Hi everyone!
I badly need you ppl’s advise… plsssss help!
There’s this friend of mine with whom I am friend with for the last 6 months. We have been chatting regularly on WhatsApp. It has been purely friendship between us and nothing else. But for the last few days, I feel I have started falling for him, like, I have started liking him as more than friends. But I don’t think this is what he feels for me.
He stays online on WhatsApp quite often. I asked him few times if he has other female friends and as per him, he does not have. That may not necessarily be true. But it has started to destruct my peace of mind. And because of that, I have unnecessarily started quarrelling with him . He acts just cool about it. If I angrily tell him bye, he replies as bye and there would be no contact between us for 4-5 days till he messages me again.
Now, what do I do? Am I over-reacting? Or shall I end the friendship with him and move on? Because I do not want to openly tell him that I like him, and also, I won’t be able to tolerate to see him with someone else. Please advise.
Have you ever met him in real life!??
This internet world is a fake fake world...you never know what the other person is like. People usually hide behind a facade here. I came across a situation similar to yours..but the guy told me straight away ...I m not like this in real life..atleast he wozze honest.
You need to take a bold step here...Tell him straight away that you like him..tell him you miss him...you enjoy his company n leave rest to fate.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
I met him once in real.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Avoid quarreling with him. The other person can only remember the last negative conversation and forget all about the many good times you both had. You don't want his last memory/thought of yours to be an unpleasant one. Despite your quarreling, he still initiates contact every few days. Maybe he leaves that gap of a few days to give you and him both time to cool down. However, the more you give him an attitude and annoy him, the wider that gap can become. And if you are the one that is instigating the quarrels, he can one day tire of coming after you. You can initiate contact as well to show him that you care about him more than the argument and have moved on. Avoid arguing and try to end conversations with him and others on a good note.
He has not made a commitment to you, so he is free to talk to other girls. As hurtful as it sounds, you also have the right to consider other rishtas/guys. He has no claim over you and you don't have exclusive claim over him. Despite meeting you in person, he has not expressed a clear romantic interest, so maybe he isn't interested. I don't favor the girl confessing her feelings first. There may be exceptions of success stories, but I feel it usually doesn't bode well. I prefer the traditional guy-leads approach. You can choose to tell him how you feel, but be prepared for unfavorable results. He could become awkward around you and avoid you if he doesn't feel the same. He could use the ego boost to his advantage and lead you on. It leaves you in the sticky place where you have to decide if you should continue friendship or end it so you can heal. It could strain the friendship. On the flip side it could end the frustration of uncertainty you're going thru now and he could possibly feel the same way.
The other option is for you to continue friendship but detach yourself a bit and push yourself to be open to other rishtas and guys. You basically live your life and don't put it on hold for him. If this guy enjoys talking to you and connects with you in a way he hasn't with any other girl and can see a future with you, he knows that you could be snagged up by another guy; he has to know this possibility in the back of his mind. Decide which of the two approaches you can handle best and go with that.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Okay here we go!
So let me get this straight. For starters I don't care if you have met this guy or not...but 6 months of communication is substantial. Now you are falling for him right? I don't see the harm in that, so you like this guy, or have "interest" in this party. I should say take a leap of faith and just tell him, regardless of whether he may or may not feel the same way. Don't live your life in fear. Why would you be afraid to tell someone that you are interested in them? Because you'll lose them? So stupid. Although, i've been there... when I was in high school.. like 13 years ago... the sooner you learn there is no fear in rejection, the sooner you will begin to see rationally. You shouldn't fall for somebody if they ONLY like you first...or vice versa. Sometimes you cannot help who you fall for, and when you do...its stupid to terminate a friendship over it.
2nd note. I think its pretty universal in Pakistan that a sizable majority of guys and girls interact with the opposite sex. Also, they have been trained to deny it. If a guy asks you, are you talking to other boys, you're not going to start naming your list of Tom, Dick, and Harry. So to expect a guy to tell you the same thing? Wouldn't that be foolish? How would it make you feel if he was talking to 5 other girls? You would probably feel unimportant like a notch on the belt...so of course he has to deny it... don't ask questions that people are prone to lie about.
I've asked my LD (long distance), if she's talking to other guys, and she says she does not, but I was not born yesterday. The fact of the matter is, that even if she is, I shouldn't care...its her life in the end, and me caring about it, won't change it. It'll just upset me more.
