I came across some pictures of Asim Azhar from a concert in Houston and the comments under it were terrible. It looks like many others think the same, but I wonder how one is supposed to deal with such fat shaming in real life from friends and family. When confronted to mind their own business, those who shame others over gaining weight defend themselves by doing it only out of love and concern for health. Also, how, in your opinion, should teenagers respond to such shaming when they are being bullied by elders at family events and/or at school? I do not think ignoring the comments alone is the solution.
Some how the society has completely diverged, shaming men about anything is Kosher, men are insulted on a regular basis for being short, skinny, fat for being broke, on what they drive, what they wear, their political and social views and hinting about a girls weight alone will draw a wrath like cannot be explained. Results are that 20 years ago, we used to see mostly girls in the gym and now its mostly men in the gym. Almost all of Harris and Safy's friends workout on a regular basis and are very fit.
During the last 40 years, average woman has gained a lot more weight than average men. I know shaming is a very mean thing, however healthy criticism has a place in life. I have a hard time respecting any man who lets himself go.
You sure they weren’t pictures of your fat cat posing for the camera? No sane being will ever appreciate seeing a whale deformed into a cat, that too in a live friggin concert
I don’t think fat shaming is a men-only or women-only issue. It’s harassment, plain and simple. But since the harassers can hide behind the veil of concern for the health of their victim, they get away with it far too easily.
Than how come women are gaining weight at double the rate of men? I don’t think harassments should be allowed, however looking at Social media I feel that the most abusive, the most vulgar and the most crass posters come from a certain region. In regards to politics also, I have never witnessed such vulgarity anywhere else. There are civilised ways of expressing disagreements.
We all make personal choices, I keep my distance, made my children keep a distance also and hence enjoy peace. People engaging public there should be prepared for what is to come. He has a choice to not engage people there, report abusers, sue them.
I agree with that. On social media one could block comments and many people do that. The problem arises when such harassment is coming from within the family, or from people with whom we must interact with and avoidance isn’t so easy. I know someone who was harassed so much that he would spend hours everyday trying to lose weight, skip food he loved, and since he was always running low on energy he started having other health issues and eventually got into a big car accident. I think when avoidance is not possible, one should use a mix of strategies instead of just hiding oneself. Developing a thick skin and picking on weaknesses of those “concerned” should be part of one’s toolbox when tackling such situations.
I know people can be very mean, even when I watch desi shows, mocking people for being gunja, thinga, sookha, kaala, mota etc is just normalized, even when you look at Bilawal being abused and mocked in every corner by supposedly respectable people. In personal lives, I am a big fan of setting boundaries. If someone abuses or ridicules or disrespects you. You need to walk away from them after giving them warnings. I walked away from family and community for years and once they agreed to a relationship of mutual respect, we started talking again.
Young men here are dealing with an epidemic of mental illness due to meanness and rejections from girls. Two of Safy’s closest friends are dealing with mental issues. One guy is tall, fit, business analyst and faced female rejections as he is not a player and now dealing with anxiety and paranoia.
I really cringe at the Moeen Akhtar skit with Anwar Maqsood where he posed as a Bengali with a black face. People not only get abused there for their body but also for their values and clothings. I heard the Pasoori singer was getting death threats.
The US surgeon general says that loneliness is reaching epidemic levels. Andrew Tate said that way earlier than the fancy shmancy government officials said so. The era of women being truly independent has finally arrived. Thanks to brainwashing, women now happily “invest” in their career but won’t “sacrifice” to get married. In my circle not a single woman under 30 wants to get married regardless of how desperate her family is. While guys who want children do not want the challenging health issues by marrying anyone over 30. I am seeing guys who brought their traditional wives from Pakistan, being able to cohabitate much faster and for much longer, after being exclusive, compared to guys who married career-oriented local girls. Also, due to decades of propaganda, Pakistani men are seen as the worst men by women generally. All those movies, tv shows, documentaries, radio commentary, news, etc. has contributed to pushing Pakistan-origin men to be least likeable by women. As a result, Pakistani men have to compensate in other areas far more compared to other men to evoke similar interest.
The more I research the relationships, I lean towards understanding that women don’t love men the way men love women. The very well-established phenomenon of female hypergamy supports the argument that women marry up to get ahead in life, men mostly marry lower or equal. In other words for love.
Women are genetically designed to hate an average man and will only be attracted to the top ten percent, more data supports that they will share the top guys, rather than be stuck with a faithful loser.
This is just biology, women bear most of the risk so nature created a defense mechanism in them so they may not waste their life raising so-called losers kids.
I see single professional women thriving and happy. Men do not do so well being single. I guess women here have support circles and men don’t.
Western societies are going extinct.
Passport Bros are a thing now. However, Sams brothers first fiance from PK was a 10 times bigger player than girls here, marrying overseas is a risk.
Safys friend is Ukrainian, he is a business analyst, MS from Georgia Tech, he couldnt get a girl here, brought a girl from Ukraine, she turned on him and ditched him.
Would you marry a girl knowing that she does not love you and just wants Visa?
