feeling jealous and irritated

[ll_xx_ll]

@redvelvet

You best snap yourself out of this attitude soon, because this is exactly the type of mentality that has the potential to create problems with in-laws. In fact, in the few desi dramas where the DIL is portrayed as the antagonist…it’s because of such mentality.

You wouldn’t like it if your husband begrudged you spending time with your family (whether on the phone or in person)…and you wouldn’t like it if he disapproved of you spending some money on your family. Yes,…to a certain extent…it’s flattering to know that one’s spouse loves them very much and wants him/her all to themselves. But after a certain point, it’s not flattering…it makes a person look needy…and that is usually a turn-off for both genders.

Also, why do you get so possessive when he’s interacting with his family? That’s what you need to analyze. Are you afraid that you’re not important enough to him? Your feelings might be stemming from some insecurity or fear.

Try to understand that his family was in life for a much longer time before he started getting to know you on a deeper level. And his relationship with them is DIFFERENT from his relationship with you. The relationship he has with his parents and siblings CANNOT even be compared to his relationship with you. The interactions, expectations, and rights are all different. It’s like comparing apples to oranges and it can’t be done. This is the root cause of why MILS and DILS start hating on each other. One thinks the other is more loved. They fail to comprehend that the “love” one has toward their parents/siblings is different from what one feels for their spouse.

As far as spending money on his family is concerned…it shouldn’t be a problem as long as he’s not neglecting his financial responsibilities toward the marriage. And i think it is said Allah wants us to spend money on our loved ones. Spend on others, and Allah will spend on you.

You’re blessed, Nadz. When you read some of the horror stories about in-laws in this forum…you don’t have to deal with that crap. Your MIL might not be the most warmest/fuzziest/lovey-dovey person around but she’s not making your life miserable either. If thins are going FINE in your marriage right now (MashaAllah)…why on earth are you allowing yourself to develop negative attitudes that could potentially ruin things?

It’s one thing if someone else is messing up your life on purpose…but it’s another thing when you’re playing with fire yourself. You’re better/smarter than that.

someone please explain that to my MIL so she wont make my life miserable

nadz ur going to drive ur hubby away please control urself…he is urs man he is ur husband and no one else’s …he;s going to spend the rest of his natural life with u man…n isnt it wonderful u dont have to live with ur in laws? so he wnats to talk to them whats wrong with that? you cant isolate him…

let me tell u a secret even if you succeed in blocking his family off from him you will not be happy u know why? kyunki harr insaan ko uska harr ek rishta complete karta hai..if you take his reltions away from him you will be taking a part of him away from him…so dont do that in the end u will be the loser whereas if you give him space he will love u all the more for it.

as far as supporting his family…well as long as he is supporting you too…dont let that get to you,kyunki unki family ka bhi haqq hai bohot zyada…u wud help ur family too if u were in his shoes na?