this has been eating at me, so i need to vent! my family/friends says i looked fine, but they have to cuz that’s just how it goes with your relations…
i had my mehndi the nite before my shaadi- the mehndi was a DIY venture and BIG MISTAKE i was the only one who knew everything that was supposed to go on, as in set-up and food and everything etc.. i was run ragged and showed up a couple hrs late for the mehndi and my poor mom was left to finish everything at the hall and had to change in the bathroom there feel so bad about that
then after the mehndi my suitcase was left across town from the hotel, and i had to go get it myself and it was nearing 1 am by then… so i only got 3 maybe 4 hours of sleep, and the wedding day i was crampin from period (i tried to stop it from coming with birth control pills- just immediately starting a new pack, but it was my first time doing that and my body didn’t like it any brides-to-be that want to do this- i suggest you start on the pill a few months early and try stopping your period at least once before you do it for the wedding)- and i had a migraine! i went very early to get my hair done (10am)- ladiez i cannot even tell you how purely and utterly EXHAUSTED i was-- i was sittin in the salon chair like a zombie- and thinkin i didn’t like what the girl was doin to me, but i was so out of it i didn’t even say anything! another BIG MISTAKE- it’s funny in the pics from the salon you see me lookin in the mirror with a scowl on my face-- ahhhhhh why didn’t i SAY something???
so i get back to the hotel for makeup and i can’t even take a breather- i had to get my makeup out and then the artist came and was waitin for me- she caked on the foundation (and i don’t need a lot- i have nice skin), and my eyes were barely done up- my cheeks were just a fluff of pink (no contouring- which i specifically asked for) and lips were nude and looked dry it makes it worse that i am a TOTAL makeup junkie and i am quite good at doing my makeup and i ended up looking like crap.. so i’m in pain and dead tired, and now all these people somehow find which hotel room i’m in and decide to come there- so there’s at least 15 ppl in my room- i put my dress on in the closet!
and throughout all of this i was gettin call after call after call on my cell with questions, giving instructions etc..
i didn’t look ANYTHING like what i imagined i’d look like on my wedding day, and it is eating and eating at me (it’s been nearly 3 mo now) i just can’t believe nobody said fix your hair or put on more makeup or anything! i spent a long time plannin the wedding and the wedding itself turned out BEAUTIFUL, but i did not i can’t get over it…
these are the lessons brides-to-be should learn from me:
assign all of the tasks to your family and friends well before the wedding- make sure they are clear on the game plan
hire people to do as much of the work as your budget will allow
do a hair and makeup trial (i didn’t and just assumed all would be ok if the ppl are professionals, but it obv wasn’t)
together w/ #3- if the artist isn’t doing what you want, don’t be afraid to SAY it- they aren’t your friend, you are paying them
get plenty of sleep!
if you’re prone to headaches- take 2 advil when you wake up to keep them from coming on
if you know you’ll get your period during the wedding- start on bc early
keep your prepping location a secret to everyone except the people you want with you while you’re getting ready- if other people show up- KICK THEM OUT- they will drive you mad
have a stylish friend or relative that is honest and who you trust to tell you if your hair and makeup and overall look are working for you- this is very important!
i still have my walima yet to “make up” for it- but my side of the family won’t be there since it’s far far away from my hometown..
anyone else want to share a similar experience? we can all try to make each other feel better
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
:(
This is my biggest fear for my wedding day. I am the one who ran the show at my sisters wedding, but I DO NOT WANT ALL the responsibility on my OWN wedding. So your point one is critical, if the bride is going to enjoy her day.
Also going back to how you felt on your wedding day, I think a lot of it had to do with the way you felt inside. When you're not happy, not fully awake, STRESSED, it's only going to make you feel ugly 100x more. I am sure if you looked THAT bad someone would have pointed it out (to change the hair/ makeup, etc.).
So now you have you're valima to look forward too, and iA' a very happy married life. And nothing is more important than a great marriage, even if your wedding pictures aren't so great.
Also, I wanted to suggest, you and your husband can dress up again, for a photoshoot. Pick an exotic location, you're favorite make-up artist. Maybe your six month anniversary, and you can make it all romantic too. And use those professional pictures as your main wedding pictures. (This is something I want to do anyway. The "trash the dress" idea, but not trash it, but do something interesting.) In your case I think it will make you feel much better.
