So , now kids are teenagers , they have their own circle of friends , they want to hanground with them and do not want to go to Uncle and Auntie parties anymore unless their desi counterparts are also coming. Even in that case they wish to hangaround with non desi friends , rather than desi friends.
Do not get me wrong. We keep a tab on what they do while they are having good time. We make sure that they are supervised by adults , they do no smoking , no drinking , and no fooling around. We cannot just chain them in the house and we have to let go of them to go out there . So today some uncle said that when it comes to invitation to a pary after the kids become teenagers , then family means just husband and wife , kids have their own brand of activities and entertainment to go to.
Is it a norm or an exception ?
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
those people who have no control over their own children must have gone wrong somewhere in raising those kids. kids don't become like the way u described overnight. they must have missed/ignored those signs. prolly, they deserved that :)
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
would you change your parenting style based on what is the norm? what is your objective in asking this?
and khalil bhaiyya, how many kids have you raised so far?
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a few dozen 
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No, its pretty normal. They are growing up and want some independence. As long as they respect you and are not doing anything wrong...just my opinion :)
Mirch you are right... how much can you hold onto kids?
You just need to make sure you can create an atmosphere where they will be able to talk to you freely...or as freely as you can expect teens to speak to their "buddhey" parents :(
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
in our desi community, a family invitation does include the whole family, kids and all. usually everyone does show up, and its encouraged because get togethers are considered a family affair and it gives an opportunity to the kids to socialize with other desi kids/families coming from similar backgrounds and develop a cultural affinity.
nothing wrong with older kids having their own circle of friends and their own activities, i'm sure they spend a majority of their time with them, so i don't see how attending an occassional family outing would be a problem.
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
I dont get the 'poof' bit in the title? Poof as in poofter??
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
I have not been to any gathering where kids are not included...its their choice if elder children dont want to come but they are always welcome. but i have been to mostly family gatherings so maybe ithats why.
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
Agree with Nina85, pretty normal and nothing wrong with it imo
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
Mirchi
this bhai sahab has no clue, family means family, and couple is invited as Mr and Mrs.
now if a family is invited and kids dont go, its up to the family.
However if the family is invited and you have to rsvp, telling how many are coming is proper. In cases where the event is segregated, and u have a big clan, telling how many lads vs ladies is also a good thing to do.
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
AAAAH
Reminds me of my teenage days. We HAD to go with parents in desi parties and i hated it. All my dads circle of friends had kids much younger than me and if i missed any party, they all asked why i haven't showed up. My son is 8 and he hates to go with us even now if there are no kids of his age group.
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
if its a family then its the entire tabar. and if its only the couple then its only Mr & Mrs XYZ.
ps. when inshaALLAH your kids will be getting marrying send this uncle a card that Mr. Uncle ONLY! 
…jk
Re: Family ? Kids and parents ? Poof.
My parents complained of the same thing until a few years back but now they understand why we do it- my siblings and I rarely want to go to any desi dawats, unless we have someone there to hang out with. Reasons are simple: annoying, nagging aunties and uncles. Before it was always, when are you getting married questions, why my chehra isn't gora enough, why im so skinny, and all the gossip we had to sit and listen to.. then after marriage, more annoying questions about when i'll have kids and move in with hubby and why im not dressed in gold like a proper married woman and what not.
It's gotten better over the years but if given a choice, I prefer to stay at home.. and if I go, it's either because my parents want us to or I want good dawat food. There are some family friends whos houses/dawats I love to go to because I know I won't be subjected to hours of boredom and annoyance even if there's noone my age to hang out with.
... So today some uncle said that when it comes to invitation to a pary after the kids become teenagers , then family means just husband and wife , kids have their own brand of activities and entertainment to go to. Is it a norm or an exception ?
I've never heard of that before. Sometimes the kids don't come but from what I've seen, that statement doesn't apply until the kids get married and sometimes not even then.