family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

Lifestyle Relationships
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Am i the only 1 out ther who is in ths situation?
from a very young age every1 in the family kinda expectd me n my pupos son to marry

However ths didnt happen…i fell 4 sum1 else n decided to marry hm..(distant relatives) me n the guy both got on ever since we met…we bth felt the same way abt each other… his family spoke to my parents n everythng was dun good…aftr 4 yrs of knwin eachother personally we gt enagaged last yr :slight_smile:

even thou my immediate family is happy wit it ie my mum dad n siblings n evn his side ov the fam…my dads side ov the family cnt stnd it…we get on but i feel as if thy personly hate me

will thy ever overcome ths?!

i jus want every1 to b happy…lifes too short to stress over these kind ov thngz

fro

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

You can't change things and ppl as you like.

That is their problem not yours.

Your life, your decision. You can't do anything. Stop worrying about it.

You can't make happy all ppl. You just try your best and leave everything on Allah.

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

Mizz Khan,

You are engaged to this guy. If the situation was THAT BAD.....I don't think you would have come as far as an engagement even.

Your immediate family is happy and these are the people that matter more than your khala, phoopo, taya, etc etc. You have the blessing and support of your parents and siblings and that's essential.

Their could be many reasons why other people are upset. Perhaps it's jealousy. Maybe others in the family wanted you as their daugther in law. Maybe people from his side of the family wanted him as their son-in-law. Maybe they are unhappy because of insecurity.

The bottome line is that you can't change or control how others will think. Your immediate family is happy and you and your fiance love each other. That's all you need. Once you and him get married.....things will become more final....and people will move on with their lives and petty concerns.

Your true friends will share your happiness and support you. And unfortunately....it's hard to find "true friends" among our relatives sometimes. Instead of worrying about them.....spend your time celebrating your joy with the people who are sincerely happy for you.

Always remember that you can't please everybody, it's not possible, and that is not your mission. Congratulations and best wishes :)

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

They’ll get over it. Just worry abou tyour lengha and hair and make up and be happy :layd:

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

ur happu the guy is happy ur famlies r happy that shud be it! if u try to make EVERY! happy u'll end up nowhere. mark my words. and ur relatives r not happy, i dont think u shud care cuz they r NEVER happy and they wont ever be cuz y rejected ur phuppos son so they'll be whining bout it for the rest of their lives.

dont listen to them cuz im sure if ur cousin met sum1 else and wanted to marry that girl they wudnt even care about u if ur happy or not.

i agree life's too short to stress over thngs but life's too short for making other ppl happy also . we shud be mean and think bout ourselves sumtimes too :)

get married to the guy u want and best of luck! :)

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

We can't please everyone all the time and sometimes it is not feasible to even try. Someone will always be there to throw a spanner into the works. Aslong as you, your other half and the two respective families are happy, I would not worry too much about anyone else.

Don't worry about them overcoming this. Let them deal with it in their own way. You just look forward to your wedding inshallah and keeping the people who are happy for you, happy.

:)

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

I was in the kind of same situation as u. however in my case my parents arranged my shaadi to another guy. My taaya wanted me married to his youngest son, to an extent that my taaya even touched my moms feet when she went wedding shopping for me knwing that since the dates had been set nothing cud be done. but since i got married our relationship hasnt changed. they still love me to death and they love my husband too.. so honestly theyll get over it.

1001 Things To Do Before You Die
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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

wow lucky you.....well i had the same issue but see IM MARRYING THE ONE THEY ALL THOUGHT I WOULD so thats settled and all my relatives are likeyeh we knew it now if i had not married him they wouldve been gossiping about how it didnt work out, bascially people gossip and everyone assumes your gna marry so and so...it happens to most of us gorgeous girls...lol..so dnt worry relax...once ur weddings over theyl get over it. no stressing......if they were that strict they wouldnt have got u engaged.....just chill...xxx

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

Just ignore these family politics...........................and FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on your life.

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

awww thnk u soo mch every1.... the way i c it me n hm r happy we gt our parents dua so let the rest deal wit it....

n soon i hope thy gt over it

i jus hate havin ppl hate me im reali self consious in tht sense but thts life...or shud i say family politics

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

I can so relate to that and totally understand what u mean.since about 15yrs of age Iv been hassled loads about saying "yes" to a cousin of mine. I care an awful lot about my parents and told them if thats what they want then Inshalah I will marry,but I said I wanted options because I do not get on with that cousin of mine at all. Anyway once it got out that Id rejected him there was so much gossipping goin on and aunties/uncles saying "cant believe it,she thinks so much of herself"etc. It was hard but I learnt to deal with it and gradually my parents accepted it. Similar thing is happenning to my sister,everyone assumes shes going to marry another cousin. She doesnt even like him but is scared that once again mum and dad wil be really upset and people will chat. Its such a shame that it has to be like that but back to the topic Mizz Khan you only live life once,never know whats round the corner so enjoy it. Pray that all goes well for u:)
xx

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

its soo hard sayin no....cuz the thng is my older sis is married out of fam n i knew it ws my dads choice 4 me to mrry his issters son but i just couldnt do it...
didnt like the guy n also his fam...i get on wit em to face value but thts it cnt c myself bein able to liv wit em

it was hard but sumthng i do not regret dng....cuz in the end i wud av had to spend my life wit hm nt my parents

my parents initially wernt happy wit me gtin wit he guy i wntd to i reali had to fight my corner....jus do dua it wrks out cuz allah na kare if i did hav ne probs i wudnt have the corouge to go to my parents cuz its sumthng i realli fought 4 despite my parents tellin me i had btr options

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

So, i was right about the jealousy bit....and the possibility that some of your relatives may have wanted you for a daughter-in-law.

Your dad might have been upset....but he has relented and approved of your engagement to the guy you like. And that's because at the end of the day, even if he's not thrilled, he loves you and doesn't want to impose an undesired rishta on you. Continue praying for a good life and successful marriage with your fiance. InshaAllah everything will go well and you'll prove to your parents that you made a good choice ;) Although every marriage (arranged or love) has it's challenges and obstacles....it's the mutual efforts of the couple that make it work. Best wishes :)

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

aww redvelvet thnk u 4 kind words really touchd me :))

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Re: family havin issues cuz u chose who u wna marry

when you thought about marrying your cousin, did you worry that their eyes would singular?