I value the truth more, than the pain it causes, yet ignorance is bliss...
ahhh alas...the ironies of the human psyche.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Whatsapp is shaitan in disguise so much crap on there. Why do parents let their kids have phones I don't understand.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Really? Like what. Can't u only talk to ppl who's number u already have? And not random ppl? Where does the crap part come in.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
broken1
Yes, he might be interested in you. Men dont seek out friendships with women just for the sake of friendships. Friendships are supposed to grow naturally, over time, due to regular interaction and shared interests/goals, unlike your 'friendship' to this guy which started after meeting him once and exchanging numbers.
You can simply ask him out on a date. Dont be too straightforward. Just suggest that you should hang out together sometime. Or tell him you are feeling down and just want some company. I am sure he wont refuse. See, its so easy.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
broken1
Yes, he might be interested in you. Men dont seek out friendships with women just for the sake of friendships. Friendships are supposed to grow naturally, over time, due to regular interaction and shared interests/goals, unlike your 'friendship' to this guy which started after meeting him once and exchanging numbers.
You can simply ask him out on a date. Dont be too straightforward. Just suggest that you should hang out together sometime. Or tell him you are feeling down and just want some company. I am sure he wont refuse. See, its so easy.
really?
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Man invented whatsapp
Woman invented 'last seen'.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Man invented whatsapp Woman invented 'last seen'.
haha.. nice one!
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Okay here we go!
So let me get this straight. For starters I don't care if you have met this guy or not...but 6 months of communication is substantial. Now you are falling for him right? I don't see the harm in that, so you like this guy, or have "interest" in this party. I should say take a leap of faith and just tell him, regardless of whether he may or may not feel the same way. Don't live your life in fear. Why would you be afraid to tell someone that you are interested in them? Because you'll lose them? So stupid. ahhh alas...the ironies of the human psyche.
Agree!. if you gota feeling then tell him. I hate the fact that..you don't tell someone you like.
Hahhahhahhahahhahahaga 
I cant stop laughing:rotfl:
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Have you ever met him in real life!??
wrong question to ask
right question is: how old are you?
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
wrong question to ask
right question is: how old are you?
Worst ASL ever.
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Hi everyone! I badly need you ppl's advise..... plsssss help! There's this friend of mine with whom I am friend with for the last 6 months. We have been chatting regularly on WhatsApp. It has been purely friendship between us and nothing else. But for the last few days, I feel I have started falling for him, like, I have started liking him as more than friends. But I don't think this is what he feels for me. He stays online on WhatsApp quite often. I asked him few times if he has other female friends and as per him, he does not have. That may not necessarily be true. But it has started to destruct my peace of mind. And because of that, I have unnecessarily started quarrelling with him . He acts just cool about it. If I angrily tell him bye, he replies as bye and there would be no contact between us for 4-5 days till he messages me again. Now, what do I do? Am I over-reacting? Or shall I end the friendship with him and move on? Because I do not want to openly tell him that I like him, and also, I won't be able to tolerate to see him with someone else. Please advise.
He is a fake guy.... you will destroy your life while thinking of him so please let him go.... the people who act like this they are pretty sure about other person is liking or in love with him/her ....
Re: Feelings for a friend: what to do....
Hi everyone! I badly need you ppl's advise..... plsssss help! There's this friend of mine with whom I am friend with for the last 6 months. We have been chatting regularly on WhatsApp. It has been purely friendship between us and nothing else. But for the last few days, I feel I have started falling for him, like, I have started liking him as more than friends. But I don't think this is what he feels for me. He stays online on WhatsApp quite often. I asked him few times if he has other female friends and as per him, he does not have. That may not necessarily be true. But it has started to destruct my peace of mind. And because of that, I have unnecessarily started quarrelling with him . He acts just cool about it. If I angrily tell him bye, he replies as bye and there would be no contact between us for 4-5 days till he messages me again. Now, what do I do? Am I over-reacting? Or shall I end the friendship with him and move on? Because I do not want to openly tell him that I like him, and also, I won't be able to tolerate to see him with someone else. Please advise.
The sentences in bold are where you went wrong.
Constantly checking if he's online. Thats crazy.
Does he have other female friends. You mean like you? Why does it matter if he does?
You're fighting with him. YOUR PROBLEM is now starting to have a negative impact on your friendship. Keep your emotions in check and don't let them get the better of you. You fight with him for no reason.
This is why he just so easily says bye and doesn't worry.
If you have feelings for him, tell him. It's better than you progressively destroying your friendship with him because you cannot control your own emotions.
Some hard truths there. Digest it. Harden up.