So my mother likes a guy for me and he wants to meet me before. Which is kinda cool as we have to spend our lives and not the parents.
He is coming to my city and my sister will arrange a place and time.
Now I need help regarding what to talk about after ‘Salam’?
Also, I’m really bubbly and my sister thinks its kinda inappropriate for me to smile a lot in front of him as its the first time.
I know it takes a couple of meetings to understand each other personality but still dunno what to say to keep it as a simple first date.
Re: First arranged Meeting happening in 3 weeks. HELP??
I know that a lot of Desi families don't agree to this, but I personally feel that both the groom-to-be and the bride-to-be should remain as natural as possible. After all, you want to be able to judge if you are compatible with the other person. So putting up an act and being as nice as possible is not going to help. Just my 2 cents.
Re: First arranged Meeting happening in 3 weeks. HELP??
I actually had to do the same thing but the guy came to our house. Just ask him his hobbies. What he likes to do when hes not working. What hes studying? What kind of music he listens to? What does he want to do in his life? Does he have any goals? Is he okay with you working if you want to work after marriage?
Re: First arranged Meeting happening in 3 weeks. HELP??
^ :k:
Spikegirl: Just be yourself and ask him general questions just like you’d ask anyone else during the 1st meeting. As for your bubbly personality and smiling a lot…I think you should be yourself 100%. After all, if this guy does not like people who smile a lot and have a bubbly personality, then isn’t it better that you find that out now versus AFTER marriage?
Re: First arranged Meeting happening in 3 weeks. HELP??
hmm
I had a friend go thr this , she was very sober n quiet didnt talk much , but her personality is complete opp- talkative -life of the party bubbly But was quiet during the first meeting. ater he said what he liked about her was that she didn’t talk too much. He’s very reserved so actually I think they balance each other out
be your self , but that doesn’t mean u have to behave the way u would do with a best friend u know? It Can be over whelming, what if u were a shy person and he came in guns blazing .
just have a convo about common like dislikes hobbies and maybe a few serious things n see how it goes…first meeting is usually a little awkward for both.
Re: First arranged Meeting happening in 3 weeks. HELP??
A couple of weeks ago I was in this exact same situation and I was in panic and very confused. I too have a very bubbly and energetic personality plus I love to talk...and yes, my family told me it wouldn't do to be like that.
On the day we met, I told myself : 'here is a guest in my house, he deserves my respect, time and attention. I just need to go in there and have a normal conversation with him, be comfortable and be myself!'
So I went in, gave a smile, said Salaam, he smiled back and he said 'How are you? How was your day?' and that was it. The conversation started from there and it lasted for more than two hours.
Anyways, my advice : Be your self, feel comfortable, think of him as a guest in your house, just visiting. Ask him how he is, how his day was, what he likes to do. If he is interested he will put in the effort to get the conversation rolling.
I hope this advice helps...i know how it feels...but just relax and smile :)
He’s very reserved so actually I think they balance each other out 