Fear

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@Straight_up

^ AE: I just want to say that you are one of the wise ones around here - you’ve definitely got a good head on your shoulder - you’ll make an invaluable spouse to anyone! No joke - don’t be afraid and just get married!!

…and post pics.

you know what? that was really sweet. Im touched. really I am : )
thanks!

@Spock

^ Namaan is a single pasli sukka ‘fake’ pahelwaan, and jaggu is a dhoti pahney walla villain, they wont make good bodyguards.

LL master yoda said: Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads ot hate. Hate leads to suffering!

so that leaves me with you?

Lois…when the right one comes along…you will know it. When that happens…the fear will be gone.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@Colourful eyes

Loisy im thinking same as u, especially reading all the stories on gs, and seeing how many people i knw get married, and dont get along:bummer: but then i suppose reading these kinda threads, and also by observing people around us. we get pointers for ourselves and learn from them..

and remember we all got to get married some day, cant be sitting around in ammie abba’s house all our lifes and wait for prince charming to come along..

not true

[Reha]

Re: Fear

I agree, experience may make people stuck in their ways, yes.

But I also find people who become much more accepting and.......less stubborn. I cant find the word Im looking for. They stop living in an idealistic world and become realists with a clear vision and a more practical approach.

To some it may seem like experienced people stop dreaming of a happy life but I think they open up their eyes to possibilities not seen before.

[CE]

@AnGeL_EyEs

not true

lol i always thought u was a guy, so u still in living in fairy land?:halo:

[njgal]

People on this board before my generation, did you guys have the same fear before getting married to a person who you hardly knew? Were there many divorce cases to be heard around, which added on to your fear if there was any?

Besides the fact that I knew my husband, I talked to him every day for 2 years - on the day of my nikkah I was so terrified. That's natural. I was extremely excited about beggining a new chapter of my life but I was also very terrified of living with someone besides my parents in a new state and city.

Just like you pray for everything else in life - (success, parents, etc) you have to pray for your mariage too. Make dua that Allah brings out the best in your two and there is "behtari" for everyone.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@Colourful eyes

lol i always thought u was a guy, so u still in living in fairy land?:halo:

angel eyes is such feminine name tho.

anyway…

no i am not living in fairy land…but I do however think that if you dont have that gut feeling about someone then you shouldnt have to settle just for the sake of being married and pleasing others.

I am a realist…but I refuse to marry just because someone looks good on paper.

[Niksik]

Re: Fear

You know, even if you know someone for many years, there will always be a fear factor involved in getting married, because when we do get married we hope that it's for life, forever and ever, that there's no turning back. You burn all your bridges. And when you choose your partner, you almost give up all your rights to complain too!

But I have to agree that when it's time for a decision, even if everything looks good on paper, you have to go with your gut.

If you weigh logic vs emotion, there has to be a right balance in matters of life.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@Niksik

You know, even if you know someone for many years, there will always be a fear factor involved in getting married, because when we do get married we hope that it’s for life, forever and ever, that there’s no turning back. You burn all your bridges. And when you choose your partner, you almost give up all your rights to complain too!

But I have to agree that when it’s time for a decision, even if everything looks good on paper, you have to go with your gut.

If you weigh logic vs emotion, there has to be a right balance in matters of life.

my mom thinks that I dont have a gut

[Niksik]

Re: Fear

It's probably full of aloo key parathey, that's why!

[arshad5]

Re: Fear

I guess you just have to follow your heart. When the time is right it will just happen. I think the problem is we just want to be in control of our lives and look for perfection or ideals. Well life is not perfect if you get 80% of what you are looking for then that is about as good as it gets. You have to learn to compromise on the other 20%.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@Niksik

It’s probably full of aloo key parathey, that’s why!

correction:

keema ke parathey

[Lois_Lane]

Re: Fear

Thankyou guys, really it was nice reading all the great suggestions. Like everyone mentioned, once you find the right guy and you feel this is it then the fear walks out by itself.

[Spock]

Re: Fear

You are welcome.

[Gr8Heera]

You know, even if you know someone for many years, there will always be a fear factor involved in getting married, because when we do get married we hope that it's for life, forever and ever, that there's no turning back. You burn all your bridges. And when you choose your partner, you almost give up all your rights to complain too!

But I have to agree that when it's time for a decision, even if everything looks good on paper, you have to go with your gut.

If you weigh logic vs emotion, there has to be a right balance in matters of life.

Great post.

Jitni tareef ki jaay kum hai.