Those who lost job or suffered some public financial loss such as foreclosure, etc. Did it worsened the attitude of your friends toward you? How did you cope with the worsened attitudes?
At one time I lost millions, best thing that ever happened to me
And if you worry about the attitude of friends than you need to re-evaluate your priorities
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What do you mean by worsened attitude? If some of your friends failed to help you, I understand that can be hurtful especially if you have helped them out in their times of need. But I feel that when your friends snub or ignore or dismiss or insult you or exclude you from events because you have suffered a financial setback, that is far worse than failing to help you.........and I wouldn't consider those persons as friends. I would maintain a polite/civil equation with them but I wouldn't be so "chummy" with them anymore. For example, I would stop confiding in them or depending on them for emotional support. I would also stop actively seeking them out for socialization and would occupy that time either with company of more sincere friends and family members, or with some constructive activity that promotes your development (either physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually especially). I would not be as emotionally vested in them. IF.....let's say.....that you decide help these "so-called friends" in any way then do it from a humble mindset and not one of arrogance/contempt and do so with the self-reminder that they are Allah k banday just as you are (even if they have hurt you) and do it for the sake of Allah and expect your reward only from Him. Detach your heart from them to the point that you expect neither gratitude nor appreciation nor respect nor loyalty from them.
Hmmm…interesting! Perhaps you meant to say that the lessons you learned due to the loss couldn’t have been learned any other way. So that learning was the best thing that happened to you rather than the loss itself. Because if the loss in itself was the best thing to have ever happened to you, you’d be wishing and striving for it to happen again and again.
Thats unfortunate but interesting. Atleast you get to know they were not your “friends” but a mere acquaintance.
As they say, what doesnt kill you make you stronger. You can bounce back and once you do, never go back to those “friends”
I know someone who all his life kept giving money to his pals but then the life hit him back and he got into serious money troubles. All those who he had been helping him went far at a unrecognizable distance. So yea sh!t happens but lessons learnt are more importnat.
@JourneyMan i was getting lazy, unmotivated, full of myself, kids were getting lazy I was getting fat and relationships were suffering, life is might motivation, if I get wealthy again I would not lose sight of what is important and that is health and family and will keep focus on gratitude. If your money is the only thing people appreciate you for than that is not a good life
That is one way of living life, if it rocks someone’s boat.
Good points, thanks !
Have you ever been inside a grave? Me neither, but I’ve experienced something close. I would message some friends, who were with me all the time while the good times lasted, and they won’t even read my message, let alone reply. And the messages would be just a greeting like “Ramzan mubarak”, “Eid mubarak”, or “Happy birthday”, nothing more. Some would not sit/stand near me as if Lakhsmi maata will get offended. Others would cross-paths with me, and act like I’m an invisible ghost they didn’t see. Last but not the least would be those who got a tad bit busier than usual. That is what I mean by “worsened attitudes”.
I do not like to embarass myself and if someone didn’t reply or treated me like an invisible alien, I did not insist. Also, I have few friends who are like bedrock but I never recognized them until it was time. I wasted so much time with those folks who were shallower than clouds. Wish there was a formula to tell reliability beforehand.
Bromancing is very important to some eastern males as there are strong elements of tribal and feudal influences, most western men don’t get heartbroken over jilted homies and there certainly aren’t that serious expectations, time is valuable and most of should be dedicated to immediate family, children. Wife, brothers, sisters
life partners can be amazing friends, I ho for walks, watch movies, workout and talk to my partners and don’t really need to bromance and waste my time
Yup, shxt happens.
There is no question of viewing those people the same way ever again. I just wish I had seen that coming long ago, for both types, those who stood by and those who didn’t.
I’m not fully out of the mess, took me a while, but getting there. Those who had vanished, at least some of them, have the nerve now to try to reconnect by acting as if nothing happened.
Nvm
Nvm
Yes. Once I bet a lot of money on Misbah while he was playing a T20. My bet was his strike rate would be greater than 41.
Wow, you are a pretty pathetic person. You got some serious disgust for brown people. Otherwise, your use of terms like “eastern males” vs “western men” is supper uncalled for. You cannot whitewash yourself in the eyes of gora sahab bec. gora sahab is not dumb, he sees it from miles away, and laughs at wannabees like you. You keep trying and failing.
Also, the relations you mentioned is a given for everyone, no choice there except for “your partner(s?)”, which mostly starts as a friend. Since you are so aloof otherwise. That is admission of you making female friends just for “benefits” in mind, and little more.
Note to moderators: If folks like him attack the person starting a discussion, how likely is it that anyone, at least an “eastern male”, is going to start a serious discussion here !
@Bubban, while there is no known treatment for the uncle Tom inside you. There is however a therapy that helps alleviate symptoms significantly. The first step of therapy is to develop some antibodies in your body. A debate won’t cut it, not before the antibodies at least. So first and foremost, you prepare yourself a 3.4 ounces spray bottle and get it filled with piss of gora sahab. Spray your face with the piss from time to time, and get a taste of it each time too and take deep breaths. In the beginning, your immune system will not respond, since that is gora sahab’s piss after all. But the hope is that eventually it will, that’ll be a sign of your first antibodies for a gora thing. If and when that happens, only then next steps of therapy can be administered.
Firstly girlifying my name is not an insult, do you think females in your family are an insult to you, amazing how a weak male with pencil neck, living probably on goras sahib welfare thinks he is above gors sahib lol.
Just for your info many eastern males are resorting to male prostitution in Greece so they may collect gora welfare I am sure acting immensely proud.
Amazing how egotistical bhikaaris can be lol,
Bubban, drop everything and get that spray bottle ready. I’m trying to help you here.
Nvm
if you meet western men who served in the military you will not feel that way, what you are describing is attitude of western yuppies