Today some one told me about a case about an indian family here in america. The father badly beat up his daughter because she failed in the exams and he thought that she has some affair with a boy. I don’t know the whole story, but still i was shocked.
I know family violence is a common practice in Pakistan too. Its sad, but its true. But anyone had such experience and in spite of having all the human rights here in america, how come these things still happen? or will that be shameful to press charges against u’r parents ?
What u think as a parent and as a son or daughter ?
I have never had any experience with serious beatings. I am 21 and my mum sometimes still hits me (she throws jootas at me when I talk while she's watching Indian dramas :p) , but I never actually mind her doing that.
A few months ago, I heard of a Pakistani father murdering his daughter because she refused to wear a hijab? It was also in Canada, and I don't exactly remember the story, but that man was charged. Of course it was not just a beating.
If you do know someone who has very abusive parents, I would say report it to the police. You never know, maybe one day in anger your father/mother could kill you (unintentionally of course, or so I hope), and I personally believe it is wrong for the kids to be always living in fear of another serious beating. It could ruin one psychologically.
^^ Yea i definitely think so too. It can just destroy the whole personality of a child. Means i can't imagine that how can some one harm his own child to the extent that he/she is dead or badly beaten.
Specially in desi families there is that 'don't speak, don't tell' policy. It happens so often but still wives and children don't talk about it.
Some times it really makes me wonder if we desi men r so weak that we beat the hell out of our families to show our superiority ?????
Family violence isn't found in desi households only. I can give you a number of examples of angraiz households. Call it discipline or physical abuse but yeah I got it when I was In my teens.
^ exactly! It’s found A LOT in other races as well. Like have you never seen gorays and kalays out ont he road smacking their kid about like as if it’s normal. It’s so embarrassing for the child as well! Because ofoucrse your not gonna want a crowd to look down at you whislt your parent hits you
Actual abuse, to the point where that child lives in fear inside his/her own home is just ridiculous! I think if parents give their time to their kids when they are at a very young age and onwards, and they show strictness as well as love you can’t go wrong! Reward them for their good deeds and just tell them not to do it again for their wrong ones…I don’t have a problem with little thuds on their back or bottom…but actually hitting the child’s hed and pushing him/her about and smacking his/her face till it’s bright red is stupid!
My mum’s never hit me so hard that i am in REAL pain, she’s always been gentle…raised her voice but not abused me…ofcourse I’ve had a joota come my way once in a while but y’now, I deserve it sometimes
I know its also in all other communities too but at least they address this problem. In desi communities no one talks about it, so problem never get solved. If some how people start addressing this issue than personality of a child can be saved. For the very same reason abusive parents creates an abusive child and this cycle keeps going on.
Btw only purpose of this thread is that as parents and children we should realize that what is most appropriate way of handling this kind of situation.
In our asian families, wen severe beating is involved to the extent where it even leads to death, its usually coz of maintaining the honour, and there are many cases of honour killingz. I think ppl resort to such when parentz feel there is no other way of resolving the issue, which is quite pathetic! coz i feel it all dependz on upbringing, if u illustrate the wrong n rights from a very young age, the child would hav sum sense of direction, but ofcourse if u dnt giv ur children time n then one day they do sumthing which is totally against ur moralz etc then u end up beating them to death....totally wrong coz itz not the child'z fault itz the parentz fault!
Beating isnt the answer to anything anyway, especially when kids are involved coz children tend to rebel even more if they are hit and sum even get used to the frequent beatingz anyway hence they go tht step further the next time...wont help in making the child a better person, also the child will build hatred towards the parent and wont listen or do wat the parent expectz anyway, which will result in both parties being extremely distanced and the parentz will hav to put up with more of the bad behaviour which is out of their control.
Ofcourse sum families go thru' domestic violence and wen children n wife suffer for very little reasons, for example the hubby beats wife for doing sumthing slightly wrong, or if hes totally crazy and takes pleasure from beating his family up...tht's non-tolerable and should b reported to the authorities, living in the countries we do, we hav many ways out and we shudnt feel tht we cant go n talk to "outsiders". Violence is sumthing no one should learn to live with!
wats sad …haan…har waqt piyar karte raho gai to . bachai bigarh jatai hain:barbie: …is liye piyar k waqt piyar aur maar k waqt maar..jo piyar sai nahi hota woh maar sai ho jata hai
i wont lie …meri ammi muje bahoot mara karti thi when i was lil…hatoun ko dard hoti thi is liye stick sai maarti thi..:D…i have some scars at ma face …but then again i wasnt easy child …so i dunt blame her..i mean wat would u do if ur child breaks stuff like tee vee ..doors…windows..light bulbs etc etc…aur woh bi jaan bhooje kar jab pata bi ho k ammi sai maar parai gey???barha ziddi/akkarh wala tha aur abi bi hoon…lakin ab cheezein nahi toorhta
very sad! I think when it comes to badly beating up your kid its not the kid driving the parent to do punish them like that but rather unhealthy on the parents behalf the parents need anger management help there are alternative ways to get the point across. i hate the way it totally ruins the kids self confidence and interferes in their social development, it also leads to low self esteem.
