(1)
Zakhm Silnay Lagtay Hain
Teray Muskuranay Se
Phool Khilnay Lagtay Hain
(2)
Darya Ke Do Kinaray
Chaltay Hain Saath Duur Tak
Miltay Nahi Magar
(3)
Manzilain To Aik Theen Lekin
Donon Ne Muntakhib Keay
Rastay Juda Juda
(4)
Baarish Boondain Baras Rahi Hain
Lams Tera Paanay Ko Janaan
Meri Porain Taras Rahee Hain
(5)
Jab Dukh Nahi Hota
Main Khush Nahi Hota
Dil Udaas Hota Hai
(Ahmer)
Umeed Hai Pasand Ayen Ge..
Regards,
Re: Few Three Liners..
cute
Re: Few Three Liners..
acha hai kisi aik ko pick kar k achee c nazm likh dou:)
us k baghare bhi theek hai
Re: Few Three Liners..
acha hai kisi aik ko pick kar k achee c nazm likh dou:) us k baghare bhi theek hai
:) Thank You bheegiyaad.. I will try.. wese dil udaas hota hai pe aik nazm hai :)
Re: Few Three Liners..
Thank You Yurut.. :)
Re: Few Three Liners..
(1) lines 2 and 3 are cliche. muskrana aur phool jharna bahut baar log keh chukkay hain]
Zakhm Silnay Lagtay Hain
Teray Muskuranay Se
Phool Khilnay Lagtay Hain
(2) yahaan par kya khaas baat ka zikr ho raha hai?]
Darya Ke Do Kinaray
Chaltay Hain Saath Duur Tak
Miltay Nahi Magar
(3) [kyon? to kya hua? kya khass baat hooee]
Manzilain To Aik Theen Lekin
Donon Ne Muntakhib Keay
Rastay Juda Juda
(4) [boonday barasna aur tarasna yaheen theeh theek hai]
Baarish Boondain Baras Rahi Hain
Lams Tera Paanay Ko Janaan
Meri Porain Taras Rahee Hain
(5) [lin2 and 3 tell the same thing. 3 liners main kya yeh zarrori nahin k har line koee nayee cheez batlaayey ta k 3 lines main bahut kuch batlaaya ja sakay?]
Jab Dukh Nahi Hota
Main Khush Nahi Hota
Dil Udaas Hota Hai
(Ahmer)
yeh haiku nahin hain. lakin 3 lines koee image ya idea nahin bhejhti hain. kuch haiku aap parhain to patta lag jayey ga kahan par kami hai.
umeed hai aap yeh par kar gussa nahin aaeyga! agar aaya to mauf karna!
Re: Few Three Liners..
nicee
Re: Few Three Liners..
(1) lines 2 and 3 are cliche. muskrana aur phool jharna bahut baar log keh chukkay hain]
Zakhm Silnay Lagtay Hain Teray Muskuranay Se Phool Khilnay Lagtay Hain
(2) yahaan par kya khaas baat ka zikr ho raha hai?]
Darya Ke Do Kinaray Chaltay Hain Saath Duur Tak Miltay Nahi Magar
(3) [kyon? to kya hua? kya khass baat hooee]
Manzilain To Aik Theen Lekin Donon Ne Muntakhib Keay Rastay Juda Juda
(4) [boonday barasna aur tarasna yaheen theeh theek hai]
Baarish Boondain Baras Rahi Hain Lams Tera Paanay Ko Janaan Meri Porain Taras Rahee Hain
(5) [lin2 and 3 tell the same thing. 3 liners main kya yeh zarrori nahin k har line koee nayee cheez batlaayey ta k 3 lines main bahut kuch batlaaya ja sakay?]
Jab Dukh Nahi Hota Main Khush Nahi Hota Dil Udaas Hota Hai
(Ahmer)
yeh haiku nahin hain. lakin 3 lines koee image ya idea nahin bhejhti hain. kuch haiku aap parhain to patta lag jayey ga kahan par kami hai.
umeed hai aap yeh par kar gussa nahin aaeyga! agar aaya to mauf karna!
:)
i didnt mind at all..
wese haiko main 5 8 5 ka balance hota hai..
thnx for such detailed overview..
Re: Few Three Liners..
nicee
Thank You.. :)
Re: Few Three Liners..
Thank You.. :)
U R Welcome:D