Just my 2 cents: but I think us muslim career women are going to have problems in finding good rishtaas from the type of posts I've read in the religion forum.
PyariCgudia first of all can i jst say thanks for takin the time to reply. u seem to have put a lot of thought into it. or maybe its just a topic close to home for u
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There are many differences. Typical Pakistani wives are very secular i.e Islam and daily life are 2 separate ideas for them. They dont embrace the ideology as a whole (not trying to stereotype here, im sure there are exceptions).
There are other things too, nationalism…which is haraam.
lots of things, but its a wide subject and i dont want to go off onto a tangent.
Worst thing is , even when parents DO start looking they’ll limit themselves to Pak girls. thats so Racist.
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Just my 2 cents: but I think us muslim career women are going to have problems in finding good rishtaas from the type of posts I've read in the religion forum.
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and my 2 cents worth. yes, i think u will.
** O Prophet! Say to your wives: "If you desire the life of this world and its glitter, then come, I shall give you of
these and let you go in an honorable way."
Surah AL-Ahzab 33:28 **
** Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard
in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct admonish them (first) (next) refuse to share their beds (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High Great (above you all)
Surah An-Nisaa 4:34 **
As said before, im no mujtahid, so im not going to interpret these ayahs . theyre quite clear in meaning.
Eemo, let me be clear on my opinions before you judge. I dont think women should be the workers and men be homemakers. Not at all. In fact, I dont see anything wrong at all with a housewife.
But, with all due respect, with these two ayahs you've shared with us, I still dont see where women are forbidden to work. The key word is FORBIDDEN.
In the end, Islamically, if a woman does chose to work for whatever halaal reason, then she shouldn't be at a disadvantage for rishtaas. After all, the Rasul did not even count Khadija's profession against her when deciding whether to marry her.
At the same time, I'm not denying that the husband should be the one wearing the pants in the house as long as he is respectful of his wife and her state of mind. And I also feel that the true breadearner is the man, and should be the man. The woman, unless for special reasons, should not have to feel as if the finances are dependent upon her. And also, a woman should definitely not think of working if she can't handle her housework and childcare. Because a clean home and good children depend 100 percent on a mother.
Nevertheless, you have a right to have a preference for gharwaali type of women. Whatever rocks your boat.
[This message has been edited by PyariCgudia (edited July 01, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by PyariCgudia (edited July 01, 2002).]
eemo is you question still "Give me some genuine practical advice of how i should look for a suitable spouse"?
The ayah says that men were made stronger to be protective of their wife and to provide for them, right? But i've always heard that a woman can work, but her wages and profit are up to her discretion to spend/save. ie. Its not her responsibility to earn, its her husbands, but if she is earning, then that money is hers, not her husbands. However, the money the husband makes is expected to be spent on the household, children, and wife's needs.
I know this is going off topic, and if its a problem, i'll start another thread on this -- but does anyone know what i'm talking about?
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Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
*but if she is earning, then that money is hers, not her husbands. However, the money the husband makes is expected to be spent on the household, children, and wife's needs.
*
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Are you complaining about this arrangement PCG?
still im none the wiser of what practical steps i should be taking.
As i feared with the religion forum, we've fallen into personal debates and gone off topic.
PyariCGudia i never said it was forbidden for women to work. You didnt understand me. I said you would find it difficult to find a religously inclined guy who would be ok with a career woman.
Its NOT forbidden to work, but to my understanding (from when discussing with a knowledgeable brother) its upto the husbands discretion as to whether the wife works or not. dont quote me on that cos im not sure.
its based on an ayah but im sorry i dont have the exact reference.
its upto the husbands discretion as to whether the wife works or not
I'll be waiting for someone to prove this one.
Google - the answer is no to your ?
Eemo: frankly, if anyone can pipe up any more suggestions, I dont think there are any other options. If these suggestions dont satisfy you, then I'd seriously sit down with parents and talk to them.
Hey Salam behno aur behnoun ke bhaiyo
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I was passing by and saw this InTeResTiNg topic so I thought maybe mera mawchura bhi zaroori hoga
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So bro, mera ye khayal hai ke if you are looking for a naikh boli bali sidi sadi nani muni si dulhan then you’re better of asking an Imam or any other of your local buddies (Bukharis, Molvis and Mujahids
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- you get ma point?) And aside from that you should pray and beg Allah (swt) to improve your condition (preferably by praying Salah-ul-Hajaah) and perform Istikhara regarding wHoEvEr you are interested in… This was just a chote moo se bari baat
But meri baat manoh ya na manoh I know that my “soch” is right init
But meri baat manoh ya na manoh I know that my “soch” is right initYou can do an ishtikhara for marriage?
I thought ishtikharas were really sensitive and dangerous for the health of the person doing them, and is thus used in emergency situations.
Well, that’s what my parents told me – I may be totally wrong on that…someone please confirm!