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. lessons…
i had my mehndi appointment a day before my wedding at 7pm we were out shopping for curtains in pakistan when my mom received a phone call at 6:40pm from the salon we thought they are calling to confirm the appointment but NO the lady called saying ’ ji hamari saari mehndi lagane wali larkiyan ghar jaa chuki hai ’ my mom yelled at her for letting us down last minute even though we called them like 3 times during the week to confirm and even went there to book an official appointment…blah so since we didnt know where to go now the store owner was listening to our convo and said some aunty at her house puts REALLY good mehndi on and called her up for us and she said '9’o clock a jao we asked if we could come earlier and she said main busy hoon.. i was very nervous anywhoo we went there i told my sister to get her mehndi done first in case i didnt like it … and i didnt i bet i could do better BUT i had no choice so i sat down and it was really chilly at her house for some reason.. 1st house in pakistan i felt cold in and on top of that she turned the FAN on i told her to turn it off but she didnt listen and said my mehndi will dry faster.. so finally we were done by 1am and went to our rented house.. went to sleep at 2am and woke up at 4am thrrowing up and yes my mehndi was RUINED!!! aaah i was so upset but at that point nothing could have been done i cried and my daddy hugged me and told me to go back to sleep.
wedding day.. i had 4 ladies working on me and it seemed like they had NO experience what so ever and geez all those questions they were throwing at me.. starting ‘aap canada mein kahan se ayi hai’ the lady started doing a side bang style on my hair and i told her not to becasue i had a tikka she kind of ignored me but when i started getting off my chair she fixed it BUT she ended up doing that on my walima saying different lago gi..
overall i wasnt pleased with the salon.. the girls werent proffesional eventhough it was a popular salon in islamabad can’t remeber the name
sometimes i feel i sould get re-married to my husband
good luck to all ladies getting married just get your trials done i didnt becasue when i went it to see the parlor the ladies were doing a really good job at the brides that day..
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
Thats one thing I'm really worried about because i don't wear too much make up anyway and obviously for wedding you wear a lot so I'm worried because they might make me look like a clown? and i think its really unprofessional when a MUA knows whats best? and is like no no do it this way when clearly brides do have an idea of what they want to look like!
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. lessons…
Awwie newbie2011
Im gonna read your whole post later but for now what i wanna say to you is that its over and done with. You wl feel it for few days or even months but you wl get over it. What matters more is that you are married now and iA are gonna have a happy life together with your husband. Focus on that and don’t let anything at all take away from your honeymoon period, lovey dovey days .
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
hire a planner, ladies! good planners-- and not novices who are just starting out or who are just too low-priced because you get what you pay for-- are worth every single penny and are only a small percentage of your overall budget. it is their job then to keep everything running smoothly and stress-free for you and your families. the money you save on DIY events that end up being mis-managed and chaotic just isn't worth the hassle, stress and the regrets later on.
i'm sorry your experience was so rough, newbie. i'd do as others have suggested and do a photoshoot with really good photographers. it'll give you a do-over of sorts.
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
my wedding planner will take care of everything....ive been from the girls side all my life (mostly) (we have a lot of girls in our family Mashallah) so my family are well prepared when its my turn :p plus im not one to make a fuss....and im a VERY organised person...
i hope your walima works out darling...all the best!! :) xxx
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
I think we all dream so much about our wedding day that when things are slightly derailed from the original; we think it all got ruined! I think that maybe you & many like you think they didnt look their best, i am sure they still looked very pretty if not out of the world. Its just that we picture perfection in our minds.
Put up your pictures and we'll be honest about how you look.
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
Awww I'm really sorry to hear that you didn't like the way you looked on your wedding day.
We are our own worst critics. I'm sure you didn't look as bad as you thought you looked. At the end of the day, I'm sure your hubby still thought you were the prettiest girl in the room.
That's really tough though and I can see why it is still upsetting you. Like others have suggested, please get your hair and makeup done again from a better makeup artist and go for a photoshoot with your hubby with a good photographer.
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
Mine was not so bad, however i did struggle with a lot of work, I have always been the one in the family who organises/arranges/makes decisions, and i was there all the time for all my family members, when it came to my turn my sisters were lost of what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember during the wedding constantly asking if they had done this and done that, and everybody making the wrong decisions, i was like, if you want something doing, do it yourself!
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
heyyy newbie i feel that no matter how hard u try everything to be perfect something or the other happens. i remember before my wedding, i started growing my eye brows so that i would have a nice shape but u wont believe it my eyebrows looked really bad on my wedding, i got them done from the girl who always does mine but i dont know what happened that day. i didn't notice them on the 3 days but when the pictures came in i was like what the he;; :( its been nearly a year to my wedding and i still repent that why didn't i look at my eyebrows and get them done again. but i think it was meant to happen...so u just relax and focus on ur present coz what gone is gone and u cant do anything to change it. i know it must hurt u whenever u see a perfect bride but its their luck and fate, maybe they are not as happy as u are in ur married life so i believe that these material things shouldn't matter much as after few months no one will even look at ur pics and they will keep lying in the cupboard :)
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. lessons…
Newbie and everyone else, SO sorry that happened. You shouldn’t feel like that at all.
But I can sorta relate. I felt really really bad after the wedding for not having great big decorations and hated my hair for my wedding ceremony. It didn’t look like me at all. I felt really weird the whole time. Wrote about my guilt here. Oh, and I forgot to try on my wedding sari blouse until the day before the wedding…OMG, it didn’t fit and that the first and only time I flipped out. Thank god some friends had been trolling the neighboorhood and had seen a tailor on the street. So 15 hours before our wedding, so friends and an aunt went to the street tailor and fixed my blouse. Thank goodness that worked out.
