I visited my home town after 7 months. This is the first time I had such a long period between the visits. Being pregnant I didn’t bother to meet up with many friends and during 2 weeks time I only met up with 2 friends. I was at my parents’ home most of the time and was really in deep shock to see how they behaved with our bhabi and how they behave with my siblings whom they consider rebellious or different.
We are 5 siblings of whom the eldest sister and the only brother are my mother’s all time favourites! So anyone who disagrees with them have to deal with my mum as well.
My younger sisters have been having issues with the eldest sister who literally behaves like she is an illiterate from a village in Pakistan! When someone tells her off or asks her to stop yelling at i.e her daughters she would get offended and stop speaking to the person for a while. Because of their issues, my elder sister also behaved strangely to me even though I am so friendly and loving to her daughters!
My brother is 5 yrs younger than me and married to our cousin from Pakistan. He behaves like an idiot and the few times I told him off he didn’t speak to me for a few days despite me being a guest in their house!!he even yelled at me in front of his wife which made me take distance towards hm and not commenting anything.
My parents don’t stop these 2 siblings. Instead they tell us off and try to make us apologize which we deny to do anymore.
The yelling thing doesn’t stop at my sister or brother. Even my father yells so much at home. I think I was the only one not yelled at by him due to being a guest!
I felt so much annoyance and distress due to their behaviour and felt that they didn’t par much attention and respect to the fact that I am pregnant and need silence, rest and a good environment around me. I just don’t feel like going back to that house. And I have felt like that every time I came back the last few times. I am not planning to go back before my delivery and I am worried how loud they will be when I go there with the baby. I don’t feel like taking my baby and go live there for a while due to their behaviour and attitude!!!
I feel my parents have spoiled those 2 siblings and these 2 are ruining the environment in the family. On top of that its really annoying me that they treat my bhabi like a naukaraani from Pakistan!!!
I just need to vent here as its embarrassing to talk about this to friends here.
Her mother has passed away and I dont have contact with her father - my mammu- due to me getting divorced from a cousin years back....family history u know!
Well the treatment I am referring to is that she works a lot at home while my bro doesnt do a thing!!he doesnt socialize with ANYONE and wont introduce her to new ppl or let her go out....she only goes out when she is going for grocery shopping somewhere nearby....and he finds it his right to speak ill to her when he isnt getting his will!
Which part of Pakistan is your bhabi from? I mean how much freedom you reckon has she experienced in Pakistan to know that she's almost locked up in a oh so free country?
She is from rural area of Punjab and has been living a laid back life there. She took her BA exams by studying at home and comes from a strict family.
However she does know that she is living in a free country and she does observe the lifestyles of me and my other sister. 2 of my sisters are housewives cuz of the kids while me and my others sister are very active in external activities.
I might be exagerating in the sense that I wouldnt have coped with it myself but what really annoyes me is that my parents chose her and now they are critizing her looks, behaviour etc..as if they didnt know from before!
my dad interferes in her clothing style, makeup to such an extent that she being a new dulhan stoppped wearing nice clothes and makeup at home for her husband. its all just so annoying and crazy!!and my bro seems to give up due to parental control!!and the man is 26!!
they pray, fast, performed Hajj but they dont accept the fact the my bro wanted to live on his own with his wife and they dont accept my sister to marry outside zaat...thats what they believe in!
a) talk to your parents. tell them whats the pint of all namazain, roza, hajj etc when they are hurting someone. make them realise that god doesnot like this kind of behaviour and they will be punished by him. i'll say do talk to them even if you think it will be of no use and i'll say talk to them by yourself and with calmness. see what thier response is. same thing you should do with your sister and bro aswell. perhaps take them out somewhere (separately) and tell them that you want to discuss something important and then explain everything.
b) if telling them, making them understand doesnot work at all. then i'll say stay away from them for some time. dont talk to your brother and sister mom and dad at all. dont call them. just dont give any response (tell your sis to do the same)...seeing no response from you guys your sis/bro/mom/dad will surely ask you why such distance and then tell them that you are upset coz their behaviour.
pata hai baat kya hoti hai. jab ek insaan ko buri cheez pe shay milti hai tou woh usko karne main fakhar mehsoos karta hai...tum loag koi reponse nahi do gi tou inshallah sab apna behaviour khud hi theek ker lain ge.
also read namaz and pray and inshallah things will be good