I’ve been ill for a long time. during my illness I kept telling ppl around me that I am drained and dont have energy and therefore couldnt meed/talk on phone. In some cases I said that I will return their calls once I feel better. At some times I felt so depressed and frustrated that I have spoken opnely with the wrong persons. And now I am sitting here and regreting why I spoke to those persons.
I returned the calls of one person and found out that she got new number but didnt bother to share it with me. I contacted her via facebook AND text message that I have tried calling her but her number is off but she didnt respond. At the same time I know that she has been calling another friend of mine so I know that she isnt too busy for others, only for me. This same person would call me at odd hours, like EARLY morning or VERY LATE night only to speak of matters that were just too childish but I still kept on listening to her considering her lonliness and need to talk to someone eventhough it was effecting my quality time with my husband.
In the other case I have been so stupid to vein my frustrations regarding my SIL to my SIL’s ex-friend who at that time seemed so understanding , but now when they have become friends again this person suddenly is not speaking to me anymore. I feel so stupid and feel used. Every time she needed help, she would call me or my husband and deep down I knew that she was exploiting us but I helped her thinking that Allah rewards one of good action. And I feel so stupid for having spoken about my SIL to her ex-friend. Now I fear that she will tell my SIL what I said and it will just create hell for me!!!its not that I have said something very bad but just the fact that I shared my frustration can be enough for SIL to get angry with me.
I just want to cut off bonds with all these ppl even with those ppl who might have a link to these and might share my stuff with them. I just want to hide away from such ppl!!
At the same time I feel such a great need to have one good friend with whom I can share everything with without fearing that my trust would be shattered. so far I have been so not lucky with friends and I have started thinking if something is wrong with me!!!
Please don’t feel alone.. it’s something very temporary and I am sure that in no time, you will feel better again. Where’s your husband in all this? Why don’t you talk to him when you feel sad or alone? He’s not only your husband but also your best friend. Again, don’t worry hun.. you cannot let other people get to you. Look around you, I am sure there are many positive and good people who you can associate with and the first and foremost one is your husband Cheer up!!!
Until recently I didnt want to tell my husband. I didnt want him to have a negative impression of my friends in case things worked out between us. But I spoke to him recently about it and he being the good guy tried to rationalize it all and tried to make me think positive of them even though he could see that it was plain selfishness from their side.
I have told him about SIL's ex-friend in case she tries to create problems!
Chameli, why do you trust people like this? Your SIL's ex friend cannot possibly be a good confidante! I realize you need to share burdens at times and want to help ppl as much as possible BUT why do you choose ppl who cannot have your best interest at heart?
You've posted before and Ive told you before as well that you need to observe, watch, know and understand people and the people around those people before you start talking about personal things! Things that can be used against you in ANY way, shape or form are only for family and super-duper-uber close friends.
Maybe you are expecting too much too soon from people? It seems that way to me.
Chameli, why do you trust people like this? Your SIL's ex friend cannot possibly be a good confidante! I realize you need to share burdens at times and want to help ppl as much as possible BUT why do you choose ppl who cannot have your best interest at heart?
You've posted before and Ive told you before as well that you need to observe, watch, know and understand people and the people around those people before you start talking about personal things! Things that can be used against you in ANY way, shape or form are only for family and super-duper-uber close friends.
Maybe you are expecting too much too soon from people? It seems that way to me.
I expect a lot from those I am comitteed to as friend. I can do everything for my friends and expect the same from them.
In this particular case, yes u r right . I havent been very smart to think that she could be a good friend to me when she wasnt being a good friend to SIL..totally crap!!
I can observe ppl and still I am unable to analyse some desi tactics...
i know how u feel av been in the same boat as u - my ex broke my trust and other family/frnds now i pick my frnds and watch wot i say to them av learned my mistakes - i tend not to share my feeling with every1 - best to write um down etc. maan when i think wot i went through it was bad am glad am out of it thx to almighty Allah.
Shame man. If you need to talk, talk to family - parents, siblings etc.
Your illness - chronic fatigue is a symptom of depression.
I dont have fatigue as illness but as a consequense of another illness which is physical and not depression related.
Talking to parents isnt possible. Siblings live in another country and are busy with their babies. they hardly call cuz of busy schedule. Being alone in new country hasnt been easy for me so I fell into the trap. been stupid, yes I know....
Cheer up!!!