I think “Serenity” is the lovliest word in the english language. Have you ever met a person who has attained total serenity? They seem so comfortable and at peace with themselves and with the world. Their eyes just glow with love of humankind, love of life, love of peace and harmony. And they leave a peaceful mark on anyone they meet.
How to attain this state of being? I’d never post this thread over in rlgn forum - the lingerers on that forum are so far from “serene” that it has made me question Islaam as a religion from time to time. Most serene people are religious - whether its Muslim, Christian, Jew etc etc. but I have also met a couple of non-religious serenities. It is certainly something very worth trying to acheive. I try to keep that word in my mind throughout my day and it reminds me.
I am yet to see a non-religious serene person. But I wonder how many of the Mr. or Ms. Religious Serenities are actually so. The bearded fellas with smiling faces, glowing eyes and warm handshakes leave a very good first impression. So much so you could almost be in awe of them sometimes. However, with time you discover that underneath they are just the same as you the sinner. Same wishes, same fears and similar approach to handling life, career, marriage etc. albeit with a smile. In most cases, I have found it to be 'good presentation'; nothing more.
Personally, I am convinced that becoming religious is the first step towards being content and relatively happy ... not that I am trying it.
There is this one person that I know of, who seems totally calm, serene and at peace with himself and his life MaashaAllah. He is a Muslim revert. Not very religious as per standards of a lot of ppl but he is one of the only folks who I have never heard complain abt anything.
If you want to separate religion from your life and still be at peace with yourself, I wont say its impossible. I personally am somewhat of a religious person and find myself calming down when I say the name of Allah and try trusting Him with my everything. I try my best not to worry about anything because I can do the best I can and leave the rest to Him. (I am still working to be at non-worry stage! :D ). After all, I am human and can only control my life so much. Makes sense?
From a non religious point of view, I would say, if you were able to sketch a do’s and don’t’s, goals etc for your life and then were able to do your best to attain that, you should find atleast some sort of inner peace.
serenity to me is enjoying every moment, living in the present, enjoying the little things in life.
not doing stuff i know i dont really have to do. doing stuff i love like dancing and travelling.
serenity WOULD BE to me a few days spent in my ancestors' hometown....where they slept on cool rooftops and woke up to a rising sun...
This auntie I know has a calming effect on me. When I was younger, I always was on my best behaviour when she was around. She is very religious herself, and although she never criticizes anyone, she brings out the best in people. When others lectured me, I’d privately go but somehow her speech always came across as genuine, like she truly cared about you. The other thing that struck me about her was her optimism. The early years of her marriage were rocky, her husband seemed to be loud/mean; but now there is a marked change in his behaviour towards her, he respects her and speaks to her properly. It must have been her patience/serenity that achieved that.
How can someone be SO GOOD?!!!
i would also like to point out one thing. there is a big difference between being serene and being SELF RIGHTEOUS…
there are those that believe they have no reason to accept another person’s point of view because what they hold to be true is true and will usually justify all actions and if they run out of justifications will resort to telling others that it is based on a faith. WHAT? faith? first its justifying on pure logic…and then when no logic prevails…they clutch at the “blind faith” straws. there is no “if, maybe, i think” about them…only “I Know!”
my maternal grandfather was that way, he passed away a few years ago but he was so much at peace with himself and everything. Not to say he had an easy life or no ailments or no concerns about the state of the world etc, but I have not seen anyone as serene as him ever.
He was a deeply religious guy, and someone who i avoided in my teens and twenties due to his lectures and all. he was very strict back then also. I dont know what happened, I matured, he mellowed and we had such nice terms.
Fraudz, how very lucky you are to have someone such as this to touch and enrich your life. Its sad isnt it, how we dont appreciate so much when we are young, the wisdom of the elders. That aside, its a very rare and precious thing to have a truly serene person touch your life. Cherish the memories of this always! and it will bring YOU serenity I'm sure!
I think both him and I changed as years went by. he used to be a strict disciplinarian which i guess came with the territory of being a highschool principal.
As we grew older he stopped disciplining us and we stopped running from him. I dont think he had found serenity then either but in the last 6-7 years of his life. sadly that was the time I was the least in contact with him. I still recall the last time we met and i dont know if he sensed that we would never meet again in this life, but i had this strange feeling. he talked to me at lengths about his childhood and him growing up, college days career choices, sacrifices and loss of much of his family during migration to Pakistan after independence. I wish I had recorded it.
You know what a strange thing is, his serenity was contageous, as I sat with him, i felt so much at peace, so calm. I dont know what it was.
I often forget he is gone. I ahve not been to Pakistan since the last time I saw him, and in my mind he is still sitting on the chair in his home just returned from the neighbourhood mosque, drinking tea and talking to me about all sorts of things. I know that soon after i left his health worsened and he had a trying few years and even moved to a different place and that is where he passed. But I was not there to see him through those days. The only memory I have of his last days is calling my mother while she was with him at the hospital and him responding to her.
I stated he was a strict discplinarian, he stopped discipling us, but never stopped discipling himself, on his death bed, after a massive stroke he still prayed 5 times a day.
I know a few people who, despite difficult lives have found a sense of peace in themselves and the circumstances around them. Both my Daadi who passed away last year and her daughter (my Phupo) are so open and pure. I think part of their serenity is having love and faith in Allah. They had no materialism, no yearnings to keep accumulating posessions. My Phupo was a doctor but she lived such a simple life herself. Most of her money was given away to the needy. She's very humble and kind. When anyone meets her they immediately tell me she is such a good, nice person. You can just feel it from her and see it in her eyes. She's been through problems with her husband and had cancer but she's unaffected by it. She has absolutely no bitterness or resentment. I think when a person surrenders to Allah's will they are freed from worldly attachment and that leads to serenity. It's also about attitude. Both my Daadi and Phupo don't view things in a negative light. They're both optimists and never find reasons to critisize others.
People such as this I consider to be "great"...to have acheived the almost un-acheivable. They set the example for the rest of us to follow and a tough path it is! When you have a truly "serene" person in your life, cherish them and pray that you can attain this special state of being also.
but somehow her speech always came across as genuine, like she truly cared about you. The other thing that struck me about her was her optimism. The early years of her marriage were rocky, her husband seemed to be loud/mean; but now there is a marked change in his behaviour towards her, he respects her and speaks to her properly. It must have been her patience/serenity that achieved that.