That is not natural behavior of women, not at least to the extent that is being observed in capitalist cultures. It’s deliberate brainwashing since kindergarten. Women influenced by capitalist values have shared how their own mothers brainwashed them from an early age to prepare for divorce before they prepare for marriage. Financial independence was part of that preparation. When careers are being built with such bad intentions, no wonder we see insane hypergamy, and much higher rates of divorces. It also strips away the idea of facing ups and downs in life together, and instead encourages women to wait at the finish line and pick the winners. Sadly those winners are actually also eventual losers because we have laws in capitalist societies that have incentivized divorce, and the incentives keep on increasing with time a couple has been together.
The millionaires I’m acquainted with have gone through divorce at least once and/or are stuck with mostly garbage wives. The garbage wives are average in looks, and have terrible personalities. The husbands themselves, and everyone around them know that the moment a major financial, health or legal problem comes their way, they will be dragged to the divorce court. I posted about one such Indian guy a few years ago here on GS but can’t find that post now.
Women who are normal in their head and have not been brainwashed take a leap of faith early on and marry a few very lucky average guys. The best women I know have married average men.
Finally, the women who waited on the finish line eventually realize that they will not get the winners they were waiting for as the competition was insane which infuriates them. Then they marry average guys and that average guy keeps wondering for the rest of his life what he did wrong to piss off his wife.
This is the first time that women have freedom and power, hence for the first time we can see their normal selves. Beaten down in misogyny and patriarchy was not their normal selves.
I write after reading research, for modern women getting a man is not a prize or priority and on average he is 7th in priorities. The sole purpose of provide and protect is not their.
Lol! At women waiting at the finish line! Dude women are reaching finish line before men. They are doing better in every facet of life.
They are better in school, better at finances, better at relationships and better at keeping a good home.
At our training I was sitting with young ladies and we started sharing our life experiences and most these girls had way better life experiences than us. Nat has travelled over hundred countries, backpacking through Australia, working in farms there etc.
Which woman is the normal form, where she has the liberty to live as per her will or where she is forced to wear Burka?
When it comes to life-long relationships of career-oriented women, their life-long relationships are a lot like all-wheel-drive (AWD) cars. There are too many moving parts, hence too many things that could break, hence repairs are too expensive and frequent. But while everything is working as it should, their relationships are better than anything else out there and that’s what is advertised. I see hundreds of them everyday and I can tell you that by the time they reach home from work, they do not want to even see the face of another human let alone cook or serve dinner to any. And mornings are worse.
I generally feel sorry for career-oriented women as they are working toward a self-fulfilling prophecy, and their problems keep on increasing. Most of them choose the wrong man because they consider him really open-minded and secure in himself. Since she doesn’t have to relocate or make too many adjustments to her daily routine and he complements her lifestyle instead of changing it, she misses the bigger picture. Little does she realize that he too is finding it convenient and simply doesn’t care as long as he is not paying for something. He’ll never take any responsibility when she would be totally dependent on him. When a situation arises when he’ll have to take such responsibility, then only the woman learns what it was all about all along.
I was recently involved in a rishta talk from a girl’s side who herself earns quite well. She wanted a “partner” who would at least earn as much as she does, and is open-minded, because she wanted to continue to travel, have fun, and what not. The guy she wanted to marry earned well and had all of that. They met a few times, and she realized that the guy was not willing to buy her even a $1/= McDonald’s ice cream cone if she refused to contribute or return the favor. That led her to realize that her equal financial contribution was a must to EVERYTHING they had planned so far. She asked him about the possibility of taking full financial responsibility and determined that if she can’t contribute due to prolonged sickness or decides to quit her job, then it will all be over in no time. In another case, I learned of a need for emergency funds needed for a highly educated career-driven pregnant lady in my circle because her husband refused to pay out-of-pocket hospital bills due to insurance issues during her pregnancy and his job’s insurance had not yet kicked in for her. The husband is quite rich and had the money to afford the costs ten times over, yet demanded 50% to come from the lady.
Neither men, nor women are meant to spend their lives by themselves but the capitalist indoctrination has made it incredibly difficult for both to live how we are meant to live. The capitalist system works for only top 10% of men and far fewer women at most. But any social system that marginalizes 80% of men can’t be called a successful system.
For every single strong financially independent girl you can show me who is unhappy, I will show you ten thousand abused, oppressed, unhappy wives who wish they had their lives. Every single day I come across extremely happy, financially independent happy girls.
Again somehow many men think they should dictate to women what should make them happy.
There is extensive research done and men are not a priority for western women.
They are only interested in men that can bring value to their lives and enhance their life experiences. Most desis do not have much of a life outside movies, food etc. Hete people have passions, Bill Gates daughter used to compete in horse riding, my friend competed with her, her husband also is a rider, many hike, swim, travel, camp etc so finding people who share interests is important.
Nature makes women the selectors, it is not upto men to decide what should be important to women.
Lately it’s women resoundingly rejecting a vast majority of men.
Caucasians, Japanese are in a severe population decline, they are quickly becoming minority in many metros. Even Chinese population is going to fall off the cliff. Modern women donât find men to be worthy of reproducing.
Maybe babies born in factories will be the new thing in 50 years.
