Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
sweet_iez55
Is this guy really worth you being so tense over? Is he even tensed about you? Did no one even read your post, after you accussed him of being with another girl, he said hes gonna send over his parents, (Which was jus a thing to basically shut u up, He had no plans to ever send his parents) And then he sent his sisters?????
Wth is up with that?? Seriously if this guy loves you he would convince his mum and tell her to ATLEAST give you a chance , by meeting you and seeing what your really like.
Even you said she's judged you and hasnt even met you. Do you really wanna go into this?? If you wanna pray to Allah about something, Pray to him to give you some sense (Not being harsh) But you gotta realise this guy is unreal!!
How did you feel that he sent his sisters not his parents? Hes a joke!
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
Hmmmm! Jis pr guzarti hay usi ko pata hota hay or koi kiya tasli de sakta hay.
If he love u and u love him to wait karo miracle hone ka. Hamari dua'ain aap ke saath hain. Yeh faisalay life time k hotain hain not 4 few days. Is liyeh us ki mom ka reject karna, app ke 'love' ka new business establish karna, travel karna all are going 'Allah SWT' ki marzi se so wait don't rush to cross flood, wait till the level of floods go down or u can find a path to cross.
okay care to explain as to how the guy is at fault, if the mother chose not to go and she only sent the sisters in, that was a sign that the mother was not interested from the get go, agreed, and that the girl for sure is going to face a lotta trouble, however the guy invited the girls whole family to the sisters wedding, again i have no idea how ppl are concluding that the guy is not interested. And as you can see the guy has not given up, so i dunno how he is the villian :k:
erm jus because he has approached her mother saying he wants to get married to her doesnt mean anything. trust me! Its the father you have to approach, Mothers wont do anything unless the fathers know.
Why did he say hes gonna send his parents but then sent his sisters? What exactly is the point in that?
Are you serious? The guys not at fault?
What?? The guy is not bloody interested! Simple!
Someone PLEASE answer me the question that is bold and underline'd.
And kaun please, its not about being sexist so leave it out
Can't you read? He never said he's sending his parents. He just said his family. Family can be anyone INCLUDING sisters.
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
@sweet-iez55 : the central point of concern is if its really possible for you to marry that guy. m raising this hypotheses on the assumption that he is really a very nice guy and that you cannot live without him.
well, just consider he is very nice, sacrificing and considerate person about you. one day he sent his sisters to your home, instead of his mother and despite knowing that his mother hasn't even known you before; he just surrendered in favour of his mother's opinion, which in the first place doesn't make any sense.
he might be in true love with you, but he couldn't take a stand for you, even for once???!!!
now even if he is in ture love with you, how can you spend life with such a person who can't convince his mother in your favour even for once???!!!
i know that you yourself understand all this, but i also know that in such a situation its really very painful. only thing is to give it time and forget him. he isn't worth your tears, believe me.
i assure you, you will get over it, and will get someone a lot better than him. give it time & be patient.
all the best
Can't you read? He never said he's sending his parents. He just said his family. Family can be anyone INCLUDING sisters.
are you thick? Can sisters actually DO anything on this matter? err NO! like i said only parents together can! You would think if your boyfriend said hes gonna send his family, you wudnt expect him to send his bloody sisters.
How exactly does inviting them to the wedding make it a good reason that hes not a ‘villian’?? That doesnt proove anything their gonna be some random people at a wedding that the family aint even gonna bother talkin too.
And send over the sisters instead of ‘family’ meaning PARENTS. As the
sweet_iez55 said when he said this i was shocked, but he only sent his sisters, and one was even laughing all the way thru.
Umm.. great.
sweet_iez55 again i ask you is he even worth it? He seems like he jus does these little things to get you off his back.
are you thick? Can sisters actually DO anything on this matter? err NO! like i said only parents together can! You would think if your boyfriend said hes gonna send his family, you wudnt expect him to send his bloody sisters.
No I'm not thick, take a look at yourself first love.
Anyway to the OP, his sisters obviously came first to check you out so they could 'report' back to his mother. This is how I've often seen it work. It's not always the parents that first turn up but female members of the family that start the initial process and do 'investigation' and then obviously involve the Father and other males when it comes down to actually asking about the rishta etc. When my friend from uni got engaged he got his sisters to meet his gf and her Mother and sisters first to see what they all thought of each other before he even got his parents involved. Before you start to despair I think you should keep in mind the fact that this guy does obviously want to marry you because if he didn't he wouldn't bother meeting your family or even sending any of his family members to your house. Lets be real about this no one in this day and age has the time or inclination to do 'natak' of just sending family around and pretending to do rishta if they are not actually serious about marriage. He obviously does want to marry you because if he didn't he could just turn around and tell you to get lost, why would he involve his family and get them to see you?
