I am just facing family issues involving parents playing favoritism with their children. It has gotten to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I live in an extended family and can clearly see the differences. If I lived separate I wouldn’t have to deal with it, but we are not financially stable yet.
From an Islamic point of view how is favoritism viewed? And how should it be handled?
I took a course on Islamic Code of Ethics, and the shaykh covered all the rights and obligations in Islam...like rights of the parents, children, spouse, neighbours, elderly, nonMuslims, etc. One of the rights of the child mentioned was fair treatment, that no children are favoured based on their gender, age or anything else. It is part of the emotional nourishment that parents must give their children, part of providing love, support, mercy. The shaykh also mentioned that while it might not always be possible to deal with people equally in terms of your feelings for them, you must be fair to them in terms of your treatment. And he quoted a hadith that says to be fair and just to your children and give gifts equally
Islam is a religion of balance and a religion of justice. To show favoritism to one child over another is not justice and it is not part of Islam. The parents should be reminded that all children are a gift and blessing to them from Allah and that they will be held accountable for how they treated them and if they fulfilled their obligations as parents
Hope this helps
Did he ever mention how it should be handled from the child's point of view?
Re: Favoritisms and Islam
Have faith in ALLAH. I have seen people and children facing tough times of many kinds including favouritism problem, those who kept level headed and faith succeeded and are living peaceful prosperous lives.
Patience doesnt mean that u expect a change or reward within days,weeks or months, but that u keep patience for ALLAH only and dont expect anything(reward) from people.
Re: Favoritisms and Islam
Salaam sister,
I have a few quotes from the Prophet (saww) and his Ahlul Bayt (as):
The Prophet of Islam has said:
“Keep justice for all your children in your mind even when some of them are away. If you desire treatment of love, kindness and justice from your children, then give them similar treatment." (Makarim al akhlaq, v 71, p. 252)
The Prophet noticed that a person was more attached to one son than to the other. He told him:
“Who don’t you keep the need for justice and equality of treatment in mind?" (Makarim al akhlaq, v 11, p. 252)
One person was sitting in the company of the Prophet when his son arrived. The person kissed the boy and made him sit on his lap. After a while the person’s daughter came there and the person made her sit in front of him. Then the Prophet told to the person:
“Why didn’t you keep in your consideration the need for justice and equality between your children ?(Majma al zawaid, v 8, p. 156)
Imam Ali, The Commander of the Faithful, says:
“Delivering justice and equality to people is the best of politics." (Gharar al hukm, p. 64)
Imam Jafer al Sadiq says:
“.As pure and cool water is craved for by a thirsty person, so do people desire to have justice and equality and their taste is sweeter and better for them. There is nothing better than justice." (Usul al-Kafi, v 2, p. 147)
wasalam
ramesha :)