Thanks for the reply. That's true. She does want to get married but to the person who knows his responsibility to be the primary breadwinner.
She had broken her previous engagement because the guy's entire family was mainly looking at her to be the main income provider.
I wonder why is life so complicated for some people unlike others who get the basic things in life so easily.
It's interesting that you say that because I've had that exact thought many times in my life. My mom always says that you can never tell about a person by looking at them. I find this to be more and more true as I get older. My husband and I often get told we are very lucky MA and that we live a charmed life. However, they don't know the struggles we face in our personal life. Our life is vey good alhamdolillah but we have a lot of issues to go with it as well. Just some food for thought.
Thanks diamond and Nat's
Well, GS is the only place where I can talk and share my thoughts openly . feel good to be part of this forum
I wish people start thinking beyond looks especially in a child case. Unfortunately (what else can I say after seeing my MIL reaction ) my daughter is ditto copy of me, my complexion and my features. May be u people won't beleive but its true that her grandmother does not like or pamper her the way she does her other grand children who r quite GORAY than my daughter
Slowly this complexion complex has started lowering down my inner confidence and self esteem , I literally can't tolerate when someone criticizingly looks at my daughter
Sigh!
Well, chaiwali I would advise you to not get worried over this rishtas matter. IA Allah will bestow u
hugs I'm so sorry to hear about your in laws. Such people will keep saying stuff no matter what. My grandma is similar though maybe not as bad as your in laws. My mother was from a well off family and she brought a lot of jahez with her. However she has to put up with criticisms to this day (27 years later) about how she didn't bring a house with her or a car with her. My dad intervenes at times but it does no good. All you can do is establish a good relationship with your husband and children and learn to ignore those who don't value you. Teach your children to value themselves and try to get your confidence back. After all, you're obviously very accomplished at work to be earning a good salary. Let criticisms go in ear and out the other. Focus on the good and not the bad. A dog you can, try to move out. A negative environment like that is not good for raising your children in. If you ever want to talk, you have a friend in me :)
You are absolutely right that it's the guy's responsibility to care of the household financially.
Yes she is in her 30s n doesn't get good rishtas anymore. Still she trusts Allah and says that miracles do happen. Hoping IA that she will find the guy she deserves soon.
Well, I don't know if she's right or wrong, but if the rishta is following islamic principals he should focus more on her deen than her job.
Not to mention it's up to the guy to be the bread winner islamically, whatever the girl makes in her job is her choice. I think if anything, the guys should just focus on, in case he/she loses his job or dies that the mom can make money and be able to support the kids. If she doesn't want to work its her prerogative. But, usually guys like these are out of the market really fast and even if they are still in, the are probably going to be marrying younger.
But their are guys out there who are willing to be the bread winners/make alot of money and don't really care for the girls income, unfortunately their priorities are more that she can cook/clean and take care of the children and be smoking hot.
So I think your friend is out of luck if you look at the percentages.
The guy's she getting now are those who value money/looks and obviously the marriage market is not on her side, sure their is probably 1% still out their and she's waiting for that 1%, but not sure if she's find him.
Wishing for lots of happiness in your life. May God ease the lives of all aaameen.
It's interesting that you say that because I've had that exact thought many times in my life. My mom always says that you can never tell about a person by looking at them. I find this to be more and more true as I get older. My husband and I often get told we are very lucky MA and that we live a charmed life. However, they don't know the struggles we face in our personal life. Our life is vey good alhamdolillah but we have a lot of issues to go with it as well. Just some food for thought.
