Yesterday when I was walking home from subway, I was like 500 yards from my house and I saw lots of cars parked in front of our house, one big black van, loads of camera people and I got so worried for minute.. I said to myself “oh shyt, my boys did something to neighbors’ house and the TV people are here”. I was so scared for a minute, knowing that my son has smashed one window of a neighbor house with his “homerun” (I paid 200 bucks for that!) … I almost shytted in my pants.
When I get to my house, I learn that an Ad agency is scouting for houses in our area to shoot a commercial. The ad producer liked our house (porch in particular) and wants to shoot a KFC commercial using the outside and the interior of our house. Only my boys were home when they arrived, and they waited for 2 hours for me to get home, and I told the people that I need to think about it and discuss it with my wife.
They took a lot of still photos of my house – obviously with my written permission (inside and out). Tomorrow the big Director is flying in from LA to meet with me and my wife. They said that the actors will do the commercial and our house (inside and out) will be used. I will have to take a day off work when the commercial is shot (it’s 7am to 7pm deal - since there are some kid actors involved who can only work after school time). It’s a 30 second commercial and we will be paid “location” fee. Since I will be taking a day off work, I will automatically get paid like a 1000 dollars on top of the ‘location’ fee.
Cool, you can ask them for a bit role as the KFC man. Now the whole world will see your house on tv
Reminds me a couple of years ago they asked to use my car briefly in a tv series which was being filmed on campus. I think they only paid me like $10-20 bucks though.
Did you know KFC is being boycotted by such luminaries as Pamela Anderson because they use chickens that have been tortured under the worst conditions - including live scalding, life-long crippling, and painful debeaking? These chickens are the worst abused animals on earth and are certainly not halal. Vegetarians rule!
Here's a poem someone emailed me:
Today I Die
by Jennifer White
Did I ever have a chance?
When I was born, I was perfect and small, Full of promise.
Now, I am deformed by my bulk.
I can’t breathe.
My legs are swollen and crippled,
Crumbling under my girth.
My eyes, once bright
Are glassy and empty of life.
I am stuffed full of hormones and cheap food, My tender sides feel as if they’ll split.
I am valued only for what I can give,
And give
And give.
And then I’ll die—
Bloated, abused, exposed.
No dignity.
What am I?
I am a chicken, tortured and manipulated and slaughtered for human consumption.
I am a human, obese, congested with animal fat, engorged with cruelty.
I suffer the sins of commerce.
I am a victim of KFC.
The only difference?
People have a choice.
People have a voice.
Animals don’t.