We also had a really ugly looking cake that, 1) showed up a day late because the wrong one was sent to us; 2) when the right cake came, half of it was smashed. Thank god the cake was delicious to eat though…
To say the least, everything else came out beautiful and my parents and in-laws couldn’t be happier.
I think brides feel a terrible guilt after a wedding. NOW, my biggest regret is not having more photos of my mom and grandma. * In the end, that’s what really matters - your family.*
And YES, have your family do the work. My parents, my aunts, a cousin, and my uncle did ALL the organizing once the wedding week started. Even my friends were with my dad helping fix things. I was still stressed out with 60 guests from abroad to entertain, but I was happy stress.
On a medical note, please don’t take BC to control/stop your periods without discussing it with a doctor. BC is a very strong hormonal medication.
if you are NOT happy with your makeup/hair…ask them to FIX it or do it all over again…you are paying them your hard earned money..you would rather arrive a bit late to your wedding then regret not saying /doing anything about it later…
Re: feel SAD- looked bad on my WEDDING DAY.. :( lessons...
sigh, unfortunately i too am apart of this club. my biggest mistake was taking on everything myself with my parents. even though i am so close with all of my cousins, not a single one of them was around to help me get ready, tell me how i "really" looked, or anything like that because i had taken on the role of "everything is under control" and was acting so calm on the outside when in reality all i wanted to do was break down and cry and just wished my family could of taken on some of the responsibility. thinking back on it now, being financially strained through out the entire wedding that i had just settled for most of the details because i didnt want my parents to feel any more financial pressure than we were already in and now looking back on it, it is such a blur because i have forced myself to forget about my entire wedding. i have not even been able to sit through my wedding video once it FINALLY came months later because i just want to move on from it. i too didnt tell my make up people that i didnt like what they were doing on my mehndi (i am okay with my wedding day, kinda,.. my stupid duppatta and hair girl was in a rush to leave because her boyfriend kept calling her ugh i should of been more demanding but i just dont know how to be. unfortunately my hubby had to get the brunt of it all a few days later on our honey moon where i cried almost every night because i was just so sad about so many things, in addition to already being sad that i was moving to a new country and was just missing my parents. yuck. i hate thinking about any of it, even now, and i just cant help but feel a little envious/ jealous that my cousins that are getting married after me are able to learn from everyones past mistakes and have the wedding of their dreams with enormous budgets. although now in hindsight, i'd spend even more limited money with limited guests and keep as much cash as i could for my life AFTER the wedding which you realize is more important after its all said and done. as long as you are happy with your choices AFTER its all over, does it make it really worth it. otherwise your just looking back on it with regrets. :(
im coming up to two years and my poor mom keeps asking me to make an album, i have still yet to make a photo album of my day because i wasnt really happy with the work or my bridal shots. but ill eventually get to it, just have been putting it off because i only really liked one picture of mine from the wedding day. it sucks because i do a little wedding photography myself and i just hate my own wedding photos of myself. sigh, what can you do. alhumdulillah i am so happy with my hubby though (inlaws are kind of annoying, actually a lot lol) but he is an amazing husband and so supportive that alhumdulillah i have stopped caring about all of that now for the most part. whats done is done right? because we still have the rest of our lives to look forward to right? it was ONE day, yes it may never come back, but life goes on. i think i've been able to take my own experience with me into some of my work because i like to tell my brides ahead of time to designate so and so for these certain tasks so i can follow their lead during a moment or many in their events, i am usually all up in a brides face trying to get as many pictures of her as i can, and i always tell them all to remember to SMILE at ALL times because we forget everything except for what is caught on camera forever. EVERYONE is stressed out and under pressure during their wedding but you wont even remember what your were stressing about once your pictures come back, so stay calm, stay collected, and no matter what is happening in front of you, just keep smiling and your beauty will shine through for itself! i have never really seen an "ugly" bride if i think about it!
feel so bad about that 
it makes it worse that i am a TOTAL makeup junkie and i am quite good at doing my makeup and i ended up looking like crap.. so i’m in pain and dead tired, and now all these people somehow find which hotel room i’m in and decide to come there- so there’s at least 15 ppl in my room- i put my dress on in the closet! 
my mom yelled at her for letting us down last minute even though we called them like 3 times during the week to confirm and even went there to book an official appointment…blah so since we didnt know where to go now the store owner was listening to our convo and said some aunty at her house puts REALLY good mehndi on and called her up for us and she said '9’o clock a jao we asked if we could come earlier and she said main busy hoon.. i was very nervous anywhoo we went there i told my sister to get her mehndi done first in case i didnt like it … and i didnt i bet i could do better BUT i had no choice so i sat down and it was really chilly at her house for some reason.. 1st house in pakistan i felt cold in and on top of that she turned the FAN on i told her to turn it off but she didnt listen and said my mehndi will dry faster.. so finally we were done by 1am and went to our rented house.. went to sleep at 2am and woke up at 4am thrrowing up 
and yes my mehndi was RUINED!!! aaah i was so upset but at that point nothing could have been done i cried and my daddy hugged me and told me to go back to sleep.
.
lessons…