It's a totally different matter that his mother doesn't approve, probably because she wanted to hand pick her daughter in law. I don't see how any of this is his fault, if anything he is the one caught in the middle. Leave it to him to convince his Mother and if he can't then he will either marry you without his parent's approval or he will forget the whole thing. There is not much YOU can do, this is his choice to make. I wish you all the best, if he is in your kismat then he will be yours no matter what. :)
MB all i am saying is i am putting myself in the guys shoes and i am defending him because if i am not serious about a girl i wont even bother talking to my family about her let alone sending my sisters there, it shows clearly that the mom had a disagreement with the fact that he likes a girl and the sisters most probably supported the brother and thus decided to go and talk to the family and maybe it is just the mom who is against and that is the case in most instances, no where did the SWEET mention that the guy is not trying or has given up, on the other hand i dont agree with the notion either that the girl should marry him blindly as the mum is already disagreeing and its only going to get rough as every mom wants to choose her daughter in law and generally doesnot like her aankhon ka taara choose someone himself but i still do not agree with you saying the guy is not serious based on SWEETS post :k:
No I'm not thick, take a look at yourself first love.
Anyway to the OP, his sisters obviously came first to check you out so they could 'report' back to his mother. This is how I've often seen it work. It's not always the parents that first turn up but female members of the family that start the initial process and do 'investigation' and then obviously involve the Father and other males when it comes down to actually asking about the rishta etc. When my friend from uni got engaged he got his sisters to meet his gf and her Mother and sisters first to see what they all thought of each other before he even got his parents involved. Before you start to despair I think you should keep in mind the fact that this guy does obviously want to marry you because if he didn't he wouldn't bother meeting your family or even sending any of his family members to your house. Lets be real about this no one in this day and age has the time or inclination to do 'natak' of just sending family around and pretending to do rishta if they are not actually serious about marriage. He obviously does want to marry you because if he didn't he could just turn around and tell you to get lost, why would he involve his family and get them to see you?
It's a totally different matter that his mother doesn't approve, probably because she wanted to hand pick her daughter in law. I don't see how any of this is his fault, if anything he is the one caught in the middle. Leave it to him to convince his Mother and if he can't then he will either marry you without his parent's approval or he will forget the whole thing. There is not much YOU can do, this is his choice to make. I wish you all the best, if he is in your kismat then he will be yours no matter what. :)
i agree with this sweet_iez55 u need to think about this carefully and don't get blinded by the fact that his sisters came first instead of his mum n dad. if he didnt want u its much easier for him to tell u to 'F OFF' rather than getting family involved and making a bigger mess for himself if hes not serious. it does look like to me he's making the effort so just let him handle his mum and convice her n i hope it all works out for u hun.
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
sweet_iez55, Do you wanna put your input in this?
Was you not expecting his parents to come along? Or was you content with his sisters, and the immature one that was 'laughing all the way thru it'
I've known people that have introduced their girl to the mum and nothing has happend, They just do it to keep the girl off the back.
If i was to have a rishta i would want it str8 up frm the parents not here n there with the sisters because what i've seen ALOT of times, Sisters can be VERY jealous, and cling on to their brother more than anything.
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
Yeah you're right it is two different things but it's not the end of the world if the whole khandan didn't turn up, that doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry her.
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
He sent his sisters and not his parents because his mother refused to go. What happened is: when he told his parents about you, they opposed strongly. But by that time, he had already promised you that his family was coming over.
With a lot of convincing and hungama, his sisters were allowed to go. His mother decided to send the sisters and no one else because she wants to send a message to you: she doesnt want you. The elder sister was mature enough to be nice to you but the younger one was obviously not and gave away the family's attitude by laughing so obviously.
What will you do now? Will you marry someone whose family is so obviously opposed to you? There is another member here, Disturbed Angel or someone...talk to her. She married someone she loved even though the family wasnt exactly happy with it. Things changed and not for the better.
If you marry him, you cannot live with his family...at least not right away. And if that happens, you will have to get him to stand up to his family and protect you. If he doesnt take care of this on his own now, he will NOT do it later. Talk to him about it, see what he has to say and then leave him to take care of his family situation. Do NOT marry him if he cannot handle his family.
I repeat: please dont marry him thinking everything will be fine later.
Re: feeling depressed ........, what shud I do now :S
hi all,thanks u all for putting ur inputs,
no he is not the only son, they are 3 sis n 2 bro, he is at 2nd, all sis are married n bro is yungest,
i forgot to mention the most Important thing abt him, actually since this happened, he has left his home, n living at him friends place as a protest for not approving me, he said his mom is not giving any reason for rejactiong me, just saying " is baray mai koi bat nahe karo" :S,
Now he is at his frnds place in Malaysia, as his family is in pak, n sis in UK, basically he was living with his sis in uk, but right after this event happen he moved to Malaysia n not talking to his any family member
he even called me n asked me ristrictedly not to give his family a clew where he is now, means he didnt even tell him family where is he living, he's not talking to him family, his family keeps calling n texting
well this shaows he really cares 4 me n loves me deeply,i m glad abt this :) but again its his choice what he'll b gonna choosing, ME or his family :(