and my husband is very accomodating if I want to go out for a movie or trip to the mall with my girl friends once in a blue moon.. with the baby, I will just leave him home with daddy :D (and will give the same opportunity to my husband)
Re: First one to have a baby...
Question for hte ladies (and guys too!)
How did it feel to be the first one in your family/group of friends to have a baby?
Did you feel that you wouldn't able to stay friends with your current group? Did you make new friends who were parents?
At my job, there are three young married teachers who didn't have children.....but one of them had a baby few months back. So, she's like the first in that small group and she was excited to share her pregnancy experiences and then later on her baby. She goes around showing everyone videos on her baby girl on her cell phone. Now as for her two friends (that are also at the school).....they were happy for her. But one of them confided in me that she feels frustrated and sort of hurt because she's been trying to have one for a long time. She also mentioned that outside of school she has a best friend.....and growing up SHE was the one to experience everything first and now that her best friend was the first to have a baby....it bothered her. She was so used to being "first" that she thought she'd be "first" in having a baby as well. It also didn't help matters that ANOTHER teacher at our school....who was pregnant the previous year kept on complaining about having a baby when there are many who consider it a blessing and are having a hard time conceiving.
Another example I know of is my cousin who got married around 18 and was married for more than ten years before she finally had kids. She tried for a long time and it was painful because there were some miscarriages. Since she was the eldest in her family, it was expected that she'd have the first grandchild. Well, after she had had one of her miscarriages....her younger sister became pregnant and ending up having the first grandchild. In the beginning the family thought it was sort of insensitive for the younger sister to become pregnant when the elder one had lost her baby. But with time they realized that these things are not always in one's control and they welcomed the baby. The eldest sister conceived a few month after and it was a successful pregnancy this time.
Re: First one to have a baby…
imthe first to get married in in my siblings and on my naniyal side…
my son gets so much attention.. its a miracle he isnt floating amongst teh clouds hehe… ppl remember teh smallest of details bout him… phone and ask bout him… my parents and siblings are gaga over him and would do anything for him…
what he wants .. he gets… actually he doesnt want a whole lot right now cuz he doesnt know that aspect of human nature (duh, he is 2).. so the family just assumes a kid of 2 may need this that or the other.. and the child is always getting parcels from them (my folks live in a totally diff continent than i do)…
its bombastic… to see so much love… wow. mashallah 
as for friends. … i was in te middle … some friends got married before me.. some after… but somehow.. we all had our kids one after the otehr..(even guppans 
) so nothing majorly weird there… though .. child rearing.. tahts a whole other issue… we dont see eye to eye on a lot of things.. but refrain from saying anything… to each their own.
with teh few friends i do have taht are childless… i dont talk bout midget with them cuz u only find it cute what another kid does, if u ureself have kids… otherwise.. who wants to know ure kid ate pencil sharpening and it popped up in his poo?.. 
Re: First one to have a baby...
My best friend had a baby in final year of med school and was amongst the first in our group too. And it was an amazing experience for all of us. MashaAllah the baby was adorable. We were all together through the entire pregnancy and after that an addition was there in the form of her son. :D
I remember when we used to get really bored of our group study schedule we'd bring him in the room and play with him for ages ...and it's of no wonder we also became his favorite khalas :) He has been the centre of attention in the entire batch infact MA
Re: First one to have a baby...
One of my close friends got married young and she already has 2 boys and im the next one... My other 2 friends from our clisw group are unmarried yet but are very supportive! Also a few of the girls i grew up with are also expecting so its nice!Regards my in laws this will be their first grandchild and mashallah tget are relaly happy and exicted... Plz remember me in ur duas and pray all goes well!!Time is going sooo slow im only 17weeks!
Re: First one to have a baby...
You know it's so funny I am the first one amongst my friends in the US/Canada to have a baby but probably the last one amongst my friends in Pakistan! I spent the first 10 years of my life in the Middle East and all the friends I made there moved back to Pakistan and they all have kids! In fact some are on baby number 2. However, the friends I made here are still busy with their careers and they are not planning on starting a family for atleast another year or two.
Re: First one to have a baby...
I am the eldest on both my mother's and father's side and my daughter was the first baby (grandchild and great grandchild).
I took her to Pakistan and everyone was all go go ga ga over her (gosh,I felt so neglected..!!)...not only may parents and sisters are crazy about her but my cousins and aunts and uncles and everyone in the extended family...
I feel happy that she is Mashallah she is lucky to have such loving people in her family...
Amongst friends,well we had a baby quite late and almost everyone I knew here and in Pakistan already had babies.I don't think so having kids effected our friendships in any major way,maybe we got to see/talk to each other lesser than before because they got busy with kids (I don't blame them..!!).I know a very few people who don't have kids right now and I just try not to spend every moment with them talking about kids,because I actually preferred it that way when I did not have one of my own.
Re: First one to have a baby…
I had my first one when i turned 20. Being eldest in my siblings and paternal side, my son got a really special place. I was the first one among my friends to get married and have kids. Now mashaAllah I have 4 kids and ppl my age have just one kid or 2 at the max. that too quite younger than my lot.
I moved to a different country after that so never really had that much of trouble keeping balance and all. Now I’m back in Pak and with all my friends busy with sooo young babies, sometimes i just get this urge to join them once again 
Thankfully I’m too busy at the moment to give it a second thought though. 