Not much detail....but would you like to share what constituted your 'excrutiating journey'??? How did you go about meeting the frogs etc??
Well, I had my heart broken exactly twice and these meetings with 'frogs' occurred at uni. The second guy I guess was most significant...he's the type of guy that guys wanna be, and girls want attention from. Extremely good-looking, well-settled, etc etc. Anyway, to make a long story short me and him truly believed we were in love with one another and in fact he had told his mother who was preparing to ask my parents for rishta. However, my perfect bubble burst when a close friend of his told me that he wasn't the guy I thought he was...an occasional drinker, non-virgin, etc etc. His friend told me because he didn't want my life ruined..and may Allah bless him for this. I was heart-broken to say the least and called it of. I was messed up for months because I couldn't believe what had happend.
Fast forward 1 year and the most perfect, most shareef guy MA walks into my life and makes me forget all the heart-break and treats me in the most perfect way ever. He walked into my life at a time where I was NOT interested in falling for anyone at all..but..I guess he was the exception and not to sound cliche or anything but he truly was the one to make me smile again and show me how to be happy Allhamdullilah. =)
Awww perfect…
But this is what destiny means - maybe you had to go through those heart breaks first to find the one as it was meant to be like that. (yes cheesy as it is)
But you do wish you should’ve just waited for MA… right?
seriously i don’t know why i’m advising you on something i have no clue about . it is a long process as it should be since it’s for somebody that would spend the rest of her life with you.
pakwoman: yes definetly! If I could go back and do it again I would definetly eliminate my encounters with the frogs and just have had prince charming in my life. I am very lucky that he (for the most part) has been extremely understanding about frog no.2 (especially because we all go to uni together!) and especially because prince charming hasn't ever dated before. While I know that initially he was hurt, over time he has just continued to make me feel better about what happened and at every point convinced me that the relationship with frog no.2 was non-existent and continually told me that I had to endure that time to meet HIM and that he will keep me happy forever :-)
NomiCA: I don't think dating led me to prince charming, rather it was fate/destiny because I did not intend to get involved with ANYONE but Allah obviously meant for us to meet and I realized that THIS is the guy iv been waiting for forever. Dating resulted in heartbreak for me so I guess the lesson here is if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and love will find you when you least expect/plan for it to. The times I planned for it by making efforts to date etc- it never worked whereas with this it JUST HAPPENED and was effortless..Like everything just MA fell in place for us and I truly believe that's how it is when it's meant to be.
there "shouldn't" be an ideal .. it will just add up to your complexities and the unconscious comparisons of the qualities that one have and one should have .. ..
^
I don't have an ideal.
thats a good approach .. just let it be in flow ..
pakwoman: yes definetly! If I could go back and do it again I would definetly eliminate my encounters with the frogs and just have had prince charming in my life. I am very lucky that he (for the most part) has been extremely understanding about frog no.2 (especially because we all go to uni together!) and especially because prince charming hasn't ever dated before. While I know that initially he was hurt, over time he has just continued to make me feel better about what happened and at every point convinced me that the relationship with frog no.2 was non-existent and continually told me that I had to endure that time to meet HIM and that he will keep me happy forever :-)
NomiCA: I don't think dating led me to prince charming, rather it was fate/destiny because I did not intend to get involved with ANYONE but Allah obviously meant for us to meet and I realized that THIS is the guy iv been waiting for forever. Dating resulted in heartbreak for me so I guess the lesson here is if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and love will find you when you least expect/plan for it to. The times I planned for it by making efforts to date etc- it never worked whereas with this it JUST HAPPENED and was effortless..Like everything just MA fell in place for us and I truly believe that's how it is when it's meant to be.
why is it so that .. .. the one who remained honest, shareef throughout his life gets somone like that ?? (I AM NOT JUDGING OR POINTING A FINGER AT U @princess) I am just saying it .. since its not the only story i came accross ..
I know a lot of girls who have dated .. .. some crossed the limits and some remained in the limits but still they have interacted with people and then after the break up they ended up getting the one who is the "shareefest" bacha around the corner? isn't it unfair with shareef bacha's .. ?
does that mean if guys remain "un-shareef" they will get the shareefest bachi .. ?
This particular thing scare teh **** out of me when ever i think about getting married .. :s .. specially arranged
^ your generalizing too much again. this particular guy doesn't seem to have a problem with this... since he doesn't care about her past, in fact he's helping her get over it. There maybe many guys like him and there are many men out there who think like you do. It's not about fair or unfair, everyone has their own preferences.
And no there is no such standard criteria:
does that mean if guys remain "un-shareef" they will get the shareefest bachi .. ?
^ your generalizing too much again. this particular guy doesn't seem to have a problem with this... since he doesn't care about her past, in fact he's helping her get over it. There maybe many guys like him and there are many men out there who think like you do. It's not about fair or unfair, everyone has their own preferences.
And no there is no such standard criteria:
I know, i generalized it too much .. but that was the first thing that popped up in my head .. .. personally, I don't have any "past" issues if my girl had some (in limits) - but thats the thing i have always seen .. noticed.
I did stay within limits when I was communicating with frog no. 2
Prince Charming DID mind a lot when we initially met but that was over-ridden by the way he feels about me. He too never thought he would be with someone with a “past” but mine isn’t that colourful and again, when it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.
I don’t think it has anything to do with being shareef or un-shareef, i.e.: that if a guy is unshareef he will automatically get the most shareef girl- it’s about fate/destiny etc.
Well, I had my heart broken exactly twice and these meetings with 'frogs' occurred at uni. The second guy I guess was most significant...he's the type of guy that guys wanna be, and girls want attention from. Extremely good-looking, well-settled, etc etc. Anyway, to make a long story short me and him truly believed we were in love with one another and in fact he had told his mother who was preparing to ask my parents for rishta. However, my perfect bubble burst when a close friend of his told me that he wasn't the guy I thought he was...an occasional drinker, non-virgin, etc etc. His friend told me because he didn't want my life ruined..and may Allah bless him for this. I was heart-broken to say the least and called it of. I was messed up for months because I couldn't believe what had happend. Fast forward 1 year and the most perfect, most shareef guy MA walks into my life and makes me forget all the heart-break and treats me in the most perfect way ever. He walked into my life at a time where I was NOT interested in falling for anyone at all..but..I guess he was the exception and not to sound cliche or anything but he truly was the one to make me smile again and show me how to be happy Allhamdullilah. =)
awww Princess....lucky you mashaAllah !!
how do you go about finding the one...???
I do believe that whatever happens...happens for a reason; that you meet people for a reason too...however there is no such thing as 'the one' or 'ideal' because the qualities that you would like can be simultaneously found in many people...
So basically it's destiny and dua's :)
all these terms "the one", "soulmate", "better half" all are little things that hollywood/bollywood/lollywood created so they could sell their movies and brainwash people into not even putting any effort into the whole process :D
. it is a long process as it should be since it’s for somebody that would spend the rest of her life with you.
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