Someone has to help me before i go insane here and lose my mind forever. My 3 month old daughter has developed this thing on eating. She does not like to eat at all whatsoever. I have tried to keep a 3 hour feeding/nap schedule and she barely takes 2 ozs at each feed. Some times she takes a full 4-5 oz feed but thats really rare. Since this morning, she has nursed for maybe 15 minutes total and have had 3 oz of expressed breast milk and its 4 in the afternoon. I just dont know what to do.
I have talked to her ped and they say to not let her snack so she eats a full feed every 3 hours. Well she doesnt. Alhamdulillah she is gaining weight just fine and does not seem to have reflux issues. She only cries when she is hungry or tired. She also has enought wet and dirty diapers. But i am not sure how to get her to eat more. She refuses to nurse directly unless she is half asleep or drowsy. Every meal time is such a struggle that i feel like i am going to lose my mind here.
Then you don't have anything to worry about. If she's meeting all her milestones than maybe it's just a phase she's going through. Just feed her whenever she takes it and soon she'll be back to a normal schedule.
Gosh! Ira, it's like you're going through each and everything I went through with Izzah. I know how you feel cuz that's how worried and depressed I was with her feeding issues. With her, we figured it was cuz of med, but you're not even giving your DD any med. The feeding problems did arise again while we were on vacation, but to be honest, we didn't worry too much. She hasn't been on med, but it still happened, so we figured it was just a phase. It eventually got better, and now she's back to normal. Could it be that your DD is going through a phase? I know how hard it is to not worry when you know that your baby should be eating more. I used to get angry with doctors when they'd tell me she won't let herself starve, but with time, I realized there's nothing I can do about her appetite. A baby just knows how much he/she wants. Unless she starts losing weight or develops other signs, I'd say try not to focus too much on it. Make smaller feeds if she's only eating a little. I'm absolutely sure she'll come around, insha'Allah. They always do. Hang in there!
Niksik and Seabee, thank you for your replies. I think today she was about to get dehydrated since her diapers werent really wet anymore and her urine was yellow tinged. I had hubs feed her from a bottle (he usually gives her a bottle before bed). And she finally took a 4 oz bottle before falling asleep. I am so worried and have made an appt with her ped for tomorrow to see what can be done.
Seabee, you are right, she isnt on any kind of medication, Alhamd. For some reason, she wont take a bottle from me but she will from hubs. Its so frustrating when she is crying and wont fall asleep because i know she is hungry. But as soon as you feed her, she will be like she is bayhosh. Obviously she needs to eat but doesnt.
Ugh. I will come back after tomorrow’s appt to see what the ped says. I am hoping someone can share more insights on this if they went through this with their DC. Not that i want anyone to go through the frustrating time period i am going through at the moment
Prayers for your little one Ira and good luck at the doc! My eldest son has had feeding issues since birth, its a very stressful thing to go thru....
Like Nik said, the biggest thing is not really how many ounces they eat but their growth and keeping an eye on diapers like you've been doing.
If you dont get good answers from your ped, you may want to have her checked out by a pediatric gastroenterologist. They'll look for things like reflux, constipation and gastroparesis (which is when the baby's system processes food too slowly so baby always feels full). They also usually take a stool sample to see if there may be parasites (my son had giardia for a long time, went undiagnosed till I switched docs).
But remember too, that your daughter's weight is good, as long as she's not dropping in her weight curve then she's probably just going thru a phase. Something that helped me was to print out an infant weight chart and I purchased a really good infant scale so I could keep an eye on weight myself.
Also, try new bottles. Sometimes the shape of the nipple or the size of the opening can make a big difference. Babies who dont like to eat also typically eat more and eat better when they're sleepy so try to get in her feeds at naptime.
Mamaof3, thanks a bunch for your reply! I took her to the docs yest. Her weight gain has been great over the past month maashaAllah so the ped gave me a bunch of different options to choose from to try. She said that some rare kids only eat in their sleep, or she can be stubborn, or it hurt in the past for her to eat so she has associated eating to pain. She said i could either try zantac and see if that helps but if she isnt hurting now, it wont help (i dont think she is hurting, Alhamd), or i could feed her while she is asleep although she didnt recommend it, take her to a lactation consultant to check her latch and/or an occupational therapist OR to not feed her forcefully like we have been doing and let her eat when she wants to.
