Hi everyone
I’m here again for your advice I’m feeling really down and I feel I am the worst sinner in this earth.
We had an argument again about the past (please read my previous posts)
My husband said some harsh words to me he said on judgement day you will be called and be ashamed and will be in a very bad state and painfully be punished.
Because he believes he and the other women had done nothing wrong and that they use to have innocent chats everyday for the past 2 years and I ruined her image front of all our family.
I’m still living with him because if my kids and it really hurts knowing that my husband wants me to be humiliated on judgement day.
I don’t know what to do I’m having suicidle thoughts.
What have I done wrong why is he making me the bad one. Don’t know what to do.
Re: Feeling really down
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time, and I hope things improve soon.
According to you, he's repeatedly disrespected you, hid things from you, and is now blaming you. And you want to stay with him.
So of course you're going to feel down. This is a really bad situation, but you seem to think you can't have anything better, so somehow you have to learn to live with it.
Or accept the fact that YOU need to step up, stand up for yourself, and make changes for the better. No one is going to do it for you unfortunately. You are the adult, you are the wife, you are the mother. You can take control and improve your life.
Re: Feeling really down
**I'm still living with him because if my kids **and it really hurts knowing that my husband wants me to be humiliated on judgement day. I don't know what to do I'm having suicidle thoughts.
In addition to what S02 wrote above, I wanted to add that if you are not willing to leave him b/c of your kids, then I hope you realize that suicide (ie. leaving this world) isn't a option either for the same reasons.
Re: Feeling really down
HI shareen, I haven't read your previous threads/posts but from this post of yours I can make out that he knows very well what he is doing is wrong but he wants to suppress you by calling you wrong like apni ghlation pay parda dalna by calling you wrong.....and then starts believing on it.
You cannot leave him because of your kids and for you i feel the only solution is finding life of your own and IGNORING him..IGNORING everything he does by becoming financially , mentally and physically independent. You have to do this for your own sukoon.
Read Quran and try to understand it and see if any of your acts will humiliate you infront of Allah , no human being in this world can predict what will happen in grave or judgement day, it's solely Allah's discretion and His wisdom/knowledge and we neither have the ability to understand His decisions nor have the authority . So don't take these things to your heart and tell your husband to worry about his own judgement day rather than yours.
Suicide is haram and you need to be around for your kids , you cannot leave your kids at the mercy of your husband and above all you are important so is your life and you've every right to live it and live it to the full.
Re: Feeling really down
You should talk to your husband again and explain how you feel if roles were the other way around he'd be mad just as much as u
Re: Feeling really down
First off, you need to realize, he's the one committing crimes, and that he will be punished in the afterlife, and that he is projecting this onto you, so he can get the guilt off his shoulders. He wants to play victim. The minute you truly realize this and believe it, you're going to look at him like he's a sick grovelling rat, and you will have the strength to inform your kids of what has happened and take them away from him.
Re: Feeling really down
Here is something that might make you feel better.
Allah does not humiliate someone on the wishes of other people. People will be judged on the basis of their own deed.
I did not read your previous post but it seems like you have talked about his wrongdoings in public (or within family). I always tell people that IF you have decided to take some matter out to family, you MUST solve it then and not leave it hanging in balance. So either try to solve it b/w couple but if you took it to others PLEASE come to some sort of conclusion or solution.
Re: Feeling really down
On this planet these days the guilty get off Scott free and the innocent is punished. Your husband is delusional if he thinks Allah's judgement is going to be flawed. talking to random women everyday is not normal husband behaviour. It is severely out of bounds in Islam especially because of the covert nature. So by both worldly forms of husband behaviour and Allah's guidance you are in the right. Don't let him confuse you into thinking his actions have any moral superiority.
You will be the accuser on the day of judgment not him. He should be afraid not you.
It's not going to be easy but you need to start making plans for the future. Make a decision if you're going to live with your whole heart or going to leave him. Honestly children know everything and if there is tension between parents or if they're depressed they will know. Your children are not going to be happy or healthy in such a toxic environment. So if you stay with your husband don't make children your excuse. Do it if you forgive otherwise leave him.
Re: Feeling really down
I don't want to repeat what the others said. But its exactly that.
You need to either leave him and take ur children with you ( best option) its very difficult yes but there is no way he seems as if he even thinks he has done anything wrong. So being remorseful is out of the question.
He is wrong.
U t right.
Pray for urself and kids and do not think about suicide.haram. and what about ur children