not amongst friends or couples…but say, fighting for what you believe in, standing up for yourself or standing up for someone else…
how do you know when is the right time to do so? There are some people who let alot of things go and there are those who fight everything…there has to be a balance…so how do you find that? Often times I regret when I did speak up about something which led to a confrontation and other times I regret NOT saying something when I had the chance…the moment is passed…
I think that to help achieve a "balance"......one should calm down and think about the other person's POV as well as the consequences. When you make the effort to understand why the other person feels a certain way........you may be able to develop some sensitivity and empathy especially if the person is going through a hardship...even if you don't agree with their views. Such an understanding can help you connect with the other person and reach a compromise. Also, you have to think about what consequences others will have to face as a result of your "fighting".......and are they good or harmful?
When you "rush" to fight........you may be impulsive with your words and actions....and end up doing more damage than good. But if you take the time out to THINK before deciding HOW you should fight........you're better able to "weigh" your words.
Another motivating factor can be....if a someone's decisions are REALLY harming others.....or infringing upon another person's basic rights. And there's a hadith where the Prophet SAWS said that if you SEE some injustice taking place.......then you should try to stop it with your hands...and if you can't physically stop it...then you speak out against it, etc. IF.....the victim is too weak to fight......that can require more forceful intervention from others.
And.....the "intensity" of the "fight".......can also depend upon the stubbornness of the person you're dealing with. Their unwillingness to compromise/budge...can make you feel really really frustrated....and that can lead to greater aggression.
not amongst friends or couples....but say, fighting for what you believe in, standing up for yourself or standing up for someone else.....
how do you know when is the right time to do so? There are some people who let alot of things go and there are those who fight everything......there has to be a balance...so how do you find that? Often times I regret when I did speak up about something which led to a confrontation and other times I regret NOT saying something when I had the chance....the moment is passed....
so how do u find that right balance....
Good topic!
I have been the one who lets a lot go. The way I have figured this out is by noticing my emotional reaction to what is being said. Obviously, if it is about something that I have a strong opinion about, I speak up. If I don't have a very strong opinion, I usually listen, because that means there is something I can learn there - to form an opinion.
I also try to pay attention to what is stopping me from speaking up, when those difficult situations arise. Often times, it is stuff like not wanting any sort of a conflict, or the other person seems less than nice (and so intimidating) to speak up to. Those are the best times to push yourself to do it.