I decided to try to feed as per demand and for as long as she wants to. So today, i didnt give any bottles except for a 2 oz feed in her sleep and then about 3 ozs before bedtime. She latched on a few times and ate some but not a lot and i am fine with that. Its progress in the sense that atleast she has tried. Never mind that she pulls of mostly crying after a bit
I will come back in a week or two to update inshaAllah. I hope and pray that she comes back to eating on her own. This has taken a toll on me.
ira.. been thru it. dont start on any meds cuz from the sound of it all, she doesnt have any issues.
aariz went thru 2 weeks of not wanting to feed!!! was totally on breastmilk and i thought he wasnt getting enuff.. i wanted to start formula but the doc wouldnt let me cuz then he wouldnt take to breast milk.. 2 weeks of feeding every 15 mins with him sleeping max an hour.. i went thru MAJOR POST PARTUM DEPRESSION. he cried, i cried, it was hell. thought he may have acid reflux cuz he would throw up his feed or be insanely hungry, cry for the boob and then cry when drinking before letting go... but turned out that it was just a phase.. his appetite mashllah is more than a normal one month olds, so had to start him on formula cuz i just didnt have enuff... but it still happens.. yesterday he sleep for 5 hours and then for 6 hours with only 4 oz feed!! 2 oz in the first sleep and 2 oz in the next. but ive given up on worrying cuz babies will let u know when they are hungry.. if they are gaining, and taking feeds when wanted, and not always throwing up, then everything is ok.
wish someone had given me a heads up on breastfeeding issues and the whole feeding a newborn chapter though!
The best thing to do is constantly remind yourself that its their weight and growth that matters most - not how much they eat or dont eat. Post a note where you can see it to remind yourself about this when your little one is going thru a phase! Its time to get to the doc and figure things out when the little one drops far on their weight curve, or if they dont have enough wet diapers and urine becomes dark. Otherwise, try not to worry so much and let the little one get thru their phase which Inshallah will pass quickly.
Someone has to help me before i go insane here and lose my mind forever. My 3 month old daughter has developed this thing on eating. She does not like to eat at all whatsoever. I have tried to keep a 3 hour feeding/nap schedule and she barely takes 2 ozs at each feed. Some times she takes a full 4-5 oz feed but thats really rare. Since this morning, she has nursed for maybe 15 minutes total and have had 3 oz of expressed breast milk and its 4 in the afternoon. I just dont know what to do.
I have talked to her ped and they say to not let her snack so she eats a full feed every 3 hours. Well she doesnt. Alhamdulillah she is gaining weight just fine and does not seem to have reflux issues. She only cries when she is hungry or tired. She also has enought wet and dirty diapers. But i am not sure how to get her to eat more. She refuses to nurse directly unless she is half asleep or drowsy. Every meal time is such a struggle that i feel like i am going to lose my mind here.
Please help!
Ira first of all don't worry that much it will affect a lot to you.
You daughter must be kamzor. Doesn't have that much energy so might be tired during feeds. Don't set a time whenever she will need she will cry for that. But some kids remain like so for even many years like tweens years. May be they do not feels that much hunger as others do.
As it happened to my sister her daughter was same like that. Might be she was too kamzor. They don't get eneough energy to ........ you know what I mean.
Try to add a few light things in her milk if she is few months old as I don't know her age so can't suggest.
But keep yourself stress free.
On other hand one of my sisters son was like eat a lot he is still like that and that girl is still skinny. Now she says I don't want to get fat.
My sister got tired and so stressed all her life but that girl still doesn't eat enough except a few things and once a day.
Ira, if she's gaining weight on her curve, then don't worry too much about it. Also, when feeding with a bottle, make your husband do it, some babies won't take a bottle from the bother because they can smell the real deal.
Thanks khawa and aahmed. The thing is that i think partly her weight is appropriate maashaAllah because we have to feed her against her will, mostly in her sleep. If she took milk from a bottle, i wouldnt have a problem but the thing is, she doesnt. I cant possibly keep her hungry till my husband gets home so he can feed her. For the past couple of days, she has ALhamd latched on. Howmuch she has eaten is another story, lol. I am hoping this phase ends soon. Also thinking of contacting the La Leache League.
That would be great if u did. U can tell how much milk u can squeeze out in say a min when u express. Babies suck harder so more milk comes out. Here mothers get trained at the hospital with great hands on breast feeding help but sometimes babies just dont latch on like mine. Takes it like 3 times in a day only. Hope its just a phase for her.
Ira, if you are in USA, you can also contact Early Intervention. They will send professionals to your home at no cost and once they evaluate and see if there is a problem they can help with, they send professional therapists to your home, also at no cost.
Inshallah, she will get over this and its just a phase but in the meantime, maybe look up EI in your area and have the number handy just in case!
Actually, theres a special type of bottle called a Haberman feeder that was designed for babies who have trouble latching on and sucking. It really works wonders! Heres a link for you:
